70滿眼也都是傷心事。。。

It is our time to face and experice those 生離死別的 sadness 。。。 Life is just so f**king short and fragile...

There is a Korean girl in my firm, actually an American bored Korean girl. She and a few other guys are my friends, sometimes we went out for drinks after work... Days ago, her father passed away. It happened in a sudden, like heart attack, she was so sad and regret. She is like ... collapsed. She took two weeks off and when she came back she just wanted to quit her job and change her life. She works in HR, recuiting, she is like :"My job is to find some people to make those rich people richer. I do not give a damn"... When we went out, we tried to comfort her but she was so sad, she just kept crying... she was so sad, and she felt more sad becasue she did not realize her father loved her so much till he died... I am the only Chinese in the group, and she is American bored Asian... so I can understand what she said more than those white people... I know that is f*cking Asian culture crap thing... Her father was the first generation immigriant, like most of our parents, under the huge influencs of the Asian culture actually it is Chinese culture, he did not express his love his caring his emotion directly. The girl is an American, so she thought her father did not love her. She told us: "I hated him, I hated him so much"... till his death, she started to realized ... Isn't so sad? I do not know what to say, so I just told her : "F**k Asian culture" ... she agrees....

There is someting in our culture which is so damn insane. If you love someone, why do not you tell him/her? Even your own children? In front of love, why to be shy, why to hide yourself, why to pretend not care.... It is just so f*cking insane! If someone kept giving me sh*t, how can I know she/he loves me even he/she is my parents? Same thing between the couples, lovers ... Sometimes it is like: the more you love, the more sh*t you give. It is just terrible... You know what I mean, right?

Anyway, I am a pretty tough guy, but when she cried on my shoulder saying the following I was almost in tears... She said:" Every girl dreams the same thing, the only thing, in her whole life, one day, she will get married, and during the wedding, she will hold her farther's hand walking into the church. I am not married but he was gone ..." ...

We, as friends, do not want to see her being so low, so we spent a lot of time with her recently, drinks, going out, chat... Now she is getting better... we started to see the old 'she' comes back, we started to jokes, we started to b*llshitting, we started to laugh ... that is pretty good.. I feel she did grow up this time, not like a naughty little crazy gile any more, but what she experienced was not enjoyable ... everyone will grow up, but we should not grow up in this hard way, in this sad way ...

Go to your parents, your children, your beloved, tell him/her face to face, eye to eye "I love you"... Be true to yourself, be true to your beloved... Forget about those f**king 含蓄，內瀲，中庸。。。

Anyway, I do not know what I am talking about ... never mind ...