Emily's Bittersweet Life
What is not brought to consciousness, comes to us as fate---Carl Jung
複活節，卻感覺不到自己的複活。在舅舅家裏過複活節，關在屋裏看"sex and the city"，看到一集談到了the greatest love in one's life. 她們說人在一生中會有兩個greatest love，我笑，真的嗎？
還記得在前幾天，終於Dan跟說說了sorry,可是就像我給他回的短信中我說,sorry, I just simply hate you more than anything else in this planet.整個感覺我現在隻能說，這段感情就像一個人給了我一刀，然後對我說對不起，我不是故意要捅你的，可是i am bleeding，我笑。如果你從一開始就不想being in a relationship，為什麽不早告訴我？到這個時候了，你才對我說,i apologize for everything i've put you through, i am just not ready to be in a relationship.我一點都不驚訝，so, what were we?或許這已經不重要了。這段無疾而終的感情，或許一段隻有我認為being in a relationship的感情，在春暖花開之際悄然離去。
在我離開這段感情之後，我以為我遇到了可以相信可以依靠的人，可是才發現he is not availiable，後來在一次晚餐之後他對我說, I can't deny i like you so much, for evertyhing we had was so real, and i love my girlfriend. 然後我笑了，因為我不用說什麽了，沒有什麽好說的了。if you love your girlfriend, i wish you happiness.
別人說一次跌倒了是遇人不順，兩次跌倒了要爬起來，但是如果次次都跌倒那就要看看是不是自己的問題了。有時候真的想說i don't believe in relationship anymore,but why? should i stop believing in love because of some failed relationships? Definetely not, yes, I am sad, very hurt,but that's the way right? Who never get hurt in a lifetime? Probably there are, they are lucky, without a doubt, I admire them. But I feel thankful as well, for these lessons and experience I learned has made me become maturer and wiser.
