2. 克萊文傑

話說刑事調查部的那名工作人員，倒是挺走運。醫院外烽火連天。戰爭中的發了瘋的人們被授予勳章。世界各地的男孩子們為所謂的祖國捐軀，倒在各自的轟炸前線。沒人在乎這一切，更不用說這些年輕的生命了。眼下看不到時局有什麽結局。唯一可看到的倒是尤塞瑞恩自己的結局。要不是那個愛國的德克薩斯人─那個下巴底下那堆肉大得像漏鬥，頭發淩亂得象草垛，掛在臉上的永恒笑容象一頂十加侖黑帽的帽簷，尤塞瑞恩原本可以在醫院呆到世界未日。那個德克薩斯要病房裏的每一個人都快快樂樂， 除了尤塞瑞恩和鄧巴。德克薩斯人真是病入膏肓了。

即便德克薩斯人想讓尤塞瑞恩有好日子過，尤塞瑞恩亦快活不起來。因為醫院外麵沒有什麽令人快樂的事兒。唯一在進行的是戰爭。似乎沒人注意到這一點， 隻有尤塞瑞恩和鄧巴例外。尤塞瑞恩試圖提醒人們這一點，可人們躲著他，覺得他瘋了。就連克萊文傑，本該很清楚這一點的，此時卻也犯傻。克萊文傑在尤塞瑞恩躲進醫院之前見了他，也說他失去了理智。


克萊文傑義憤填膺，怒目相向，兩手緊抓住桌子，高聲喊著：“你這個瘋子！”


“克萊文傑，你究竟要別人怎麽樣才是？”軍官俱樂部的喧鬧聲中，鄧巴提高嗓門，極不耐煩地回敬了一句。


“我可不是在開玩笑，”克萊文傑毫不退讓。


“他們是想殺了我，”尤塞瑞恩鎮定地對他說。


“沒人想殺你，”克萊文傑高聲叫道。 “那他們幹嗎向我開槍？”尤塞瑞恩問。


“他們誰都不放過，見誰便開槍，”克萊文傑回答說，“他們要殺所有的人。”
“殺所有的人和殺我又有什麽不同？”


克萊文傑早已失去了控製，激動得從椅子上撐起半個身體，雙眼噙著淚水，蒼白的嘴唇不停地打顫。當他為自己信守的原則與人爭吵時，他總會呼吸急促，不住地眨眼，痛苦地強忍著淚水而結束爭吵。克萊文傑凡事咬死理。他真的失去了理智。
“他們是誰？”他想弄個明白。
“確切點說，你覺得是誰想謀害你？”


“他們中的每一個人，”尤塞瑞恩告訴他說。
“他們是誰？”
“你看呢？”


“這我可說不上。”
“那你又怎麽知道他們不想殺我呢？”


“因為……”克萊文傑嗑巴起來，沮喪至極地緘口不語。
克萊文傑確實以為自己是對的，但尤塞瑞恩有證據在。每次執行空中轟炸任務，他都會遭到陌生人的炮火襲擊，這可不好玩。要說這不好玩，很多其他事情更不是好玩。像個流浪漢住在皮亞諾薩島上的帳篷裏，背靠崇山峻嶺，麵對平靜，藍色的海洋一點也不好玩。那海水一抽筋，一眨眼的功夫，便能把人吞噬。三天後，海水把人送上海灘，一了百了地， 剩下的是一個青紫，浮腫的軀體，海水從冰冷的鼻孔裏緩慢地流出。
在尤塞瑞恩居住的帳篷和鄧巴的中隊之間隔著一片稀落晦暗的森林。緊靠帳篷一側是一條廢棄的鐵路壕溝，溝裏有一條通向機場的，向燃料卡車運送航空汽油的管道。托同屋的奧爾的洪福，這個帳篷是全中隊最奢侈的帳篷。尤塞瑞恩每次從醫院療養回來或是從羅馬休假返回營地，總會驚奇地發現，奧爾趁他不在時，添了一些新的生活設施─自來水，燒木柴的壁爐，水泥地板。帳篷是由尤塞瑞恩擇定地點，然後與奧爾聯手搭起來的。奧爾是個小矮個，胸佩空軍飛行徽章，成天笑嘻嘻的，一頭濃密的褐色卷發，由正中向兩邊分開。尤塞瑞恩較他身高肩寬，強壯迅捷。奧爾負責出主意，尤塞瑞恩出力。帳篷搭得很大，能住六個人， 但僅住他們倆。酷夏來臨時，奧爾卷起帳篷側簾，如此雖能透些風進來， 但也難以吹走帳篷裏的暑氣。
哈弗邁耶住在尤塞瑞恩的隔壁。此人喜歡吃花生薄脆糖，獨居一頂雙人帳篷，每晚用從四五口徑手槍射出的巨大的子彈屠殺小田鼠。槍是從尤塞瑞恩帳篷裏的那個死人身上偷來的。麥克沃特是住在哈弗邁耶帳篷另一側的鄰居。他早先跟克萊文傑同住。尤塞瑞恩出院時，由於克萊文傑不在，麥克沃特便讓內特利住進了自己的帳篷。內特利曾在羅馬追求過一個自己深戀著的成日裏睡眼惺忪的妓女，那妓女，對自己的行當，對內特利都很厭倦。麥克沃特很瘋狂。他是個飛行員，一有機會，他便放開了膽子開著飛機，以極可能低的高度掠過尤塞瑞恩的帳篷，隻是想看看自己會把尤塞瑞恩嚇成啥樣。他喜歡讓飛機掠過在銀色海灘沙洲附近的那隻由空油筒浮載的木筏的上空，向正在海裏裸泳的士兵們發出震耳欲聾的機擎的轟鳴聲。跟一個瘋子合住一頂帳篷，實在不是件容易的事，但內特利並不在乎。內特利自己也是個瘋子，一有空，他便會趕去幫忙建造一個軍官俱樂部─那個尤塞瑞恩從未出過一點力兒的軍官俱樂部。


其實，許多軍官俱樂部營建造，尤塞瑞恩都沒有幫過什麽忙，不過，皮亞諾薩島上的這個俱樂部，倒是最令他感到自豪。這是一座體現他的意誌力的紀念碑，它堅實牢固、構造複雜。俱樂部竣工以前，尤塞瑞恩從未出過一點兒力，之後，他倒是常去。那寬大，漂亮，層層木瓦蓋的俱樂部，尤塞瑞恩見了，滿心歡喜。這幢建築的確很壯觀。每次凝視著它，一股極強的成就感總會在尤塞瑞恩心裏升騰，盡管他意識到自己從未為此出過一點兒力。


在軍官俱樂部裏的一張桌子旁，尤塞瑞恩和克萊文傑最後一次相互辱罵對方是瘋子時，有四人在場。他們坐在後排，緊挨那張阿普爾比總想辦法贏錢的雙骰子賭台。阿普爾比精於擲骰子，就如他擅長打乒乓球一樣，而他擅長打乒乓球，就如他擅長其他任何事情一樣。阿普爾比每做一件事，都做得相當出色。阿普爾比是個衣阿華年輕人，一頭金發，他信奉上帝、母愛和美國人的生活方式，盡管他從未想過要這麽做。熟悉他的人，對他都頗有好感。
“我恨那個狗娘養的，”尤塞瑞恩怒吼道。
同克萊文傑吵架，是幾分鍾以前的事。當時，尤塞瑞恩想找一挺機關槍，但結果沒有找到。那是一個繁忙的夜晚。酒吧裏熙熙攘攘，雙骰子賭台上忙，乒乓球台上更忙。尤塞瑞恩真想用機槍掃射忙著在酒吧裏吟唱那些百聽不厭的古老的感傷歌曲的那幫人。沒有用機關槍向他們射擊，尤塞瑞恩倒是用腳跟狠狠地踩了一下那隻剛從兩名打球的軍官之一的球拍上掉落，朝他滾過來的乒乓球。


“尤塞瑞恩這家夥，”那兩個軍官搖了搖頭笑道，隨後便從架上的盒裏又取了一隻球。


“尤塞瑞恩這家夥，”尤塞瑞恩回了他們一句。
“尤塞瑞恩，”內特利向他低聲警告。
“你們懂我的意思？”克萊文傑問。
聽到尤塞瑞恩學舌，那兩個軍官又笑道：“尤塞瑞恩這家夥。”這回，聲音更響。
“尤塞瑞恩這家夥，”尤塞瑞恩又照著說了一句。
“尤塞瑞恩，你行行好，”內特利懇求道。
“你們懂我的意思？”克萊文傑問，“他有反社會的敵對心理。”
“唉呀，你給我閉嘴吧，”鄧巴對克萊文傑說。鄧巴喜歡克萊文傑，原因是，克萊文傑常惹他惱火，仿佛讓時間走慢了些。
“阿普爾比不在這兒，”克萊文傑洋洋得意地對尤塞瑞恩說。
“誰說阿普爾比了？”尤塞瑞恩想弄個清楚。
“卡思卡特上校也不在。”

“誰說卡思卡特上校了？”

“那你究竟恨哪個狗娘養的？”

“哪個狗娘養的在這兒？”

“我不想跟你吵。”克萊文傑下定了決心。“你自己都不清楚恨誰。”

“誰想毒死我，我就恨誰，”尤塞瑞恩告訴他說。

“沒人想毒死你。” “他們在我吃的東西裏下過兩次毒，是不是有這回事？一次是弗拉拉戰役，一次是博洛尼亞圍攻大戰役，他們是不是這麽幹過？”
“他們在每個人的食物裏都下過毒，”克萊文傑解釋道。

“那又有啥不同？”

“那根本不是什麽毒藥！”克萊文傑很激動地大叫道。他愈發慌亂，也就愈發加重了自己說話的語調。

尤塞瑞恩耐了性子，微笑著給克萊文傑做解釋，就他的記憶所及，有人一直想謀害他。有人喜歡他，也有人不喜歡他；不喜歡他的那些人便恨他，想盡辦法害他。他們恨他，就因為他是亞述人。但是，他對克菜文傑說，他們別想碰他一下，因為他的軀體純潔，靈魂健全，體壯如牛。他們別想碰他一下，因為他是泰山，曼德雷克，霹靂火戈登。他是比爾·莎士比亞。他是該隱，尤利西斯，漂泊的荷蘭水手。他是所多瑪的羅得，憂傷的黛特，樹林裏夜鶯群中的斯威尼。他是神奇人物Z ──247，他是──

“瘋子！”克萊文傑打斷他的話，銳聲叫喊，“你是個十足的瘋子！”
“與眾不同，我的的確確是個非同尋常、長了三頭六臂的了不起的人物。我是個真正的奇人。” “超人？”克萊文傑嚷道，“超人？”

“奇人，”尤塞瑞恩糾正道。
“嘿，夥計們，別爭啦。”內特利很是尷尬地懇求著。

“大夥兒都在瞧著咱們。”
“你這個瘋子！”克萊文傑憤怒地叫著，兩眼充滿了淚水。”你得了耶和華症候群。”

“我想人人都是拿山牛。”
克萊文傑突然中斷了自己的慷慨陳詞，表情疑惑。“誰是拿山牛？”

“哪個拿山牛？”尤塞瑞恩故作無知地問道。
克萊文傑乖覺地避開了這個圈套。“你覺得人人都是耶和華。你跟瑞斯考尼科夫沒什麽不同。”

“誰？”

“─是,瑞斯考尼科夫，他──”

“瑞斯考尼科夫！”

“─他─我說的是實話一那人以為自己能找出一個用斧頭砍死個老太婆的合法性。”

“沒有比用斧頭更好的？”

“是的，殺了人，再替自己找個借口，是的─是用斧頭砍死的！我有事實可以證明，讓你心服口服。”克萊文傑呼吸急促地一一列數了尤塞瑞恩的種種症狀：無緣無故地把周圍的人當成瘋子；想用機槍掃射殺死陌生人的強迫心理；顛倒時空，編造回憶；憑空猜疑別人記恨他，一直密謀著害他。

但尤塞瑞恩知道自己並沒有錯，因為他很清楚自己從沒錯過，正象他曾解釋給克萊文傑的那樣，放眼四周，到處是瘋子，在這瘋子充斥的世界裏，像他自己這樣理智而有教養的年輕人唯一能做的就是保持自己的觀點。他必須這樣，因為他明白他的生命危在旦夕。

尤塞瑞恩出院歸隊，無論見著誰，總會警惕地上下打量人家一番。米洛不在，去了士麥那收獲無花果。米洛不在的日子裏，食堂照舊平穩運營。醫院和中隊駐地之間那條崎嶇蜿蜒的道路，象條斷裂的吊襪帶。救護車沿那條路顛簸前行，坐在駕駛室裏的尤塞瑞恩聞到了辣羊肉的撲鼻香味，頓時食欲大起。午餐是烤羊肉串，炭火上方，串在炙叉上的一塊塊大而美味的羊肉，被烤得魔鬼般地滋滋作響。串羊肉烤前用一種秘方配製的鹵汁浸泡了七十二小時，那秘方是米洛從黎凡特的一個刁滑奸商那裏竊取來的。作為主菜肴，羊肉串與伊朗白米飯和蘆筍尖帕爾馬幹酪先上，接著上的便是櫻桃甜點，然後是一杯杯熱氣騰騰，摻和了本尼迪克汀甜酒和白蘭地的鮮咖啡。午餐的菜肴由熟練的意大利侍者一道接一道地端上來，擺在鋪著織花台布的餐桌上。這些侍者，是由德·科弗利少校從歐洲大陸誘拐來並交給米洛的。

在米洛的食堂裏，尤塞瑞恩狼吞虎咽地，吃到覺得肚子快要脹破了方才罷休。然後，他癱塌地倒在坐椅上， 一動不動地發呆犯傻，嘴裏還含著一層薄薄的殘菜渣。中隊的軍官們誰也不曾象這樣如此大飽口福過。尤塞瑞恩正思忖著這一切是否劃得來。可就在這時，他打了嗝，想到了一件事了：他們一直想殺他。於是，他發狂似地衝出食堂，去找丹尼卡醫生，請求他讓自己解甲歸田。他找到了正坐在帳篷外的一隻高凳上曬太陽的丹尼卡醫生。

“五十次，”丹尼卡醫生搖著頭說，“上校要求飛滿五十次。”

“可我隻飛了四十四次！”

丹尼卡醫生無動於衷。這家夥長得像隻鳥，老是愁眉苦臉的。那張刮刀臉，上寬下尖，修刮得光溜溜的，像隻梳洗得很幹淨的耗子。

“五十次，”他又搖了搖頭，說了一遍。“上校要求飛滿五十次。”

第二章 Chapter 2 CHAPTER 2: CLEVINGER

Summary

Yossarian lives in a tent along with his roommate Orr. Orr is described as "a grinning pygmy with pilotós wings." He is very enterprising and has equipped the tent with a fireplace, running water and a cement floor. In the next tent lives Havermeyer. He shoots tiny field mice every night.

McWatt and Nately have a tent close by. McWatt is a "crazy" pilot who flies his plane as low as possible over Yossarianós tent to frighten him. Nately is in love with a Roman prostitute. Another officer, Appleby believes in God, Motherhood, and the American way of life. Yossarian hates Appleby.

Yossarian is now out of hospital. Before he had entered the hospital, Yossarian had told Clevinger that some people were trying to kill him (Yossarian), but that he had no idea who they were. Yossarian believes that they will not succeed in killing him because he is a hero: "a Tarzan, Mandrake, Flash Gordon." Clevinger tells Yossarian that he is crazy.

Yossarian meets Doc Daneeka and asks to be taken off combat duty and sent home. Daneeka tells him that he must complete fifty missions in order to be sent home as Cathcart has raised the required number. Yossarian has only completed forty-four.

Analysis

One of the aspects of Heller's style is a disjointed logic familiar to viewers of comic routines popular during World War II, such as the Marx Brothers' dialogues or Abbott and Costello's "Who's on First?" An early example is the exchange between Yossarian and Clevinger in Chapter 2. Yossarian complains, "They're trying to kill me." "Who's they?" asks Clevinger. "Who, specifically, do you think is trying to murder you?" Yossarian answers, "Every one of them." The dialogue continues:

"Every one of whom?"

"Every one of whom do you think?"

"I haven't any idea."

"Then how do you know they aren't?"

Part of Yossarian's problem is that he quite justifiably, quite sanely thinks that the enemy gunners shooting at his plane are trying to kill him! He takes it personally. Clevinger, who is very bright but a conformist, accepts the madness of war as reasonable.

Other characters introduced in these chapters are of varying importance. The Texan is a very pleasant, very ignorant bigot who maintains that "people of means ù decent folk ù should be given more votes than drifters, whores, criminals, degenerates, atheists, and indecent folk." Yossarian can't stand him. After ten days, the Texan's disgusting charm has cleared the ward, sending Yossarian back to his tent in the squadron. Chaplain Tappman is briefly introduced as one of Yossarian's favorites; we'll hear much more from him as the novel develops. Dunbar is one of Yossarian's best friends. Dunbar has a theory that he can extend his life by exposing himself to as much boredom as possible, thus making time seem to pass more slowly.

Perhaps representing the anonymity of the individual in the institutional military, the "soldier in white" is especially important to the grave tone in the background of the opening chapters. The enigmatic soldier in white was smuggled into the ward in the middle of the night and is "encased from head to toe in plaster and gauze." The soldier's four limbs are pinioned in air by lead weights. No one knows for sure if the soldier is black or white, male or female, or even if there is a body inside the casing. The closest anyone ever comes to seeing the actual soldier is a frayed black hole over its mouth. The soldier in white is fed intravenously from a jar hanging above its casing; the soldier's urine drips through a tube into another jar, on the floor. When the feeding jar is empty, it is simply switched with the collecting jar so that the soldier apparently is "fed" its own urine. After Nurse Cramer's thermometer registers no temperature from the soldier in white, she declares the soldier dead. Yossarian and Dunbar accuse the bigoted Texan of murdering the soldier because the soldier is black; the Texan denies it, pointing out a historical fact: the Army was still segregated in 1944, and black soldiers would be in a different ward. Within the convoluted logic of the novel, in which cause and effect get confused, it is actually Nurse Cramer who has "murdered" the soldier; if she had not taken its temperature, the soldier would not have been declared dead.

Notes

We are introduced to some of Yossarianós fellow soldiers. They appear grotesque in character. Hellerós characters are drawn almost to the point of caricature. We can remember some of the characters by the unique things they habitually do: Havermeyer shoots tiny field mice at night, and McWatt loves to fly his plane as low as possible.

Yossarian hates Appleby because Appleby believes in the American system, and Yossarian no longer does. Yossarian deserves a rest, yet Cathcart keeps raising the required number of missions to bolster his own status. of America. Yossarian knows democracy does not exist within the armed forces and throughout the novel he will fight for his rights as a soldier.

There is evidence that Yossarian is beginning to lose his sanity when he says that everybody is trying to kill him. But it is also Hellerós way of exposing the utter indifference of the administrative officers, and the low morale of the fighting men. Yossarian believes that his commanding officer is trying to kill him by sending him on more missions.