zt:一封給我兒子的信

一封給我兒子的信

Dear Seth,

You’re only three years old, and at this point in your life you can't read, much less understand what I’m going to try to tell you in this letter. But I've been thinking a lot about the life that you have ahead of you, about my life so far as I reflect on what I've learned, and about my role as a dad in trying to prepare you for the trials that you will face in the coming years.

You won't be able to understand this letter today, but someday, when you're ready, I hope you will find some wisdom and value in what I share with you.

You are young, and life has yet to take its toll on you, to throw disappointments and heartaches and loneliness and struggles and pain into your path. You have not been worn down yet by long hours of thankless work, by the slings and arrows of everyday life.

For this, be thankful. You are at a wonderful stage of life. You have many wonderful stages of life still to come, but they are not without their costs and perils.

I hope to help you along your path by sharing some of the best of what I've learned. As with any advice, take it with a grain of salt. What works for me might not work for you.

Life Can Be Cruel

There will be people in your life who won't be very nice. They'll tease you because you're different, or for no good reason. They might try to bully you or hurt you.

There's not much you can do about these people except to learn to deal with them, and learn to choose friends who are kind to you, who actually care about you, who make you feel good about yourself. When you find friends like this, hold on to them, treasure them, spend time with them, be kind to them, love them.

There will be times when you are met with disappointment instead of success. Life won't always turn out the way you want. This is just another thing you'll have to learn to deal with. But instead of letting these things get you down, push on. Accept disappointment and learn to persevere, to pursue your dreams despite pitfalls. Learn to turn negatives into positives, and you'll do much better in life.

You will also face heartbreak and abandonment by those you love. I hope you don't have to face this too much, but it happens. Again, not much you can do but to heal, and to move on with your life. Let these pains become stepping stones to better things in life, and learn to use them to make you stronger.

But Be Open to life Anyway

Yes, you'll find cruelty and suffering in your journey through life … but don't let that close you to new things. Don't retreat from life, don't hide or wall yourself off. Be open to new things, new experiences, new people.

You might get your heart broken 10 times, but find the most wonderful woman the 11th time. If you shut yourself off from love, you'll miss out on that woman, and the happiest times of your life.

You might get teased and bullied and hurt by people you meet … and then after meeting dozens of jerks, find a true friend. If you close yourself off to new people, and don't open your heart to them, you'll avoid pain … but also lose out on meeting some incredible people, who will be there during the toughest times of your life and create some of the best times of your life.

You will fail many times but if you allow that to stop you from trying, you will miss out on the amazing feeling of success once you reach new heights with your accomplishments. Failure is a stepping stone to success.

Life Isn't a Competition

You will meet many people who will try to outdo you, in school, in college, at work. They'll try to have nicer cars, bigger houses, nicer clothes, cooler gadgets. To them, life is a competition — they have to do better than their peers to be happy.

Here's a secret: Life isn't a competition. It's a journey. If you spend that journey always trying to impress others, to outdo others, you’re wasting your journey. Instead, learn to enjoy the journey. Make it a journey of Happiness, of constant learning, of continual improvement, of love.

Don't worry about having a nicer car or house or anything material, or even a better-paying job. None of that matters a whit, and none of it will make you happier. You'll acquire these things and then only want more. Instead, learn to be satisfied with having enough — and then use the time you would have wasted trying to earn money to buy those things … use that time doing things you love.

Find your passion, and pursue it doggedly. Don't settle for a job that pays the bills. Life is too short to waste on a job you hate.

Love Should Be Your Rule

If there's a single word you should live your life by, it should be this: Love. It might sound corny, I know … but trust me, there's no better rule in life.

Some would live by the rule of success. Their lives will be stressful, unhappy and shallow.

Others would live by the rule of selfishness — putting their needs above those of others. They will live lonely lives, and will also be unhappy.

Still others will live by the rule of righteousness — trying to show the right path, and admonishing anyone who doesn't live by that path. They are concerned with others, but in a negative way, and in the end will only have their own righteousness to live with, and that's a horrible companion.

Live your life by the rule of love. Love your spouse, your children, your parents, your friends, with all of your heart. Give to them what they need, and show them not cruelty nor disapproval nor coldness nor disappointment, but only love. Open your soul to them.

Love not only your loved ones, but your neighbors … your coworkers … strangers … your brothers and sisters in humanity. Offer anyone you meet a smile, a kind word, a kind gesture, a helping hand.

Love not only neighbors and strangers … but your enemy. The person who is cruelest to you, who has been unkind to you … love him. He is a tortured soul, and most in need of your love.

And most of all, love yourself. While others may criticize you, learn not to be so hard on yourself, to think that you’re ugly or dumb or unworthy of love … but to think instead that you are a wonderful human being, worthy of Happiness and love … and learn to love yourself for who you are.

Finally, know that I love you and always will. You are starting out on a weird , scary, daunting, but ultimately incredibly wonderful journey, and I will be there for you when I can. Godspeed.

Love, Your Dad


親愛的Seth,

你隻有三歲，在現在這個階段你還無法閱讀，更無法理解在這封信裏我要告訴你的事。我想了很多，有關於你未來所要麵對的生活，有考慮到目前為止我在生活中學會的東西，和作為一個父親我將盡可能為你未來所要麵對的考驗做好準備。

你現在還不能理解這封信，但是有一天，當你準備好的時候，我希望你能在這裏找到我所要與你分享的智慧和價值。

你現在還小，還未感受到生命的代價，生活中會有失望、煩惱、孤獨掙紮和傷痛。你還沒有因為長時間無回報的工作和日常生活中的荊棘而一蹶不振。

對於這一點，我感到很慶幸。你現在正處在一個很美好的生活階段。你生活中仍然有很多精彩的階段將要到來，但他們同樣伴隨著代價和危險。

我希望能把我人生中學會的最好的東西與你分享。對於任何建議，都應當稍加分析。那些對我有用的東西不一定適合你。

生活可能很殘酷

你生活中遇到的某些人可能不是很友善。可能因為你不一樣，或者沒有任何理由，他們會嘲笑你。他們可能會欺辱你或者傷害你。

對於這些人你沒有什麽可以做隻能學會對付他們，並且學會選擇那些對你友善，真正關心你並且讓你感覺自身良好的人做朋友。當你找到這種朋友，就應該把握住他們，珍惜他們，與他們共處，對他們友善，並且愛他們。

將來有時候你可能會遭遇失敗而不是成功。生活不可能總按你希望的方向發展。這是另一件你必須學會處理的事情。你應當推動他們向你所希望的方向發展，而不是讓他們去擺布你。接受失望並且學會堅持，即使遭遇困難也要學會追求夢想。學會把消極的轉化為積極的，這種你就能在生活中表現的更好。

你也會麵臨被你所愛的人拋棄和傷心。我不希望你不會太多的麵對這些，但是他們確實會發生。同樣，你沒什麽可作隻能慢慢治愈，並且在生活中繼續前進。讓這些傷害變成你追求更好生活的踏腳石，並且學會利用他們使你自己變得更強。

但是樂意介紹生活中的方方麵麵

是的，你將會在你人生的旅途中遭遇倒殘忍和不幸……但是不要讓那些束縛你去接觸新的事物。不要遠離生活，不要隱藏或隔離自己。讓自己去接觸一些新的事物，新的經驗和新的朋友。

你也許會傷心十次，但是卻在第十一次找到了最棒的女人。如果你封閉自己而不去愛的話，你就會失去那個女人和你生命中快樂的時光。

你也許會被你遇到的人嘲笑和欺侮……但是當你遇到一群蠢人的時候，你隨後就會找到真正的朋友。如果你封閉自己不去接觸一些不認識的人，不把你的心向他們打開的話，你將會避免受傷……你也會失去遇到一些難以置信的人，他們將會陪你度過生命中最艱難的時光和為你創造生命中最輝煌的日子。

你也許會失敗很多次但是如果你讓那些失敗阻止你去進行新的嚐試的話，你將會失去一旦你的成就到達新的高度時那種成功的美妙感覺。失敗乃成功之母。

生活不是一場競賽

你會碰到很多人，他們將要在中學、大學以及工作中試著要超過你。他們想擁有更好的車，更大的房子，更漂亮的衣服，更酷的設備。對他們來說，生活就是一場競賽—他們隻有變得比他們的同齡人更強他們才會感到快樂。

這裏有一個秘密：生活不是一場競賽。它是一個旅程。如果你在旅程中隻是花時間讓別人佩服你和超過別人，那麽你就是在浪費你的旅程。相反的，你應該學會享受旅程。把它當作一場一次快樂的，不斷學習的，不停進步的和愛的旅程。

不要為擁有更好的汽車、房子或者任何物質的條件，甚至是一份高薪的工作而煩惱。它們一點都不值得，並卻它們也沒法讓你變得更快樂。當你獲得這些東西以後你隻會想獲得更多。相反的，應該學會滿足於自己所擁有的東西—然後用那些你原本準備賺錢買那些東西的時間……用那些時間去做一些你喜歡的事情。

尋找你的興趣，並且持之以恒的追求它。不要為了一份高薪而去工作。生命太短暫不應該把它浪費在自己不喜歡的工作上。

愛應該是你生活中的法則

如果用一個詞來形容你應該如何生活的話，那麽它就是這個：愛。我知道，它也許聽起來很老套……但是相信我，生活中沒有更好的規則了。

有些人也許會把成功當作生活中的準則。他們的生活將會有很大的壓力，不快樂並且膚淺的。

其他人也許會以自私為準則—把他們自身的需要淩駕於其他人之上。他們將會生活的很孤獨並且也同樣不會快樂。

同樣還要一些人以公正為準則—試圖為其他人引領正確的道路，並且會警告那些沒有按照他的道路生活的人們。他們總是關注其他人，但是卻以一種消極的方式，最後他們隻能在生活中於公正為伍，這是一個可怕的指南。

你的生活應該以愛為準則。把你全部的愛給你的伴侶，你的孩子，你的父母，你的朋友。給予他們所需要的，並且給予他們的不是殘酷，不是反對，不是失望，而隻是愛。把你的心向他們敞開。

不僅僅隻愛你所愛的人，以仁愛的心去愛你的鄰居，你的工作夥伴，以及陌生人還有你的兄弟姐妹。給你所遇見的人一個微笑，一句友善的話，一個友好的手勢，以及幫助。

不僅僅愛你的鄰居和陌生人也包括你的敵人。那個對你最殘酷，對你不友好的人，也請你去愛他。他的靈魂正受到扭曲的，所以他也最需要你的愛。

最重要的是要愛你自己。當其他人批評你的時候，學會不要對自己苛刻，不要認為自己很醜或者很蠢或者不值得被愛……而是認為自己是一個不錯的人，值得擁有快樂和愛……並且學會為了自己去愛自己。

最後，你要知道我愛你並且永遠都是。你將要開始一個無法預測的，可怕的，令人畏縮的，但最終卻非常美好的旅程，我將會盡我可能的在你身邊。希望你一路平安。

愛你的爸爸