Numbness

During the day, she drives, walks, types, drinks and eats. The number of pages having been created measures her moods and the “meaningfulness" of a day. She looks at the world and the people in it, but her gaze is unfocused and lost. She goes around running errands, floating on the surfaces. A door in the mind is closed. In the dark space, “it” is put to sleep. Even when awake, it just stands there looking over her and her world. The face is blank, as if the muscles are numb. It feels no happiness, no pain. That keeps her sane. There is not a single dream for a long time, neither a sweet one nor a nightmare. No more flying in the skies, or being chased by the darkness. Daily life consumes all the energy. When there is some left, burn it in the gym or wash it away in the pool. Starvation reminds of food, and tiredness collapses into sleep. The body is nothing more than a machine to accomplish daily tasks. She smiles and laughs at what makes her smile and laugh. The feelings never touch the deep down, where no light has been let in for a pretty long time. Where is the joy, the eternal bliss? Is it just another beautiful lie? Sigh. Life.