玫瑰寫的故事(1) Frog Got Sick

Frog Got Sick

 

Frog was sick so he could not play with Duck. He felt bad. When Frog went to his mailbox, there was a letter from Duck.

 

The letter said,

 

"Dear Frog,

 

I hope you feel good. I just brought jump ropes to play.

 

From Your Friend,

 

Duck."

 

Frog was happier than ever!

 

Just when he went home, Squirrel came and gave him some flowers.

 

“Well, thank you so much!” said Frog.

 

After a while when they were having tea, Dog came in with a coat and Frog tried it.

 

 “It’s just the right size.” He said.

 

Then Cat and Owl came with a cake. Everybody ran and sat at the table.

 

Wow! This was a good cake.

 

Just then Antelope came. Everyone was sorry that he missed the cake. Well, Antelope was still happy though.

 

Then Frog said to everyone,” This is the best party ever!”

 

有些地方不是很通順,句子也有點別扭，情節上有些漏洞。但是這類的童話書她看過很多，所以從情節上講，有鋪墊（一封信就讓Frog感到開心），有發展（不停地有朋友來看望他，並帶東西來），有高潮（蛋糕那裏，食物是女兒的最愛），還有一個不錯的結尾。

 

玫瑰是那種沒有耐心聽長故事，對情節的發展也不是特別感興趣的孩子。到目前為止，她的writing也就是馬馬虎虎，加上惜字如金，能省即省, 寫出這樣一個故事實在已經是超水平麵發揮了。