量子的生活呢喃
愛人，被愛，珍惜，寬待
"I will not cut for stone," Hippocratic oath裡寫道，"even for patients in whom the disease is manifest; I will leave this operation to be performed by practitioners, specialists in this art."
這就是Abraham Verghese的小說"Cutting for Stone"書名的由來，也是男主角Marion Stone的姓氏。 Marion和Shiva是出生在Addis Ababa, 埃塞俄比亞一所教會醫院的一對雙胞胎兄弟。 母親是來自印度的修女（是，沒讀錯！），父親是英國外科醫生，雙生子的出世就已經是一個禁忌和不幸--母親因難產過世，而完全對母親懷孕無知的父親受到打擊而出走，從此音訊全無。 好心的醫院同事，一對印度籍醫生夫婦收養了這兩個孩子，並且把醫術傳授給他們。 埃塞俄比亞的動盪政局對這個家庭造成一而再、再而三的沈重打擊。 但最終令這對年幼時形影不離的雙胞胎兄弟徹底決裂的卻是一同青梅竹馬長大的女傭女兒Genet。 Genet加入了Eritrean liberation movement，參與劫機恐怖事件，Marion被牽連而逃至美國。 然而隔著千山萬水，那似乎已完全斷層的過去卻又追擊而上，令兄弟、父子、情人、母子。。。不得不一一重新麵對。
作者Abraham Verghese是出生於埃塞俄比亞的印度裔醫生，如今是Stanford醫學院的教授。 這本書裡有很多醫學名詞和對手術醫藥詳細的描寫，不過Verghese的文筆相當流暢，讀起來並不會生硬牽強。 書中以大量的筆墨交匯闡述埃塞俄比亞以及印度的文化、歷史、政治、語言，第三世界貧瘠的醫藥resource、家庭成員間複雜的互動、年輕人的情竇初開、紐約貧民區醫院的細節。。。 這些不同的風情人物對我來說非常新穎；但以老公的個性，我們是永遠都不會踏上埃塞俄比亞那片土地。
很巧，正在讀這本書時，貝貝因為流感而住院，照顧她的護士小姐就是埃塞俄比亞人。 她看我讀這本書，很是驚喜地說她也有讀，還跟我聊了很久。 埃塞俄比亞對我來說並不陌生，我的大學好友就是埃國人，他爸爸是牧師，後來他也做了醫生！ 因為這本書我才第一次知道Eritrea這個國家以及背後的violent的歷史。 又那麼巧，這本書讀完不久，我就認識了第一個來自Eritrea的朋友，她父親是埃塞俄比亞的water engineer，兩邊開仗後，他們一家不得不逃到肯亞，因為他們是Eritrean，後來又作為難民逃到加拿大。 她說，Eritrea現在的政府很專政，是非洲的北朝鮮。 Eritrea和埃塞俄比亞兩邊都有很多家庭因為戰爭被生生撕裂，多年不得相見，和大陸、台灣的在開放前的情形相似。 戰爭製造了人間多少悲劇。
書裡我最喜歡的人物是Marion的養父Ghosh。 他說的這個故事特別令人感動。
“It was a tale well known to children all over Africa: Abu Kassem, a miserly Baghdad merchant, had held on to his battered, much repaired pair of slippers even though they were objects of derision. At last, even he couldn't stomach the sight of them. But his every attempt to get rid of his slippers ended in disaster: when he tossed them out of his window they landed on the head of a pregnant woman who miscarried, and Abu Kassem was thrown in jail; when he dropped them in the canal, the slippers choked off the main drain and caused flooding, and off Abu Kassem went to jail...
'One night when Tawfiq finished, another prisoner, a quiet dignified old man, said, 'Abu Kassem might as well build a special room for his slippers. Why try to lose them? He'll never escape.' The old man laughed, and he seemed happy when he said that. That night the old man died in his sleep.
We all saw it the same way. the old man was right. The slippers in the story mean that everything you see and do and touch, every seed you sow, or don't sow, becomes part of your destiny...
In order to start to get rid of your slippers, you have to admit they are yours, and if you do, then they will get rid of themselves.
Ghosh sighed. 'I hope one day you see this as clearly as I did in Kerchele. The key to your happiness is to own your slippers, own who you are, own how you look, own your family, own the talents you have, and own the ones you don't. If you keep saying your slippers aren't yours, then you'll die searching, you'll die bitter, always feeling you were promised more. Not only our actions, but also our omissions, become our destiny.”
― Abraham Verghese, Cutting for Stone
這週末我們一家去埃塞俄比亞餐館午餐。 很好玩，菜都盛在一個大草盤裡，用一種微酸的發酵餅捲著吃。 一家人都很喜歡，下次要叫朋友們一起來。
我也喜歡牆上這幅照片。
