Lessons I learned from dealing with my son

Some wise person said that our children are not actually ours, we are merely their temporary providers. No matter how much we are capable of providing,  it is never enough, no matter how little we can afford, it is often more than enough.

The number one lesson that my son taught me is for me to really listen to him and hear what he is saying. It does take a conscious effort to park my judgement momentarily while I am listening to him.  Before I learned my lesson, I used to shout from downstairs to ask him a question or command him to come down.  Most of the time, my shoutings are wasted because he is either asleep or have his headphones on. No matter how frustrated I am, he did not actually hear me. After I learned my lesson, I physically go to him room and talk to him, or tap on him at the dinner table to get his attention.

The number two lesson that he taught me is to press on even if he has promised whatever he has been asked to do. It is very like that he never did pay attention in the first place, or he simply promised to get me off his back. Eventually, the real reason for not doing he promised to do will be become apparent. For example, I asked him to look into these so called T5 colleges and see if he should apply to any. He kept on saying "yes, I will".  In the end, the deadlines came and went, he had not bothered researching any of them except MIT. MIT deferred him. 

We must have talked a lot about colleges so he can actually repeat my line. It really does not matter where you end up, it is up to you to grab opportunities and resources.  At one point, his teachers ask him to solicit our opinions. He said "I am pretty sure that my parents would say whatever 'you think it is best for you' ".  Actually, he is right, we would have said whatever he decides.