Translating Management Speak
Management Speak | Translation |
That's very interesting. | I disagree. |
I don't disagree. | I disagree. |
I don't totally disagree with you. | You may be right, but I don't care. |
You have to show some flexibility. | You have to do it whether you want to or not. |
We have an opportunity. | You have a problem. |
You obviously put a lot of work into this. | This is awful. |
In a perfect world. | Just get it working and get it out the door. |
Help me to understand. | I don't know what you're talking about, and I don't think you do either. |
You just don't understand our business. | We don't understand our business. |
You need to see the big picture. | My boss thinks it's a good idea. |
We're going to follow a strict methodology here. | We're going to do it my way. |
I didn't understand the e-mail you said you sent. Can you give me a quick summary? | I still can't figure out how to start the e-mail program. |
Cost of ownership has become a significant issue in desktop computing. | We want all of the benefits and none of the costs. |
We have to leverage our resources. | You're working weekends. |
Individual contributor. | Employee who does real work. |
Your project is on hold. | We've put a bullet in it. |
Wrong answer. | You didn't tell me what I wanted to hear. |
You needed to be more proactive. | You should have protected me from myself. |
I'd like your buy-in on this. | I want someone else to blame when this thing bombs. |
We want you to be the executive champion of this project. | I want to be able to blame you for my mistakes. |
We need to syndicate this decision. | We need to spread the blame if it backfires. |
We have to put on our marketing hats. | We have to put ethics aside. |
It's not possible. It's impractical. It won't work. | I don't know how to do it. |
It's a no-brainer. | It's a perfect decision for me to handle. |
I'm glad you asked me that. | Public relations has written a carefully phrased answer. |
I see you involved your peers in developing your proposal. | One person couldn't possibly come up with something this stupid. |
There are larger issues at stake. | I've made up my mind so don't bother me with the facts. |
I'll never lie to you. | The truth will change frequently. |
Our business is going through a paradigm shift. | We have no idea what we've been doing, but in the future we shall do something completely different. |
Value-added. | Expensive. |
Human Resources. | A bulk commodity, like lentils or cinder blocks. |
The upcoming reductions will benefit the vast majority of employees. | The upcoming reductions will benefit me. |
