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記錄和分享我的所聽, 所見，所感，所想。
In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 50. Be prepared, it gets a bit racy towards the end.
60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)
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As I grow in age, I value women over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
隨著年齡的增長，我越來越看重 50 歲以上的女人。這裏給大家簡單羅列幾個原因：
A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.
女人過了 50 ，絕不會深更半夜把你吵醒，問你在想什麽。她根本就懶得管你在想什麽！
If a woman over 50 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.
女人過了 50 ，如果她不樂意看球賽，她絕不會坐在一旁抱怨連天。她會做她喜歡做的事情，而這些事情遠比看球賽有趣多了。
Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. 50 後的女人體麵有加。她很少在看戲或者在外晚餐的時候大喊大叫跟你唱對台戲。當然，如果你罪有應得，而她又可以逃脫懲罰的話，她會毫不猶豫地一槍斃了你。
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
年長的女人對讚美的話一點都不吝嗇 --- 哪怕你一點都配不上她們的讚美之詞。因為她們完全理解不被人欣賞的滋味。
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50.
女人越老越懂人心思。在 50 後的女人麵前，你完全用不著嘮叨你的罪過。
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
如果你不在乎那麽一兩條皺紋, 50 後的女人要遠比那些年輕的女人性感迷人得多。
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
年長的女人總是實話實說，很少拐彎抹角。如果你本身就是個混蛋，或者你言行舉止莫名其妙，她會直截了當給你指出來。跟 50 後的女人打交道，你完全用不著猜想她對你的看法。
Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 50, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
是的，我們有各種各樣的理由來讚美 50 後的女人。遺憾的是，這種讚美得不到回報。每一個迷人，聰明，頭發梳理得一絲不苟的 50 後俏女人背後，總有那麽個穿著黃褲子，禿頭大腹的糟老頭在跟一個 22 歲的女服務員打情罵誚。
女士們, 為此我深表歉意。
For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
先生們，你們會問，“既然有免費的牛奶可以喝，我又何必買頭奶牛呢？” 說這種話你就已經過時了。現而今眼目下, 80% 的女人反對婚姻。為什麽會這樣？因為女人們明白一個道理，要想吃根香腸，完全用不著買一整頭豬回家。 
改譯得真好！多謝！
本來想忍住不說的，但你說了歡迎挑毛病，我便趁機了：
“女人越老越懂人心思。在 50 後的女人麵前，你完全用不著嘮叨你的罪過。” 是否這樣更好：“女人越老越心有靈犀。在 50 後的女人麵前，你完全用不著坦白你的罪過。”
忙裏偷閑順手來的，純為自娛自樂。有好幾處其實是經不起仔細推敲的。比方說，"well-coiffed",如果不按字麵意思來翻譯，而是根據上下文和Andy Rooney 一貫的說話風格來處理，完全可以譯為"裝扮精致". 隻是這樣一來，偏重了"雅"卻忽略了"信".
類似的地方還有一兩處，歡迎高手指正。
Makes a lot women feel better now.
要想吃根香腸，完全用不著買一整頭豬回家
---- 豬還是要買的. 它的用途不光是香腸.哈哈哈.
翻譯水平高超，讚~~
挑個小毛病，“現在而今眼目下”，當是“現而今眼目下”。
Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!