Being a Mom

I visited another WXC blog by accident when I was trying to locate mine. I was very much surprised to realize how similar our perception and experiences have been.  

On reading some of the childrearing entries on this blog, I pondered upon my own mothering experience and stumbled upon a few discoveries. 

I had never pictured myself as a mother a few years back before the kids were born unexpectedly. With those bountiful gifts from God, I started a new life full of struggles, faux pas, regrets, tears, and joys. Yes, you read it right, joys, too.   

My kids are probably no different from yours: playful, naughty, mischievous, noisy, messy, disobedient, but also beautiful, creative, loving, and healthy, except for the occasional asthma scare.  

But I am not always a good mom, not even close to the mother image I have been striving for. I am moody, quick-tempered, easily subject to physical exhaustion, which typically accelerates to my temper loss, to my immediate remorse followed by lavish apologies and their ready forgiveness. Their forgiveness is always, always without failure, coupled with genuine kisses and hugs, not the half-hearted and absent-minded type I sometimes caught myself doing.  
               
 
Yet, they still cling to me and follow me around even when I try to retreat to bathroom to indulge myself with a good book; they still comfort me when I look tired and irritable; they still hug me and hang their drawings above my computer; they still love me and bring me breakfast to bed on Mother’s Day; they still make the best cards for me on various occasions; they still regard me as someone who knows it all; they are still proud of me for being the lead teacher in the Sunday school classrooms; …, they still love me dearly and call Mommy whenever a need comes up.

They are quick to forget my mistakes and prompt to show their affections towards me.

I feel ashamed of myself!

What use would it have of all the theories, methods, strategies, principles, guidelines and knowhows that I claim to possess? What use does it have that I could consult others in matters I myself neglect to apply? What use would it have if I prioritize other things above God and them? I need to mend my old ways! 

Yet, I am grateful for my little ones!

They are not the inconveniences or stumbling blocks in the way of my personal dreams and silly ambitions. They are the integral parts of me and my life, forever! What a beautiful picture "forever" brings: there is no way they could get away from me, not in the emotional and mental sense at least; for we are bound in eternity!

They have taught me how to love! Yes, how to love in the truest sense! I thought I knew back then but it turned out that I did not. They give me the sense of wholeness and how to be unselfish. In the end, they have made me a better person by being their mom. I guess this is the way God uses to turn me around, to give me the two little angels so I could look at life and the world from fresh angles.  

Being a mom is not always easy but being a mom is the better part of all the experiences.

And the best is just around the corner with them toting behind.  

                                   

[sideperspective]

Thanks for your inspiration! You are the root cause of this lament. :=)

[夢逍遙]

You did a great job in English writing! I was almost touched to tears when I am reading it! Plus, I have a crush for the oil painting too, especially with Monet.
Keep up your great work and have another wonderful day!