2009 (179)
2010 (242)
2011 (208)
2012 (169)
2013 (161)
2014 (114)
2015 (143)
2016 (142)
2017 (91)
2018 (86)
2019 (66)
2021 (47)
2022 (47)
1 賭徒/The gambler
A gambler carried $1000 from home and went to casino. A few hours later, he came back. His wife asked him immediately: "Does that big note give birth to some children?"
"Yes, yes," the gambler took out two ten-dollar notes and said in a weeping tone, "unfortunately their mother died".
有個賭徒從家裏拿了1千美金去賭博。幾小時後，他回來了。他的妻子馬上問他：“那張大票子生孩子沒有？”
“生了，生了！”賭徒從衣袋裏掏出兩張10美元的鈔票，用哭泣的語氣說，“不幸的是，他們的母親去世了。”
2 大街上的陰涼處/Shade in the street
It was a very hot day in the middle of summer, and there was no trees along the street.
Mr. Smith closed his shop at half past five, went out into the street and walked to the bus. He was very fat. The sun shone straight down the street and in a few minutes Mr. Smith felt very hot.
A small boy came out of another shop in the street, and went after Mr. Smith. He stayed very close to him all the time. And he kicked Mr. Smith's shoes a few times. Mr. Smith looked at him angrily each time.
After the fourth time. Mr. smith stopped, turned and said to the small boy, "What are you doing here? Stop going after me like that! You're going to hurt my feet."
"I'm sorry, but don't stop me, please!" the small boy said. "It is very hot today, and there isn't any shade anywhere else in the street!"
這是夏季中一個非常炎熱的一天，大街兩邊沒有一棵樹。
史密斯先生下午五點半關閉了商店，來到大街上，向公共汽車走去。史密斯很胖，太陽火辣辣地照在大街上，不一會兒他就感到太熱了。
一個小男孩從大街上另一家商店裏出來，走在史密斯先生後麵。這個小男孩一直緊跟著他，踢了史密斯先生的鞋子好幾次。每次，史密斯都很憤怒地看他一眼。
被踢了四次後，史密斯先生停下來，轉身對這個小男孩說：“你在這裏幹什麽呀？別這樣跟著我，你會踢傷我的腳的。”
“對不起，可是請別趕我走！”小男孩說道：“今天這麽熱，大街上別的地方又沒有一點陰涼。”
3 日複一日/Day after day
A teacher was always so involved in the text being studied that he never looked up. He would call on a student for translation and explanation, and-without realizing it-he often chose the same student day after day. Out of respect, the student wouldn't point this out to him. After being called on four days in a row, a student named Goldberg asked advice from his friends. The next day when the teacher said, "Goldberg, translate and explain," Goldberg replied, "Goldberg is absent today." "All right," said the teacher. "You translate and explain."
一位老師對所講課文總是非常投入，從不抬頭。他常讓一個學生來翻譯和解釋，並且——不自覺地——他常日複一日地叫同一個學生。出於尊敬，學生並不給他指出這一點。一個叫古德伯格的學生，在被一連叫了四天之後，向他的朋友尋求建議。第二天，當這位老師說：“古德伯格，翻譯並解釋。”古德伯格回答說：“古德伯格今天不在。”“那好吧，”教師說，“那就你來翻譯並解釋。”
4 Sometimes It's Hard to Know When to Stop
An old man went to the doctor and began to pour out his problems. As the doctor asked more about what was the matter with him, the old man said, "Well Doc, after I get to the first, I'm very, very tired. After the second, I feel all in. After the third, my heart begins to pound. After the fourth, I break out in a cold sweat. And after the fifth, I'm so exhausted, I feel like I'm going to die, right then and there!"
"That's incredible," said the doctor, "but how old are you?"
"Eighty-five," the patient said. And the doctor said, "Well, at 85, why don't you stop at the first?"
The man said, "I can't stop, I live on the fifth floor!"
一個老人去看醫生，滔滔地講述他的問題。醫生進一步詢問他的症狀，他說：“醫生啊！我上第一層之後，感到非常非常累！上了第二層，覺得快不行了！到第三層，心跳加劇！到第四層，大冒冷汗！到第五層，筋疲力盡， 感覺當場就要死了！”
“真不可思議啊！”醫生說：“你今年多大歲數了？”
“八十五”，病人說。醫生說：“噢，八十五歲了！為什麽你不一開始就停下來？”
老人回答：“我不能停下來，我住在第五層樓啊！”
5 你要不要等一會/Would you care to hold?
There I was, my first day on the Job as a receptionist, handling one phone call after another like an old pro, when an employee stopped by my desk. "Have you ever done this before?" she asked. "No," I said. "I thought not. You just told that caller, 'The person you want is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'"
作為公司的前台接待員，第一天上班時，我一個接著一個地接聽電話，就象那些身經百戰的老接待員一樣。 當一個員工走過我的桌子時，她問，“你以前幹過前台的活嗎？” “沒有”，我說。“我想你就沒幹過。 你剛才跟打電話來的人說，‘你想找的人休假去了。你要不要等一會？’”
6 你把所有的魚都抓到了嗎?/Ever catch all the fish?
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed.
However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.
The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair. There were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?"
"You ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man. "Yeah," the startled man replied. The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch all the fish?"
有個男人在高速公路上超速了，因為夾雜在一群超速的車裏，他感覺安全。
然而，當他們通過一個汽車超速監視區時，他被紅外線掃描儀發現了，於是被迫停在路邊。
交警過來給了他一張罰單，得到他的簽名之後，正要離開，男人說道：“警官，我知道我超速了。但是我覺得這不公平。剛剛我周圍還有很多車開得跟我一樣快啊。為什麽隻有我得到罰單?”
“你釣過魚嗎?”警官突然問道，“當然”，吃驚的男人回答道。警官咧開嘴笑了，接著說，“你把所有的魚都抓到了?”
家家好! 嗯,胖子被小男孩利用了.是啊,家裏三個孩子,過節你一定忙極了:)
家家,新周快樂!
健康好! 現在年輕住樓房還可以每天鍛煉身體哈:)
健康,周末快樂!
問好盒子,周末快樂!
尼斯好! 絕對同意，平房適合養老:)
尼斯,周末快樂!
小小月好! 小男孩真會找陰涼.你離紫竹蕭那麽近,多好啊:)
小小月,周末快樂!節日快樂！
小小好! 是啊, 人老了還是住平房更方便:)
小小,周末快樂!
山韭菜好! 是啊,大家都超速時,也不能保證自己不拿罰單:)
山韭菜,周末快樂!感恩節快樂!
美麗好! 很高興你喜歡,感恩節快樂!
問好鬆鬆！
鬆鬆周末快樂！
水沫好! 主要是好像成習慣了:)
水沫,感恩節快樂!
給沙發上的點點上茶:)
是啊一群車超速時,需要運氣啊.小男孩太會找陰涼了. 古德伯格就是逃不掉啊:)
問好點點,感恩節快樂!