2009 (179)
2010 (242)
2011 (208)
2012 (169)
2013 (161)
2014 (114)
2015 (143)
2016 (142)
2017 (91)
2018 (86)
2019 (66)
2021 (47)
2022 (47)
1 意想不到的電話/An unexpected call
Mrs. Brown dialed her daughter's number and sang out, "Hello, darling. How are you?"
"Terrible, Mom. My back is killing me, the children are acting up, the house is a mess…and I'm expecting guest for dinner."
"Don't worry, darling. I'm coming right over. I'll feed the kids, clean up your place, and cook a dinner your guests will never forget."
"You're an angel! How is Dad?"
"Dad? Sweetheart, you know Daddy died nine years ago."
Pause. "What number are you calling? Hold on? Please!" the voice wailed. "Does this mean you are not coming over?"
布朗夫人給她女兒撥了個電話，然後高興地說：“哎，親愛的，你好嗎？”
“太糟了， 媽媽。我的腰疼得很厲害。孩子們一直在鬧，房子裏亂七八糟的，我還要為客人準備晚餐。”
“親愛的，別著急，我馬上就來。我會把孩子們喂飽，清理好房子，然後給客人們做一頓難以忘懷的晚餐。”
“你真是個救命的菩薩，爸爸怎麽樣？”
“你爸爸？親愛的，你這是怎麽啦？你爸爸九年前就死了呀？”
沉默了一會，“您是不是撥錯了電話？請別掛上，”那個聲音哀泣道，“是不是這就意味著您不會來啦？”
2 巧妙的借口/Good excuse
Police officers hear plenty of excuses from people caught parking only for the handicapped persons.
Once a policeman stopped a man for doing so. When the man was questioned if he knew the parking regulations. He answered correctly. Then the policeman further questioned why he was parking his car there.
"Oh, I injured my leg last week. The doctor said I would become disabled if I didn't get proper treatment. Now I'm experiencing what I feel like to be a disabled person."
警察抓到把車錯停到殘疾人專用車位的人時聽到了大量的借口。
一次，一個警察阻止一個人把車停在殘疾人的專用位上。當警察問他是否知道這個停車的規定時，他回答得很正確。然後警察進一步問他為什麽還把車停在那兒。
那人回答說：“哦，上星期我摔傷了腿，大夫說，如果我不很好治療，我就會變殘疾，現在我想先體驗一下做個殘疾人是什麽滋味。”
3 耐心/Patience
My friend and I were busy mending fences when my house-keeper arrived. Several times during the day, she drove out, returning 45 minutes later. Feeling curious, my friend asked her:
"Where do you keep going?"
"Some darn birds built a nest in my car bumper1!" she exclaimed. "Every two hours I have to go home because the parents are waiting to feed their young. I wish they'd hurry up and raise those kids."
我和我的朋友正在忙著修籬笆，這時候，我的管家也來了。在這一天中，她開車出去了好幾次，每次都是四十五分鍾後回來，我的朋友感到很奇怪，於是問她：
“你總去哪兒？”
“一些該死的鳥在我的汽車保險杠上出了築一個巢，”她說，“我必須每隔兩小時回一趟家，不然那些大鳥就會等在那裏喂它的小鳥，我真希望它們快點把她們的孩子喂大。”
4 老子迷路了/I am Lost
There was a man who raised a pig. He felt tired of it and gave it up. However, the pig knew the way to go home. The man did not succeed in doing so several times.
One day, the man drove a vehicle, turning many times on the way, then gave it up. Late at night, he telephoned to his family and asked: "Had the pig returned home?"
A member of his family answered: "It had." The man roared: "Let it answer the telephone. I am lost!"
某人養一豬，煩，棄之，然豬知歸路，數棄無功。
一日，其駕車轉了很多彎，然後丟棄了豬。深夜其致電家人，問：“豬歸否？”
其家人答曰：“已歸！” 其怒吼：“讓它接電話，老子迷路了！”
5 恐嚇/A threat
A commuter sitting on a subway train reading a paperback was so sprawled out in the seat that the woman next to him had very little room. When she asked if he could move a bit, he refused.
Just then, a man opposite them yelled, "Why don't you sit like a human being!"
"What are you going to do if I don't?" came the reply.
"Well, for one thing, I'll tell you how that book ends."
一位通勤的家夥四肢伸展地坐在座位上看著一本平裝書。他旁邊的女士隻有很小的空間，便要求稍微挪動一下，卻遭到了他的拒絕。
這時，坐在對麵的一位先生喊道：“你為什麽不能像人一樣坐著呢？”
“我就是不願意，看你能把我怎麽樣？”那人答道 。
“那好，隻有一個辦法了，我會告訴你這本書是怎樣結的尾。”
6 清楚的解釋/A clear explanation
Working at a theater box-office ticket window poses many challenges in dealing with people.
A disgruntled customer at a window near mine exclaimed: "No tickets? What do you mean no tickets?"
The woman waiting on him smiled sweetly. "I'm terribly sorry," she replied. "Which word didn't you understand?"
工作在劇院票房窗口在與人們打交道時會有許多挑戰。
一次，我隔壁售票口傳來了一位怏怏不快的顧客的抱怨：“沒有票啦？你說的沒票了是什麽意思？”
等候他的那位女售票員笑容可掬地回答說：“先生，實在對不起您，哪個字你不明白？”
哈哈,問好東東:)
花甲老翁好! 是,通常中國人都認為豬笨:)
花甲老翁,新周快樂!
哈哈,菲兒好,真是簡單到不能再簡單的詞了:)
菲兒,周日快樂!
是說;你真係蠢過隻豬。(隻有老闆及長輩才會用)
小小月好! 很高興你喜歡這些笑話,還把笑聲帶給他人.功勞應歸功於原創者,我隻是搬來而已:)
小小月,周末快樂！
問好曉青,周末快樂!
小小好! 看著小鳥長大是挺美的哈.這6個都不是我翻譯的,我就是在原譯者的基礎上改動了一點兒:)
小小,周末快樂!
家MM好！現在知道豬比某些人都聰明了～
家MM，周末快樂！
點點好! 我們一直認為豬笨,其實人家還是很聰明的哈.有些顧客的問題真是挑戰.不知道警察是否覺得這個理由適當,不予罰款:)
點點,周末快樂!
cxyz好! 好像大家都喜歡那個豬的:)
cxyz,周末快樂!
冬日好! 嗯,第一個中女兒真是大失所望啊,我也喜歡那個豬的:)
冬日,周末快樂!
鬆鬆的翻譯很棒，特別是那句：“老子迷路了！”，如果翻成“我迷路了!”就沒有那麽逗樂了！
謝謝鬆鬆分享，周末快樂！
鬆鬆周末愉快。
問好盒子,周末快樂!
給沙發上的水沫上茶:)
嗯,那隻豬也太聰明了~
問好水沫,周末快樂!