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2022 (47)
1 判斷失誤/Wrong judgement
The owner visits his factory and is shocked to see a man leaning against a wall, drinking coffee, "How much do you make?" he demands. “Eighty dollars a day,” is the reply. The owner hands him $80 and says, “Get out, and don't come back!"
Two minutes later the foreman comes in and asks, "Where's the delivery man who was just here?"
工廠主來到他的工廠，震驚地看到見一個人倚著牆喝咖啡。“你掙多少錢? ”他問。“80美元一天。”那人回答。廠主遞給他80美元說:“出去，不要回來了。”
兩分鍾後，工頭進來問:“剛才在這兒的送貨員哪兒去了?”
2 紋身/Tattoo
A few months after Tom and I were married during World War II, he was shipped off to Pearl Harbor. In one of his first letters, he wrote, "I'm going to have a Navy battle-ship tattooed on my chest.”
Instead of pleading, I answered simply, “Send me a picture of your tattoo, and I'll have a duplicate put on my chest. "
We have been married for 51 years. Neither of us has a tattoo.
二戰期間湯姆和我剛結婚幾個月後，他就被派到珍珠港。在他早期的一封信中，他寫道:“我想把海軍戰艦紋刻在胸前。”
我沒有懇求，隻是簡單地回了信:“給我寄一張你紋身的照片來，然後我也在我的胸前仿紋一個。”
我們現在已結婚51年了，誰也沒紋過身。
3 責怪/Blame
As I sat with my pet in the veterinarian's waiting room, a woman and her old English sheepdog emerged from one of the examining rooms. The dog sat obediently while the woman asked for her bill. When told it was $80, she looked down at the dog and said, "Did you hear that? Get a job."
當我帶著我的寵物坐在獸醫的侯診室裏，一位婦女和她英國古代牧羊犬從一間診室裏走出來。當主人在問診費時，那隻狗乖乖地坐著。當主人被告知診資是80美元時，那婦女低頭看著狗說:“你聽到了嗎? 找份工作吧。”
圖片來自網絡
4 分別對待/Treat differently
On a visit to the United States, Gorbachev met a Russian who had immigrated to this country. "What do you do for a living here?" the Soviet leader asked him.
"My brother, my sister and I work in a big factory.”
"How do these capitalist bosses treat you?"
"Just fine, "answered the man. “In fact, if you are walking home from work, the boss picks you up in his big car and drives you to your door. Another time, he treats you to a dinner in an expensive restaurant. Sometimes he takes you home for the weekend and buys you presents.”
Gorbachev was stunned. “How often does this happen?"
"Well, to me, actually never. But to my sister, several times. "
在一次出訪美國期間，戈爾巴喬夫遇見了一位移居美國的俄國人。“你在這兒靠什麽謀生?”蘇聯的領導問他。
“我哥、我妹和我在一個大工廠工作.”
“那兒的資本家對你們怎樣?”
“還不錯，”那人回答，“事實上，如果你下班步行回家，老板會讓你搭坐他的大車，把你送到家。另一次，他請你去昂貴的餐廳吃晚餐。有時候，他邀你到他家去度周末，還送給你禮物。”
戈爾巴喬夫很吃驚:“這種事多久有一回?”
“嗯，對我嘛，還沒有一次呢。但對我妹妹，已經有好幾次了。”
5 後知之明/Hindsight
Several years ago, the Connecticut state polices were required to put chains on their tires after the first snowfall. One officer, failing to do so, found himself in a skid that flipped the car over onto its roof.
A woman called the police station to report the accident. In reply to inquire on the officer's condition, she said, "Well, he seems okay, but you'd better get someone out here really quick. He's standing on the car, putting chains on the tires!”
幾年前，康涅狄格州的警察被要求在下第一場雪後，把車胎上加上鐵鏈。有一個警官沒這麽做，結果他在一次車子打滑中翻了車，車底朝上。
一位婦女給警察局打電話報告了這個事玫。在回答該警官的狀況的問訊時，她說:“他看上去沒事兒，不過，你們最好趕快派人來，他正站在車上給輪胎套鏈子呢！"
6 我還多一個/I've got one more
I was asked in by the company commander to explain why a report was in error. "Sir," I said, "you have to understand that I have four idiots working for me."
He looked up from his desk and said, "You are lucky. I have five idiots working for me.”
連長要求我解釋為什麽一份報告出現錯誤。“先生，”我說:“你必須了解，我有四個白癡為我工作.”
他從桌上抬起頭說:“你夠幸運的，我有五個白癡為我工作！”
石美眉好! 嗯, 第二個所用的方法真是不錯:)
石美眉, 周中快樂!
水沫好! 第二個中的妻子很聰明哈:)
水沫,新周快樂!
問好小小, 太喜歡你家的菜園子了,要啥有啥,美不勝收又碩果累累的:)
小小,周末快樂!
謝謝鬆鬆分享：））
婉妮好! 是啊,一周一周地,時間過得真快!
婉妮,周末快樂!
問好菲兒,周末快樂!
謝謝花甲老翁喜歡,周末快樂!
哈哈,默默好! 男女有別啊:)
默默,周末快樂!
曉青好!謝謝你喜歡,周末快樂!
周末愉快！
點點肯定沒讓你家的小狗去找工作~ 那個妻子很聰明啊,硬勸還不一定有效. 錢啊,有時很會惹事: )
點點,周末快樂!