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周末一笑: 服藥時間(轉載)

(2016-03-25 15:58:11) 下一個

1 服藥時間/Medicine Time

The vet prescribed daily tablets for our geriatric cat, Tigger, and after several battles my husband devised a way to give her the medication. It involved wrapping Tigger in a towel, trapping her between his knees, forcing her mouth open and depositing the pill on the back of her tongue.

David was proud of his resourcefulness until one hectic session when he lost control of both cat and medicine. Tigger leaped out of his grasp, paused to inspect the tablet—which had rolled across the floor—and then ate it.

獸醫為我們老年的貓跳跳虎開了每天吃的藥片，經過幾次搏鬥，我丈夫想出了一個辦法給她用藥。它包括用毛巾包住跳跳虎，把她控製在他的膝蓋之間，迫使她張開嘴，把藥片放在她的舌頭的後部。

大衛為他的足智多謀感到驕傲，直到一個忙亂的時刻，他對貓和藥片都失去了控製。跳跳虎從他的掌握中跳走，停下來發現了滾過地板的藥片，然後把它吃掉了。

2 省錢/Money Saver

Each morning at 5:30, I take my Lhasa Apso, Maxwell, for a walk. He has the bad habit of picking up bits of paper or other trash along the way. When he does, I command him to “drop it,” and he usually complies.

One morning, though, he absolutely refused to drop a piece of litter. So I told him to “sit” and then approached him to see what his treasure was. It was a $10 bill.

每天早晨5:30，我帶著我的拉薩犬麥克斯韋去散步。他有一個一路上撿紙片或其他垃圾的壞習慣。當他這樣做時，我命令他“扔掉”，它通常聽從我的。

然而一天早晨，他堅決拒絕扔掉一片垃圾。於是我命令他“坐下”，然後走近他，看看他有什麽寶貝了。那是一張10美元的鈔票。

3 歌劇演唱家/Opera Singer

Our cat, Figaro, comes home between 10 or 11 at night to eat. If he’s late, I turn on the carport light and call him until he appears.

One day my daughter was explaining to a friend where we live, and her friend said, "Is that anywhere near the house where the woman stands on her steps late at night and sings opera?"

我們的貓費加羅報，在晚上10到11之間的回家吃飯。如果他回來晚了，我就打開車庫的燈叫他，直到他出現。

有一天我的女兒跟她的朋友解釋我們住的地方，她的朋友說：“是在那個房子附近的地方在深夜有個婦女站在台階上唱京劇嗎？”

4 驚慌的狗/Scared Dog

A friend of mine is a deputy with the sheriff’s department canine division. One evening, the deputy was dispatched to the scene of a possible burglary, where he discovered the back door of a building ajar. He let the dog out of his patrol car and commanded it to enter and seek.

Jumping from the back seat, the dog headed for the building. After lunging through the doorway, the dog froze and backed out. My friend was puzzled until he investigated further. Then he noticed the sign on the building: “Veterinarian’s Office.”

我的一個朋友是治安部門的警犬部的警官。一天晚上，警官被派往一個可能的入室盜竊的現場，在那裏他發現了一個建築物半掩的後門。他讓狗從他的巡邏車出來，並命令它進去搜查。

從後座躍起，狗進了建築。在他從門口衝刺後，狗愣住了並退了出去。我的朋友很困惑，直到他進一步調查。然後，他注意到建築物上的牌子：“獸醫辦公室。”

5 驚慌的狗/Scared Dog

My sister-in-law, a truck driver, had decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, "He doesn’t like men."

Perfect, my sister-in-law thought, and took the dog.

Then one day she was approached by two men in a parking lot, and she watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react. Soon it became clear that the trainer wasn’t kidding. As the men got closer, the dog ran under the nearest car.

我的嫂子，一名卡車司機，決定找一條狗做護衛。當她考察了一個可能的候選狗時，訓練員告訴她，“他不喜歡男人。”

太好了，我嫂子想，就要了那條狗。

後來有一天在停車場有兩名男子向她走近，她看她的保鏢犬會如何反應。很快就清楚了訓練員不是在開玩笑。當男子走近時，狗跑到了最近的一輛車的底下。

6 狗的職責/Dog Duties

Once while riding the bus to work, I noticed a man at a stop enjoying a cup of coffee. As we approached the stop, he finished drinking and set the cup on the ground. This negligence surprised me, since it seemed to be a good ceramic cup.

Days later I saw the same man again drinking his coffee at the bus stop. Once again, he placed the cup on the grass before boarding. When the bus pulled away, I looked back in time to see a dog carefully carrying the cup in his mouth as he headed for home.

有一次乘坐公共汽車上班時，我注意到一個人在車站享受著一杯咖啡。當我們走近車站時，他喝完把杯子放在地上。這個疏忽讓我感到驚訝，因為看上去那是一個很不錯的陶瓷杯。

幾天後，我看到了同樣的人在公共汽車站再次喝著咖啡。再一次，他在上車前把杯子放在草地上。當公交車開走，我及時地回頭看到一隻狗仔細地用嘴叼住杯子回家去了。

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