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周末一笑: 粗心的教授(轉載)

(2016-02-26 16:48:27) 下一個

1 粗心的教授/Careless Professor

Professor Fielding has always been careless. His wife asked him to throw away a bag of garbage in the waste bin outside the building on his way to work, he muddled up and carried it on the subway, and went to the lab, and finally carried it back home.

His wife was shocked: "What are you carrying?" Fielding said: "Oh, I forgot to throw away garbage. "

His wife took it and took a look, even more surprised: "Where did you bring back a pack of ham?"

費爾丁教授向來粗心大意。妻子讓他把一包垃圾在他上班的路上順便丟到樓外廢物箱裏，他卻糊塗地提著上了地鐵，又到了實驗室，最後又提著回了家。

妻子大吃一驚：“你提著什麽？”費爾丁說：“哎呀，垃圾忘了丟了。”

妻子拿過來一看，更加吃驚：“你從哪兒拿回一包火腿？”

2 粗心的教授/Careless Professor

A professor loses things all the time, he is either losing the glasses case or losing the cane. Especially umbrella, almost every month his wife buys him an umbrella. The professor makes up his mind secretly, he will be careful in the future. One day, the professor went out in the morning, and came back in the afternoon, he said proudly to his wife: "Hi, Dorothy, today I have not lost things, I bring back my umbrella!" Then, he showed his wife an umbrella. "Oh, look at you the careless guy, you did not bring an umbrella with you when you went out today!"

一位教授平時總是丟三忘四，不是丟了眼鏡盒，就是丟了手杖。特別是雨傘，幾乎每個月他夫人都得替他買一把。教授為此暗暗地下定決心，以後要多加小心。一天，教授上午出去，下午回來，得意洋洋地對夫人說：“哎，陶樂賽，今天我可沒丟東西，我把傘給帶回來啦！”說著，他亮出一把傘。“唉呀，瞧你這粗心人，你今天沒有帶傘出去呀！”

3 措辭不同/Different Wording

The Cardinal was speeding, a policeman rode a motorcycle and stopped him. Bishop asked: "I drive too fast?” Police: "No, Your Grace. You did not drive too fast; you flied too slowly. "

紅衣主教駕車飛弛，一名警察騎摩托追上把他攔住。主教問：“我的車開得太快了嗎？”警察：“不，主教大人。您的車不是開得太快，而是飛得太慢。”

4 擔心/Worry

The wife said to her husband: "Every time you go out, I will be very worried." "Honey, do not worry," the husband comforted her and said," I'll come back at any time. "" This is what I worry about. "

妻子對丈夫說：“你每次出門，我都會非常擔心。”“親愛的，別擔心，”丈夫安慰她道，“我會隨時回來的。”“這正是我所擔心的“。

5 得之不易/Hard-won

Someone invited friends to his home for dinner. A friend asked: "Are you sure your wife knows I'm going to dinner? "

"Of course. For this, she and I quarreled the whole afternoon!"

某人邀請朋友到他家吃晚飯。朋友問：“你能肯定你妻子知道我要去吃晚飯嗎？”

“當然知道。為這件事，我和她爭執了一下午！”

6 到處碰壁/Rebuffed everywhere

One man asked a lady who sat next to him in a car very politely: "Do you mind if I smoke a cigarette?” The lady said kindly to him:" No, just make yourself at home. " The man closed his cigarette box immediately, sighed and said: "I still cannot smoke!"

某君在車箱裏很有禮貌地問坐在旁邊的女士：“我在此抽隻煙妨礙您嗎？”女士善意地對他說：“不，你就像在家裏一樣好了。”此君立即收回煙盒，歎口氣說：“照樣不能抽！”

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