2009 (179)
2010 (242)
2011 (208)
2012 (169)
2013 (161)
2014 (114)
2015 (143)
2016 (142)
2017 (91)
2018 (86)
2019 (66)
2021 (47)
2022 (47)
1 馬克·吐溫的領帶/Mark Twain's Tie
Returning from a visit with Harriet Beecher Stowe one day, Mark Twain was reprimanded by his wife for having forgotten to wear a necktie.
Some time later a messenger arrived at Mrs. Stowe's door with a small package. Inside was a black necktie and a brief note: "Here is a necktie. Take it out and look at it. I think I stayed half an hour this morning without this necktie. At the end of that time, will you kindly return it, as it is the only one I have. Mark Twain."
一天，馬克·吐溫從斯托夫人那裏回來，妻子因為他忘記帶領帶出門而責備他。
不久，一個送信的人來到了斯托夫人家門口，還帶來了一個小包裹，裏麵裝著黑色的領帶和一張便條，“這是我的領帶，請您拿出來看一看。我想今天早上我在您家停留的半小時，沒有帶領帶。時間到了，能請您歸還領帶嗎，因為我僅此一條。馬克·吐溫。”
2 裏根的雄心/Reagan's Ambition
Reagan is the oldest president in the history of the United States. He has been on many occasions cleverly counterattacked his opponents' attack against his age. After making it known to the public that "he has Alzheimer's disease and his days are numbered", he, once again, suddenly appeared at a Republican campaign rally. He said:"At present, I'm afraid I can't run for the presidency in 1996, but this does not rule out the possibility of my running for presidency in 2000." Then, all stood up and applauded, even including his old enemies.
裏根是美國曆史上年齡最大的總統，他曾多次巧妙地回擊了對手對他年齡的攻擊。他在公布了自已“已得老年癡呆症，來日無多”後，突然又一次出現在一個共和黨的競選集會上，並說:“就目前而言，我恐怕不能競選1996年的總統了，但這並不排除我參加2000年總統競選的可能性.”這時，全場起立，甚至連他的宿敵也為之鼓掌。
3 以生命來報答/Repay with Life
The English poet and satirist, Richard Savage, was once living in London in great poverty. In order to earn money, he had written the story of his life, but not many copies of the book had been sold in the shops, and Savage was living from hand to mouth. As a result of his lack of food, he became very ill, but after a time, owing to the skill of the doctor who had looked after him, he got well again. After a week or two the doctor sent a bill to Savage for his visits, but poor Savage hadn't any money and couldn't pay it. The doctor waited for another month and sent the bill again, but still no money came. After several weeks he sent it to him again asking for his money. In the end he came to Savage's house and asked him for payment, saying to Savage, "You know you owe your life to me and I expected some gratitude from you."
"I agree," said Savage, "that I owe my life to you, and to prove to you that I am not ungrateful for your work I will give my life to you." With these words he handed to him two volumes entitled The life of Richard Savage.
英國詩人、諷刺作家理查德·薩維奇一度在倫敦過著貧困潦倒的生活，為了賺錢，他曾著書講述有關他生平的故事，但是這部書在書店裏沒賣出幾本，薩維奇過著朝不保夕的日子。因為缺乏食物，他病得很厲害。後來，由於照看他的醫生醫術高明，他又恢複了健康。過了一兩個星期，醫生給薩維奇送來了一張討要診費的賬單，但是貧窮的薩維奇沒有錢來償付。醫生等了一個月後又送來了賬單，但仍然未索回分文。幾個星期後，他又送來賬單要錢。最後，醫生本人來到了薩維奇的家中，對他說:“你知道你欠我一條命，而我希望你能有所報答。”
“是的，”薩維奇說，“我是欠你一條命，為了向你證明我對你的診治並非不感激，我將把我的生命獻給你。”說著這番話，薩維奇遞給醫生兩卷書，名叫《理查德薩維奇的一生》。
4 很呆/pretty dumb
Phoebe is reading to Joey some comment on his acting.
Phoebe: Um, the off-Broadway play people said you were "pretty but dumb."
Joey: Oh.
Phoebe: Oh no wait, I'm sorry, that's "pretty dumb".
菲比正在給喬伊讀一則有關他表演的評論。
菲比: 那些小劇場的人說你“帥但是呆”。
喬伊: 哦。
菲比: 哦，不，等等，抱歉。他們是說“很呆”。
5 不沉的船/The Boat Never Sink
Sandy: And what's the one kind of boat that can never ever sink?
Joey: What kind?
Sandy: A friendship.
桑迪:什麽樣的船絕不會沉沒?
喬伊:哪種呢?
桑迪:朋友之船(友誼)。
6 愛因斯坦和他的司機/Einstein and His Chauffeur
Einstein was on his way to another lecture, and he felt exhausted. His chauffeur offered an idea. "Hey, Sir, I've heard your speech many times, I bet I could deliver it and give you the night off."
"Sounds great," the scientist said.
When they got to the auditorium, Einstein put on the chauffeur's hat and settled in the back row. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered the speech. Afterward he asked if there were any questions.
One professor said "Yes". Then he launched into a highly technical question.
The chauffeur was panic-stricken for a moment but quickly recovered. "That's an easy one,” he replied, "so easy, I'm going to let my chauffeur answer it."
愛因斯坦在去另一個講座的路上，倍感疲倦，他的司機出了個主意:“嗨，先生，您的講座我已經聽過許多次了。我打賭我能作這個講座，讓您休息一個晚上。”
“那太好了。”科學家說。
到了禮堂，愛因斯坦戴上了司機的帽子，坐在了後排。而司機走上講台，開始講演。講演結束後，他問聽眾是否有什麽問題。
一個教授說有，並提出了一個高深的學術問題。
司機一時被問懵了，但很快就鎮定下來。“這很容易，”他說，“太容易了，我要讓我的司機來回答。”
梅子好！嗯，他可真是雄心勃勃,太幽默了：）
梅子,新周快樂!
雪花好！嗯，聰明的司機啊：）
雪花，周末快樂!
水沫好! 很高興你選了三個:)
水沫,周末快樂!
青荷好! 嗯,他真可愛:)
青荷, 周末快樂!
哈哈,菲兒, 周末快樂!何喜之有啊?~~~
點點好! 嗯,喜歡名人的幽默.
謝謝點點一直喜歡周末一笑,周末快樂!
美眉好! 我也很喜歡這兩個:)
美眉,周末快樂!
默默好！有些名人很幽默, 友誼之船不會沉：）
默默，周末快樂!
小婷好! 嗯,friendship will never ever sink:)
小婷,周末快樂!
花甲老翁好!是的,友誼長存:)
花甲老翁,周末快樂!
東東好！是啊，近朱者赤啊：）
東東，周末快樂!
小小好! 嗯,和你的友誼之船不會沉:) 牛人的司機也牛啊~
小小, 周末快樂!
鬆鬆周末愉快！
謝謝鬆鬆分享，祝鬆鬆 周末快樂！
鬆鬆周末快樂！
不愧是愛因斯坦的司機，也是聰明過人~~~~~~
鬆鬆周末快樂！
第一個,馬克.吐溫去別人家做客時沒帶領帶,受到妻子的責備,然後他就讓人專門把領帶送到他做客的人家,並留個條子說,看過領帶後請再還回來,因為他隻有這一個領帶.
第三個,那個詩人沒有錢還給醫生,也承認他欠醫生一條命,就把他寫的自己的故事的書《理查德薩維奇的一生》送給了醫生.
哈哈,問好冬日,周末快樂!