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1 胡蘿卜
Patient: You say carrot is good for the eyes. Is that true?
Doctor: Certainly. Have you ever seen rabbits wearing glasses?
患者:“你說過吃胡蘿卜對視力有幫助，是真的嗎?”
醫生:“當然，你見過戴眼鏡的兔子嗎?”
2 偉大的科學家
Teacher: Can you tell me anything about the great scientists of the 18th century?
Pupil: Yes, sir, I can. They are all dead.
老師:“誰能告訴我有關十八世紀的偉大科學家的一些事情呢?
學生:“老師，我可以，他們都死了。”
3 太快與太慢
A man traveling at 130 miles per hour on the road was stopped by traffic police.
“Sorry, officer.” Said the driver, “Was I driving too fast?”
“No, sir. You were flying too slow.”
一個男人把車開到了每小時130英裏的時速。警察把他攔了下來。
“對不起，警官，”司機說，“我是不是開得太快了?”
“沒有，先生，你隻是飛得太慢了。”
4 洗臉
Teacher: David, why don’t you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning?
David: What was it?
Teacher: Eggs.
David: Wrong, teacher. That was yesterday.
老師:“戴維，你為什麽不洗洗你的臉呢?我都看得出來你今天一早上吃的是什麽。”
戴維:“我吃什麽了呢?”
老師:“雞蛋。”
戴維:“不對，老師，那是我昨天吃的。”
5 嶄新的奔馳車
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!”
"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"
"No,” she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number.”
奧斯卡駕駛著自己嶄新的奔馳汽車去他最喜愛的體育用品商店。他把車停在了外麵，到店裏去找經常為他服務的簡小姐看一些資料。簡是一位非常漂亮的金發女郎。奧斯卡走進店裏受到了她熱烈的歡迎。奧斯卡提出想先自己轉轉，再找簡幫忙。簡同意了。5分鍾後，簡跑過來大叫著:“奧斯卡，奧斯卡!我剛才看到一個人把你的新奔馳車開走了!”
“我的天啊!你沒叫住他嗎?”
“沒有，”簡說:“我的方法更好，我記下了他的車牌號。”
6 導盲犬
A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog. A passerby who'd seen everything remarked: "That’s extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.”
"Not really, ”came the reply. "I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.”
一個盲人和他的導盲犬站在十字路口上正等著過馬路。這時那個導盲犬把腿抬了起來開始小便，毫無疑問盲人的褲子濕了。但是這個盲人卻平靜地從口袋裏拿出了一塊餅幹給狗吃。一個過路人對此很不解地說道:“你的脾氣真好，那條狗都做了這樣的事情你還拿餅幹給它。”
“不是這樣的。”盲人回答說:“我隻是想知道它的嘴在哪裏，這樣我就可以踢它的屁股。”
謝謝fengdaming欣賞,新周快樂!
哈哈,點點好! 喜歡你的每個點評:)
點點,新周快樂!
問好美眉,周末快樂!
哈哈,和燕子握手,我也見過紅眼睛的兔子:)
燕子,獨立日快樂!
happy 4th of July^_^
喚喚好! 也祝你周末開心快樂!
haha,Rebecca,you are right:"A carrot a day keeps the glasses away."~~~
Rebecca,have a nice 4th of July weekend!
erdong好！獨立日開心快樂!
哈哈，李哼好！節日快樂!
曉青好！節日快樂!
桐兒好！你開心，我高興：）
獨立日快樂!
問好花甲老翁，周末快樂!
雪花好！我也跟著小小長見識了，看到了戴眼鏡的兔子～～～
雪花，周末快樂!
哈哈，小小就是見多識廣，連戴眼鏡的兔子都看到過～～～
小小，節日快樂!
哈哈，家ＭＭ好！獨立日開心快樂!
Songsong, have a great 4th of July weekend.
鬆鬆節日快樂！
獨立日快樂!
http://pic.wenwen.soso.com/p/20110221/20110221215944-1862799536.jpg
鬆鬆節日快樂！