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1 補洞
A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible,” she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”
“Forget it,” consoled her husband. “Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”
“Yes,” said the woman, cheering up. "And it’s lucky you have. I used them to patch the hole.”
丈夫下班回到家裏，發現自己的新娘心緒煩亂。“我心裏太難受了，”她說。“我在給你熨西裝時把褲子的臀部燒了個大洞。”
“沒事兒，”丈夫安慰她說。“你忘了我這套衣服有兩條褲子。”
“是的，”妻子高興地說，“幸虧你還有一條，我後來就用它來補了這個洞了。”
2 我丈夫剛進來
The couple seated in restaurant seemed to be having a wonderful time. But as the woman glanced away from the table，their waiter suddenly rushed over.
The couple seated in restaurant seemed to be having a wonderful time. But as the woman glanced away from the table，their waiter suddenly rushed over.
“Madam look,”he said.“Your husband just slid under the table.”
“No,he didn't,”she replied.“My husband just came in the door.”
在飯館裏坐著一對夫婦，他們看上去非常高興。但是當那女子向旁邊瞥了一眼時，服務員馬上跑了過來。
“夫人，您瞧,” 他說,“您丈夫滑到桌子底下去了。”
“不，他沒有,” 她回答,“我丈夫剛從門外進來。”
3 人們什麽時候說話最少？
Student A: When do people talk least?
Student B: In February.
Student A: Why?
Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
學生甲: 人們在什麽時候說話最少?
學生乙: 在二月。
學生甲: 為什麽呢?
學生乙: 因為二月是一年中最短的一個月。
4 老鼠吹牛
Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.
The first says, "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!"
The second says, "Well I'm so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart!"
Then the third rat gets up and says, "Later guys, I'm off home to harass the cat."
三隻老鼠坐在酒吧聊天吹噓他們的勇敢和厲害。
第一個說，“我很厲害，有一次我吃了整袋的老鼠藥！”
第二個說，“好吧，我很厲害，有一次我被老鼠夾子夾住了，我把它咬碎了！”
那麽第三老鼠站起來說，“夥計一會兒，我離開家去騷擾貓。”
5 第一次到美國
Two guys immigrate to America. On their first day off the boat, they are wandering around New York City seeing the sights. As lunch time approaches, they decide they are hungry. They then come up to a street vendor selling hot dogs.
One says to the other in a shocked tone, "My God. Do they eat dogs in America?"
"I don't know!" says the other, equally appalled.
"Well," says the first, "we're going to be Americans, so we must do as they do."
They approach the vendor bravely, "Two hot dogs, please."
The vendor hands them their food in a pair of paper sacks. The two immigrants sit on a park bench to eat their lunch.
One looks inside his sack, hesitates and turns to his partner and says, "Uh, which part of the dog did you get?"
兩個人移民到美國。在他們到的第一天，下了船，他們在紐約市遊蕩觀光。午餐時間接近，他們決定他們是餓了。然後，他們走向一個擺地攤賣熱狗的小販。
其中一個用震驚的語氣說，“我的上帝。在美國難道他們吃狗？”
“我不知道！”另一個說，同樣感到震驚。
“嗯，”第一個人說，“我們要成為美國人，所以我們必須做的跟他們一樣。”
他們勇敢地走近小販，“請來兩個熱狗。”
小商販把食物放在一對紙袋中遞給他們。這兩個移民坐在公園的長凳上吃午飯。
一個看了看口袋裏麵的東西，猶豫地轉向他的夥伴說：“呃，你得到的是狗的哪一部分？”
6 隻聽到一半
John:"Doctor, lately I hear only half as good as I suppose to".
Doctor:"I don't understand that, but let’s try a small test. Say after me: eighty-eight".
John: "Fourty-four."
約翰：“醫生，最近我聽到的隻是應該聽到的一半”。
醫生：“我不明白，但讓我們做個小測試，跟著我說：88”。
約翰：“44.”
哈哈,問好美眉!
哈哈,雪花,他一定以為他得到的是狗尾巴:)
問好雪花!
菲兒好! 有些人是做事不認真,還好他們丟了扣子後把扣子全部換掉.
菲兒,周末快樂!
問好家MM,周末快樂!
才哥又給人家減半了,如果這樣還價,還是很厲害的哦~
問好才哥,周末快樂!
特高興好!小心點兒,別摔著~~~
特高興,周末快樂!
謝謝fengdaming點評,周末快樂!
笑倒。
點點好!是啊,毀掉一條好褲子去修補一條壞褲子的確讓人不可思議.偷情通常都沒有好結果,提心吊膽的還有損健康.熱狗,是怎樣的狗呢~~~
點點,周末快樂!
哈哈,尼斯,沒準老鼠知道是假藥才敢吃的~~~
尼斯,周末快樂!
君子好! 周末快樂!
小小好! 不知道是否有這樣笨的人~~~
小小,周末快樂!
You are right, Yanzi. We all learn things through life:)
Yanzi, have a nice summer!
鬆鬆，周末愉快！
鬆鬆周末快樂！
每周鬆鬆的周末一笑總給大家帶來快樂，謝謝鬆鬆，周末快樂！
happy summer^_^
Thanks Michelle for your comments:)
Have a nice weekend!
Yes,Rebecca,she's so unbelievable~~~
Rebecca, have a nice weekend!
Enjoy your weekend, Song Song!