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1 糟糕的上班日 Bad Day at Work
A man joined a big multinational company as a trainee. On his first day at work, he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, "Get me a coffee quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded, "You fool, you have dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you are talking to, dumb?"
"No," replied the trainee.
"You fool, I am the General Manager of the company."
The man shouted back immediately, "And do you know who you are talking to, you fool?"
"No, " replied the General Manager.
"Good!”, replied the trainee and then put down the phone.
有一名男子加入一家大型跨國公司接受訓練。
在他上班的第一天，他撥電話到餐飲室，並且對著電話大聲喊:“快點給我送杯咖啡過來！”
電話另外一端的聲音卻說:“你這個笨蛋，你撥錯分機了！蠢貨，你知道你在跟誰說話嗎？”
這名受訓的人回答說，“不知道。”
“你這個笨蛋，我是公司的總經理。”
這名男子立刻大聲吼回去：“你這個笨蛋，你知道你在跟誰說話嗎？…”
總經理回答：“不知道。”
這名受訓的人回答說：“很好！” 然後就把電話給掛了。
2 接聽熨鬥 Answer the Iron
A guy walks into his office, and both of his ears are all bandaged up.
The boss says, "What happened to your ears?"
He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang! I accidentally answered the iron. "
The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?"
He says, “Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor!"
有一個人走進他的辦公室，他的兩個耳朵都包紮了繃帶。
老板說：“你的耳朵怎麽啦？”
他說：“昨天電話響的時候，我正在用熨鬥燙襯衫。我竟然無意間就把熨鬥拿來接聽。”
老板說：“嗯，好吧，那解釋了一個耳朵，可是你的另一個耳朵又是怎麽一回事呀？”
他說：“嗯，哎呀！我得打電給醫生嘛！”
3 聰明的目擊人 A Smart Witness
A witness to an automobile accident was testifying.
The lawyer asked him, "Did you actually see the accident?"
The witness: "Yes, sir."
The lawyer: "How far away were you when the accident happened?"
The witness: "Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches."
The lawyer (thinking he'd trap the witness):"Well, sir, will you please tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance?"
The witness: "Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it. I knew some annoying lawyer would ask me that silly question."
有一名車禍目擊證人正在出庭作證。
律師問他：“你確實看見了這起車禍嗎？”
目擊證人說：“是的， 長官."
律師說：“當車禍發生的時候，你在多遠的地方？”
目擊證人說：“三十一英尺，六又四分之一英寸。”
這名律師說（心想他已經抓住了這個目擊證人的把柄）：“那好吧，先生，請你告訴陪審團，你怎麽知道確實是那個距離昵？”
目擊證人說:“因為當車禍發生的時候，我就拿出了卷尺測量過了。我早知道會有一個令人傷腦筋的律師問我那個蠢問題 。”
4 律師的兒子 Lawyer's Son
The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, so he went to law school. He graduated with honors, and then went home to join his father's firm.
At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father's office, and said, "Father, father, in one day I broke the car accident case that you have been working on for ten years!"
His father responded: "You idiot, our company lived on the funding of that case for ten years!"
律師的兒子想要繼承他老爸的衣缽，因此他就去讀法學院。他以優異成績畢業，然後返家加入他老爸的公司，就在他上班的第一天要結柬之際，他急忙地衝進他老爸的辦公室說：“老爸，老爸，我一天就破了你辦了十年的車禍案件！”
他的老爸回答說：“你這個小白癡，我們公司就是依靠那個案件的資金才生存了十年呀！”
5 纏住不放 Persistence
Returning from a golf outing, my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. “Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?”
“Uncle Richie and I don't play golf to win,” my husband hedged. “We just play to have fun.”
Undaunted, Sara said, “Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?”
丈夫打完高爾夫球回來，我們四歲的女兒莎拉在門口迎了上去。“爸爸，誰贏了高爾夫球比賽，是你還是理查叔叔？”
“我和理查叔叔打高爾夫球不是為贏，”丈夫推諉說。“我們打球隻是為了好玩而已。”
莎拉毫不氣餒，又問：“那麽，爸爸，誰覺得更好玩呢？”
6 激動的話 Excited Remarks
Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I'm going to have one of those someday, his dad's response always was “Not as long as I'm alive.”
One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, “Look at that! Look at that! I'm getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.”
我五歲的兒子對摩托車有強烈的愛好。隻要看見一輛摩托車，他就會高興得哇哇直叫，並激動地說：“瞧這輛！瞧這輛！我總有一天也要有一輛。” 他爸爸的回答老是：“隻要我活著，你就別想有這玩藝兒。”
一天我們的兒子跟他的小朋友在說話，有一輛摩托車開了過去。他興奮的指著摩托車叫道: “瞧這輛！瞧這輛！等我爸一死我就要有這樣一輛摩托車了。”
(From internet)
嗯, 閑閑客, 急中生智:)
閑閑客, 周末快樂!
哈哈,問好葉子,周末快樂!
謝謝鬆鬆給我們帶來的快樂！
問好家MM,新周快樂!
希望白開水天天快樂!
canhe很會總結:)
問好!
哈哈,還是雪花聰明:)
覺得紐約美眉在職場一定做得非常好:)
問好美眉!
那麽機智的反問，他一定會在職場混得很好！
周末快樂！
欣賞fengdaming的眼光:)
fengdaming,周末快樂!
小小好! 估計小小打電話從來都很溫柔,從沒有大喊的時候:)
小小,周末快樂!
這幾段都太逗了^o^，第一個的小夥子也太厲害了，打電話不論對誰都應該客氣一點撒！
後麵幾個孩子都很純真可愛：））
鬆鬆周末快樂！
娃娃樂好! 童言無忌,小孩子的興趣真不可以太過壓抑:)
娃娃樂,周末快樂!
點點好! 那位打錯電話的還算聰明,查清沒有暴露身份~
點點,周末快樂!