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1 也許這個名字管用 Maybe This Name Works
During the college speech course I taught, I spoke about a Chinese student who, after moving to the United States, decided she wanted an English name to honor her new home. "She chose the name Patience," I told the class, "because she wanted to be reminded to be patient. Every time someone called her name, the message was reinforced." I asked the students what names they would select for themselves. After considering the question, one young man raised his hand and said, "Rich."
我在大學教演講課程時，我談到一位中國學生，她在來到美國後想起一個英文名來紀念她的新家。她選擇了耐心這個名字，我跟課堂上的學生說，因為她想別人提醒她要有耐心。每一次有人喊她名字的時候，這個信息就會被強調一次。我問我的學生他們想給自己取一個什麽樣的名字，他們琢磨了一會，一個男生說“發財”。
2 繼續開我的卡車 Keep Driving My Truck
With several years of Army National Guard duty under his belt, my roommate applied for officer training. But his lifelong dreams were dashed after he failed the eye exam.
"That's too bad," I sympathized. "Does that mean you now have to quit the Guard entirely?"
"No, I get to keep my old job," he said. "Driving trucks."
依仗著在陸軍國家護衛隊服役的幾年經驗，我的室友提交了參加軍官培訓的申請。但他的畢生夢想在視力檢測未通過後破滅。
“太糟了”，我同情地說。“這是不是意味著你完全不能再在護衛隊工作了？”
“這倒不是，我還是幹我的原來的工作”，他說。“開卡車”。
3 我輸了 I Lost
It was at a five o’clock tea. A young man came to the hostess to apologize for his lateness．
“So good of you to come, Mr. Jones, and where is your brother？”
“You see we're very busy in the office and only one of us could comeso we tossed up for it.”
“How nice! And so original， too！ And you won？”
“No,” said the young man absently, “I lost.”
五點鍾的一個下午茶，一個年輕人因為遲到向主人致歉。
“您能來可真好，瓊斯先生，您的兄弟呢？”
“您知道我們在辦公室裏有非常忙，我們倆隻能來一個，所以就擲幣來決定由誰來。”
“太有意思了！還那麽有獨創性！那您贏了？”
“不，”年輕人心不在焉地說, “我輸了。”
4 我還贏著呢 I'm still winning
There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine. Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change. She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up. "Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?" She looked at him and indignantly replied: "Well Duhhh! I'm still winning."
有一個年輕漂亮的金發女郎恰好在一個商人到達自動售水機來解渴之前先到了那裏。她打開她的錢包，放入機器50美分，研究了一下機器，按了健怡可樂選擇，取代她放入的錢一瓶健怡可樂掉了出來。然後她在她的錢包再次掏出一塊錢並將其插入到機器中。認真研究了一下機器，她按下可口可樂的按鈕，一瓶可口可樂和50美分的找錢掉了出來。她立即拿出50美分放入機器，研究了一會兒，按下了激浪按鈕。一瓶激浪掉了出來。當她又把手伸進錢包，已耐心等待了好幾分鍾的商人現在開口了。 “對不起小姐，你完了沒有？”她看著他，憤怒地說：“嗨！我還贏著呢。”
5 我可以站在任何一方 I'll Take either Side
A lawyer was walking down the street and saw an auto accident. He rushed over, started handing out business cards, and said, "I saw the whole thing. I'll take either side."
一個律師走在街上時看到了一場車禍。他衝了過來，開始分發名片，並說：“我看到了整個事情，我可以為任何一方辯護。”
6 額外的分數 Extra Points
After some years of medical practice, a gynecologist decided it is time for a career change, and so enrolled in a course on auto mechanics. The final exam, which was worth 200 points, consisted of disassembling and reassembling an engine. The doctor passed the test with a score of 300. Puzzled by this, the doctor asked the instructor for an explanation. The instructor said, "Well, you're quite an outstanding student. I gave you 100 points for correctly disassembling the engine and 100 points for correctly reassembling it, and I gave you an extra 100 points for doing it all through the exhaust pipe."
若幹年後的醫療工作後，婦科醫生決定是時候轉行了，於是報名參加了一門汽車修理的課程。期末考試滿分200分，包括拆卸和重新組裝發動機。這位醫生通過測試並得到了300分。帶著不解醫生請求老師解釋。教官說：“嗯，你是一個相當優秀的學生，100分是正確拆卸發動機，100分是重組它，我給你一個額外的100分，是你在排氣管裏完成了這一切。”
(from internet)
雪花好！
祝雪花新周開心快樂!
canhe好！
祝canhe天天快樂！
問好fengdaming! #3很有意思,原來他們對下午茶不感興趣：）
fengdaming，新周快樂!
娃娃樂好! 特別有個性的名字還真是不容易讓人忘:)
娃娃樂,周末快樂!
問好家MM:)
祝天天開心快樂!
橄欖樹好! 周末快樂!
哈哈,幸福的圓圓,好吃的太多了~~~
紐約美眉穿舊T-shirt也高雅，胸前的油漬是畫油畫時沾上滴。不像我，胸前的油漬是啃豬腳時沾上滴。。。
點點好! 司機開車有問題可真是個隱患啊.
點點,周末快樂!
嗯,其實我也覺得夠吃夠住就好.錢是身外之物,生帶不來,死帶不去的:)
可還是覺得發財挺好,哈哈哈~~~
我很少查看悄悄話的，謝謝指正！改過來了。
人缺什麽就想什麽，就寫什麽。不指望財源滾滾，夠吃夠住就好。。。
謝謝小鬆的祝福！
哈哈,圓圓,我家沙發多,趕快再給你和紐約美眉搬幾個來:)
圓圓,周末快樂!
小小好! 要不你也注冊一個發財什麽的馬甲~~~
律師口才好,有才就能贏啊:)
小小,周末快樂!
我不僅矮談窄論，還穿個舊T-shirt，胸前還有一塊大油漬。
哈哈,紐約美眉好! 希望你的馬甲注冊成功~~~
早就讀了你的"私房錢"還給你發了一個QQH,不過你好像一直就沒讀.若新的馬甲繼續讓你財源滾滾的話,你的私房錢豈不是要多得放不下了~~~
紐約美眉,周末快樂!
看來律師隻要有錢就能把黑說成白，打官司沒有贏家，除了律師！
謝謝鬆鬆分享，周末快樂！
你，你占了俺的沙發，竟還東倒西歪？
看來你對考試胸有成竿啦。白替你擔心。。。。
還是在小鬆MM這裏好。前兩天，我在樓下花教主家被冤枉。。。。不過現在雨過天晴啦。。。。
趕快給沙發上的花生妹妹上茶:)
花生妹妹,周末快樂!