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1 給哪一個回電話 Which One to Call Back
After I took office as mayor of a small Kentucky city, an unfortunate incident precipitated some hateful phone calls to my home. One night while I was conducting a city-council meeting, my wife answered the phone.
"Is this the home of Bert May, the mayor?" a woman's voice asked.
When my wife explained that I was at a meeting and would return her call if she left a name and number, the caller said. "That's confidential. This is his girlfriend. "
My wife, knowing this was all a ruse, calmly responded, "Lady, if you don't leave your name and number, he won't know which one to call back."
我上任為肯塔基州的一個小城的市長後，發生了一件不幸的事，從而招致了一些可恨的電話打到我家裏。一天夜裏，我還在主持市政會議，我妻子接到了一個電話。
“是伯特·麥因、市長的家嗎？”一個女人的聲音問道。
我妻子向她解釋說我還在開會，如果她留下姓名和電話號碼的話，我會給她回話。通話人馬上說：“這個保密。我是他的女朋友。”
我妻子知道這完全是欺詐。她鎮靜地回答說：“女士，如果你不留下姓名和號碼的話，他就不會知道給哪一個回話。”
2 地圖的引力 The Attraction of the Map
Mr. Smith taught English at a school .At the beginning of his lesson, he liked to have one of his students give a report on any subject. When it was Jack's turn, he told his audience about his elder brother who was a local worker. But during the report, his eyes were staring at the world map on the wall all the time. Mr. Smith knew that Jack didn't look at the audience because he was nervous. He said to Jack jokingly, "We can see you miss your brother very much. But is he 0. K. now in South America?"
史密斯先生在一所學校教英語。在每次課的開始，他喜歡叫一個學生上講台作講演，題材不限。輪到傑克作講演時，他向聽眾講述了他的哥哥。他的哥哥就在當地工作。但在講述過程中，傑克的眼睛一直盯著牆上的世界地圖。史密斯先生知道傑克不敢看聽眾是因為緊張。他開玩笑似地對傑克說：“我們能看出你非常想念你的哥哥，他現在在南美還好嗎？”
3 放在地板上 I’ll Keep it on My Floor
My 16-year-old son, Jeff, is a boy any parent would be proud of --until you see the floor of his room, covered with layers of clothes, magazines and sports equipment.
Recently I accompanied Jeff to the credit union where he opened up his first bank account. While the credit officer was processing the paper work, I told Jeff he needed a safe, accessible place to store his passbook. "I know, Mom," he replied. "I' 11 keep it on my floor.”
我的兒子傑弗，十六歲。他是一個令父母感到自豪的孩子，隻是你別去看他房間的地板，那上麵總是堆滿了一層層的衣服、雜誌及運動器材。
不久前，我帶傑弗到信用聯社去開他自己的賬戶，這是他第一次開銀行賬戶。當信用社職員在辦理手續的時候，我便告訴傑弗說他需要一個安全可靠的地方來保存密碼本。“我知道，媽媽，”他回答說，“我會在地板上找到地方的。”
4 成年人的抉擇 An Adult Decision
The year before my son turned 18, he constantly pleaded to be allowed to a tattoo, but I refused to sign permission for one. He argued that soon he would be a man and he should be able to make adult decisions. Sure enough, a few days after his 18th birthday, he come home with a tattoo. Although I was not happy about this, I was curious to see what symbol of masculinity he had chosen. There, on his shoulder, was a two-inch image of Mickey Mouse.
我兒子十八歲前的那一年，他常常向我提出準許他文身。但我拒絕允許他這樣做。他爭辯說他不久就要成為男子漢了，並說他應該能夠作出成年人的抉擇了。果然，十八歲生日的幾天後，他文了身，回到家裏。盡管我對此感到不高興，但出於好奇，我想看看他選擇了什麽雄性象征物。原來是他在肩上文了一個兩英寸長的米老鼠像。
5 哪一級 What Grade
Kristin, my 17-year-old niece, had just gotten her driver's license and offered to take her mom's car to the gas station. She pulled up to the full-service pumps, and the attendant asked, "What grade, miss?"
"Eleventh!" Kristin replied.
我的十七歲的侄女，科裏斯蒂，剛剛拿到駕照。她主動提出去加油站給她媽媽的車加油。她把車開到晝夜服務的加油泵前。服務員問她：“（加油加到）哪一級，小姐？”
“十一（年）級！”科裏斯蒂回答說。
6 她是左撇子 She Is Left-handed
A married couple, both avid golfers, were discussing the future one night. "Honey," the wife said, "if I were to die and you were to remarry, would you two live in this house?"
"I suppose so-it's paid for."
"How about our car?" continued the woman. "Would the two of you keep that?"
"I suppose so-it's paid for.
"What about golf clubs? Would you let her use them too?"
"Heck, no," the husband blurted out. "She's left-handed.
一對已婚夫婦都熱心於打高爾夫球。一天夜裏，他們在談論將來。“親愛的，”妻子說，“如果我死了，而你再婚，你們兩個會住在這個房子裏嗎？”
“我想是的----這是理所當然的。”
“那我們的汽車呢？”婦人繼續問道，“你們兩個會留著這輛車嗎？”
“我想是的----這是理所當然的。”
“那我們的球棒呢？你也會讓她用嗎？”
“見鬼，不，”丈夫脫口而出，“她是左撇子。”
(from Internet)
閑閑客,新年快樂!
點點好! 就是,紙裏總是包不住火.要想人不知,除非己莫為:)
點點,新年快樂!
美麗好! 周末,節日快樂!
雪花好! 周末,節日快樂!
鬆鬆周末愉快!
問好白開水! 祝你也新年快樂!
fengdaming好!
謝謝欣賞,節日快樂!
nycman好! 同意你說的, 電話那頭該是何等無趣:)
nycman, 新年快樂!
貝卡好! 很高興你喜歡,也欣賞你的總結,言簡意賅:)
貝卡,節日快樂!
－－一句“他就不會知道給哪一個回話。”，看似雲淡風輕，可想象電話另一端的樣子。哈哈。。。
新年快樂！
1. A smart and calm wife;
2. A wonderful English teacher;
3. A typical teenager's room;
4. An adult decision--a two-inch image of Mickey Mouse;
5. Which grade--a nice pun;
6. ...