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1 漂亮的結婚禮物 The Nice Wedding Gift
We attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. Because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher. Apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: Thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. We look forward to using it soon.
我們參加了一個熟人的兒子的婚禮。由於我們都不認識那個年輕人和他的新娘,所以我們決定送給他們一個實用的全家禮----一個滅火器。很明顯,這對新人大批量製作了他們的感謝信,因為我們收到了一張卡片,上麵寫著:“非常感謝您的漂亮的結婚禮物,我們期待著不久就用到它。”
2 給我捎杯牛奶 Bring me a glass of milk
At 2 a. m. Mrs. Culkin was convinced that she had heard a prowler in the living-room. Tiptoe down-stairs, she told her husband, "Don' t turn on the lights. Sneak up him before he knows what's happening."
Dutifully Mr. Culkin put on his robe. Just as he reached the bedroom door, his wife added, "And when you come back, bring me a glass of milk."
半夜兩點,科爾肯太太確信聽到客廳有賊,便對丈夫說:“別開燈,躡手躡腳下樓,別讓賊發覺,悄悄靠近他。”
科爾肯先生披上外套,責無旁貸地去捉賊。剛走到臥室門口,他妻子又補充說:“回來時給我捎杯牛奶。”
3 多少錢? How Much Is It?
It was winter, and Mrs. Hermann wanted to do a lot of shopping, so she waited until it was Saturday, when her husband was free, and she took him to the shops with her to pay for everything and to carry her parcels. They went to a lot of shops, and Mrs. Hermann bought a lot of things. She often stopped and said, Look, Joe! Isn't that beautiful!
He then answered, All right, dear, how much is it? And took his money out to pay for it.
It was dark when they came out of the last shop, and Mr. Hermann was tired and thinking about other things, like a nice drink by the side of a warm fire at home. Suddenly his wife looked up at the sky and said, look at that beautiful moon, Joe!
Without stopping, Mr. Hermann answered, All right, dear, how much is it?
嚴冬來臨,荷曼太太想采購一大批東西,所以她就一直等到周六丈夫有空的時候,她拖著他去商店付錢連帶拎包裹。他們去了許多商店,荷曼太太買了一大堆東西。她經常停下腳步說道:“看,喬伊!那個多漂亮!”
他總是回答:“好吧!親愛的,多少錢?”然後掏錢去付款。
他們從最後一家商店出來的時候夜幕已經降臨,荷曼先生已精疲力盡了。他心裏想著其它事情,比如在家裏暖暖的火爐邊呷口美酒。突然他太太仰望天空,說道:“看那月亮多美,喬伊!”
荷曼先生不加思索答道:“好吧,親愛的,多少錢?”
4 事故現場 Scene of the accident
A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but, amazingly, neither of the clerics is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."
The priest replies, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God."
The rabbi continues, "And look at this. Here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Morgen David wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then he hands the bottle to the priest. The priest agrees, takes a few big swigs, and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap on, and hands it back to the priest.
The priest asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The rabbi replies, "No...I think I'll wait for the police."
拉比和一位牧師撞了車，而且非常嚴重。這兩輛車是全毀了，但是，令人驚訝的是，兩位神職人員都沒受傷。之後，他們爬出來他們的汽車，拉比看到牧師的衣領說，“你是一個牧師，我是一個拉比。隻要看看我們的汽車，什麽也留不下了，但我們沒有受傷。這一定是神的一個旨意。上帝一定意味著我們應該相遇並成為朋友，並一起和平地度過我們的餘生。“
神父回答說：“我完全同意你的觀點。這一定是上帝的旨意。”
拉比繼續說，“再看看這個。這是另一個奇跡。我的車是完全毀了，但是這瓶摩根大衛酒沒有破。當然，上帝希望我們喝這酒，慶祝我們的福氣。”
然後，他把手中的酒瓶給了牧師。牧師同意，喝了幾大口，然後把手中的瓶子遞回拉比。拉比拿著瓶子，立即將瓶蓋蓋上，並把它遞回給教士。
牧師問：“你不喝點嗎？”
拉比回答說：“不......我想我要等警察。”
5 Never Mind 沒關係
A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, even the brake pedal!" he cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time "Never mind," the drunk said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time "Never mind," the drunk said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
一個醉漢打電話給警察局,報告小偷光顧了他的車,“他們偷走了儀表盤、方向盤,甚至連刹車腳板都偷走了。”
然而在警察還沒有開始調查時,電話又一次響了起來,“沒事了”,醉漢打著嗝說,“我不小心坐到了後坐上了。”
6 給麥克機會 Give Mike a chance
It was graduation night at Cox High School and they were about halfway through the ceremony when the principal said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a problem, Mike is a few credits short and won't be able to graduate tonight."
Well now, Mike was the starting right guard for Cox's football team, and when the student body heard that he wasn't going to graduate, they all jumped up and started to chant, "Give Mike another chance, give Mike another chance!"
Pat Dye and the principal had a quick conference and afterward, the principal announced that they have decided to give Mike another chance.
Mike is told that he will be given a "one question" math test and if he passes, he can graduate.
The question is, "What is 2 plus 3?" Mike thinks for about 20 minutes and finally says, "I have it! The answer is 5!"
There is complete silence in the auditorium for a couple of seconds and then the entire Cox High School football team jumps up and begins to chant, "Give Mike one more chance. Give Mike one more chance!"
Well now, Mike was the starting right guard for Cox's football team, and when the student body heard that he wasn't going to graduate, they all jumped up and started to chant, "Give Mike another chance, give Mike another chance!"
Pat Dye and the principal had a quick conference and afterward, the principal announced that they have decided to give Mike another chance.
Mike is told that he will be given a "one question" math test and if he passes, he can graduate.
The question is, "What is 2 plus 3?" Mike thinks for about 20 minutes and finally says, "I have it! The answer is 5!"
There is complete silence in the auditorium for a couple of seconds and then the entire Cox High School football team jumps up and begins to chant, "Give Mike one more chance. Give Mike one more chance!"
在考克斯高中畢業晚會上，當儀式進行了大約一半時，校長說，“女士們，先生們，我們有一個問題，麥克差了幾個學分，將不能在今晚畢業。”
現在麥克是考克斯的橄欖球隊的右後衛，當學生們聽說他不能畢業，他們都跳了起來，開始高喊，“給麥克一次機會，給麥克一次機會！”
帕特戴和校長有一個短暫的會議之後，校長宣布，他們已經決定給麥克一次機會。
麥克被告知，他將被問到一道數學題，如果他答對了，他就可以畢業。
現在的問題是，“2+ 3是幾？”麥克想了大約20分鍾，然後說，“我知道啦！是5！”
在觀眾席完全沉默了幾秒鍾後，整個考克斯高中橄欖球隊跳了起來，開始齊聲喊道，“再給麥克一次機會，再給麥克一次機會！”
(from Internet)
很高興閑閑客喜歡:)
閑閑客, 新周快樂!
晴好! 祝晴新的一周快樂!
謝謝Fuer喜歡:)
歡迎來玩,新周快樂!
君子好! 好在那位還沒醉到家,還知道坐在了後座上:)
君子, 新周快樂!
shenglinli好! 很高興你喜歡:)
歡迎來玩, 新周快樂!
南南好! 醉酒的若要駕車可真是讓警察抓個正著:)
南南, 新周快樂!
鬆鬆周末愉快！
謝謝， 周末愉快！
哈哈,家mm, 這個誰也沒有想到:)
家mm, 周末快樂!
問好惜福! 很喜歡你的博文:)
惜福, 周末快樂!
雪花好! 你的朋友一定會笑:)
雪花,周末快樂!
很高興路人喜歡,周末快樂!
謝謝rancho2008仔細閱讀並訂正.我已經改過了.
再次感謝,周末快樂!
neither of the clerics is hurt沒有一個神職人員受到傷害
應該是：兩位神職人員都沒受傷。
we should meet and be friends 我們應該滿足並成為朋友
應該是“我們應該相遇並成為朋友。”
貝卡好! 一聽到這段音樂就好像看到一對新人開始步入婚姻的殿堂:)
謝謝貝卡的喜慶分享, 周末快樂!
小小好! 同意你說的, 新娘新郎都忙暈了,顧不上細查誰送的啥了:)
小小, 周末快樂!
問好一幀! 很高興你喜歡:)
一幀, 周末快樂!
Fleix Mendelssohn的作品: Wedding March 指揮：Claudio Abbado 演奏： Berliner Philharmoniker
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Oo4z37OUEI
哈哈哈，婚禮送禮的感謝卡都成了統一回複了，可見新郎新娘婚禮期間收禮太多，都來不及細看禮物：））
祝南山鬆周末愉快！
nycman好! 你的思維總是比較深刻:)
nycman,周末快樂!
Have a great weekend!
點點好! 醉漢最後還是清醒了~敢問月亮多少錢的丈夫得有多牛啊~誰知道新人的答詞時那樣的呢:)
點點,周末快樂!