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1 希臘語 Greek
Mr. Day was a teacher at a school in a big city in the north of England. He usually went to France or Germany for a few weeks during his summer holidays，and he spoke French and German quite well.
But one year Mr. Day said to one of his friends，“I’m going to have a holiday in Athens. But I don't speak Greek, so I'll go to evening classes and have Greek lessons for a month before I go.”
He studied very hard for a month，and then his holidays began and he went to Greece.
When he came back a few weeks later，his friend said to him，“Did you have any trouble with your Greek when you were in Athens，Dick?"
"No，I didn’t have any trouble with it, "answered Mr. Day. But the Greeks did!”
戴先生是英格蘭北部一個大城市裏的中學教師。在暑假期間他通常到法國或德國去度幾周的假，他的法語和德語都講得相當好。
然而有一年，戴先生對他的一位朋友說:“我準備上雅典去度假。可是我不會講希臘語，所以去雅典前刻名先去夜校進修一個月的希臘語課程。”
他很用功地學了一個月後，他的假期也接著開始了，於是他就去了希臘。
幾周後，他回來了，他的朋友問他說:“迪克，你在雅典時，鍘爾的希臘語有沒有遇到困難?”
戴先生回答說:“沒有，我的希臘語用來得心應手，倒是那些希臘人遇到了麻煩。”
2 克萊頓教授 Professor Creighton
Creighton was going along a West end square when he saw a little fellow trying to reach the knocker of a large house.
"Can’t you reach up so high?" asked the professor kindly.
"No，Sir,”said the small youngster.
"Well, then, let me help you,” and the professor mounted the three steps and gave a splendid rat-tat.
The little boy glanced hastily at the gentleman of the cloth. "Come on,”he yelled，"we must both run away.”
當克萊頓教授沿著倫敦西區的一個廣場走著的時候，他看見一個小家夥正試圖抓住一所大房子的門環。
“你是不是夠不到這麽高的地方呢?”教授好意地問。
“是的，先生。”那小孩說。
“那好，讓我來幫你。”教授登上那三級台階，在門上重重扣了幾下。
那個小男孩急忙給教授遞上一個眼色。“快跑，”他喊著:“我們倆都得跑。”
3 睡前禱告 Bedtime Prayer
Julia was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God，"she said，“Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy.”
Her mother interrupted and said，"Julia，why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?”
And Julia replied，“Because that is what I put in my geography exam!”
朱麗葉在做睡前禱告。“上帝啊，”她說道，“讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。”
媽媽打斷她說:“朱麗葉，你為什麽要求上帝讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都呢?”
朱麗葉回答說:“因為我在地理考卷上是這麽寫的。”
4 五分鍾我能說什麽 What Can I Say In Five Minutes
When we got our long一distance phone bill，we found that our daughter，Cathy，had been making 60一minute calls to a boyfriend away at college.“From now on，”her father said firmly，"Your calls are limited to five minutes.”
“Dad，what can I say in five minutes”Cathy wailed.
"Call me back.” He answered.
當我們接到長途電話賬單時，發現我們的女兒凱西經常給她在外地上大學的男朋友打長達60分鍾的電話。“從現在開始，”她爸爸嚴厲地說，“你今後打電話的時間限製在五分鍾之內。”
“爸爸，五分鍾我能說什麽呀?”凱西哀號著說。
“你撥電話給我。”他回答。
5 學校成績單 A School-report
The father was reading the school-report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful as he read: "English，poor; French，weak; Mathematics，fair;”And he gave a glance of disgust at the weakling lad.
"Well，dad，”said the son，“It is not as good as it might be，but have you seen that”and he pointed to the next line，which read: “Health，excellent.”
父親在看他那滿懷希望的兒子帶回來的學習成績單，他邊看邊露出憤怒的表情:“英語，差;法語，差;數學，中。”他厭惡地瞥了一下正在發抖的兒子一眼。
“爸爸，”兒子說，“可能成績不夠理想。但您看到那一項了嗎?”他指了指下一行:“健康狀況，優。”
6 大嬰兒 The Big Baby
"You'll have to take care of the baby today," a woman told her husband. "I'm not feeling well."
"Then you must stay in bed and rest, dear." her husband said. "I'll be pleased to look after our baby."
"Thank you. I'll have a quiet day and I'll soon get better." his wife told him.
"Shall I do the shopping for you as well?" her husband asked.
She was very pleased and said, "That will help me very much. I'll give you a list of things to buy. "
She wrote out the list and gave it to him.
"You can get all these things at the supermarket," she said.
"You can put the baby in the shopping cart, then you won't have to leave him outside."
The man took the baby to the supermarket and put him in the shopping cart. Then he pushed the shopping cart along the rows of things to buy and looked for those that were on his list.
At first all was well, but then the baby began to cry.
Then he started to scream.
And scream!
And SCREAM!
"Keep calm, George, " the man said. "Don't get excited. Don't shout, George. Don't lose your temper, George.
A woman in the supermarket heard him saying these things. She walked up to him.
"I think you are wonderful," she said. "You are so patient with your little George."
"Madam," the man said, "I'm George. He's Edward.
"Madam," the man said, "I'm George. He's Edward.
“今天你得照看孩子，”女人對丈夫說，“我身體不舒服。”
“親愛的，那你呆在床上休息，”丈夫說，“我很高興照顧我們的孩子。”
“謝謝。今天我將清靜一下了，我很快就會好點的。”
“我為你去買東西，好嗎？”
她很高興地說：“這幫我很大忙呢。我給你列個要買的東西的單子。”
她列好單子，遞給他。
“在超級市場你能買到這些東西，”她說。
“你把孩子放在購物手推車裏，就不用把孩子留在外麵了。”
男人帶著孩子到超市，把他放在推車裏。然後推著車子沿著貨架走，尋找單子列出的東西。
開始一切都進行得很順利，接著孩子開始哭起來。
然後孩子開始尖聲喊叫。
尖叫。
又尖叫。
“保持鎮靜，喬治，”男人說，“不要衝動。不要喊叫，喬治。不要發脾氣，喬治。”
一個女人在超市聽到他說的這些話。她走到他跟前。
“我覺得你真不錯，“她說，”你對你的小喬治真有耐心。”
“夫人，”男人說，“我是喬治，他是愛德華。”
（from Internet)
（from Internet)
哈哈~~~
womaninhome，周末快樂！
問好wawale！不是我翻譯的，照搬的：）
問好桐兒! 許多學外語的經曆都是相似的:)
桐兒,新周快樂!
鬆鬆一周快樂。
哈哈，問好尼斯！第一個幽默讓許多人有共鳴：）
尼斯，周末快樂！
謝謝鬆鬆分享並祝親愛滴周日愉快！
問好點點！如果學外語的人知道別人聽得有麻煩了，大概就知道自己的水平有限了。小男孩讓人可憐，隻有身體過關。帶孩子真是不容易，這個爸爸是個好爸爸：）
點點，周末快樂！
哈哈，和小小一樣，我剛來美國時說英語也沒問題，就是美國人遇到了麻煩~
小小，周末快樂！
花甲老翁好！做個好父親真不容易啊：）
花甲老翁，周末快樂！
問好貝卡！看來人們早就覺得Greek不容易懂~
謝謝貝卡來訪留言，周末快樂！
謝謝鬆鬆分享，周末快樂！
這個好笑,週末快樂,好朋友.