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1 作文課The Composition Class
The students in the composition class were assigned the task of writing an essay on "The Most Beautiful Thing I Ever Saw". The student who，of all the members of the class，seemed the least sensitive to beauty, handed in his paper first with astonishing speed. It was short and to the point. He had written: "The most beautiful thing I ever saw was too beautiful for words.”
在作文課上，學生們被布置寫一篇題為“我所見到過的最美的東西”的文章。在整個班級中看起來對美最不敏感的那個學生用令人吃驚的速度第一個交了卷。這篇文章短而扼要。他寫道: “我所見到過的最美的東西美得無法用語言來表達。”
2 我是個單身漢I'm a bachelor
Jack fell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back.
"Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes," Jack thinks for a while and said "I'm a bachelor."
傑克騎車摔傷，去醫院治療。一位年輕美貌的護士拿著表格讓填。傑克填好後遞上表格。
“還有什麽漏填的?”護士問。“有！”傑克想了想說，“我是個單身漢。”
“還有什麽漏填的?”護士問。“有！”傑克想了想說，“我是個單身漢。”
3 父親的親筆簽名Father's John Hancock
Teacher: Tom, you haven't shown your parents the examine papers， have you?
Tom：Yes, I have，sir.
Teacher: But I can't find your father's John Hancock on papers at all.
Tom: Here, sir. (Showing his whipped arms to the teacher.）
老師：湯姆，你沒把你的考卷給你父母看，對嗎？
湯姆：不，老師，我給他們看了。
老師：可是我在上麵根本沒找著你父親的親筆簽名啊。
湯姆：在這裏，老師。（向老師展示手臂上的鞭傷）
4 倔強的馬A Stubborn Horse
The great novelist had gone mad, but now there seemed to be some hope for his recovery. For six months, he had been sitting at his typewriter pounding out a novel. Finally, he pronounced it completed and brought the book to his psychiatrist, who eagerly began reading it aloud:
"General Jackson leaped upon his faithful horse and yelled, 'Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap, giddyap"' The doctor thumbed through the rest of the manuscript." There's nothing here but 500 pages of giddyaps!" he exclaimed.
"Stubborn horse," explained the writer.
大作家瘋了，但現在似乎還有恢複的希望。六個月以來，他都坐在打字機旁用力地敲一部小說。終於，他宣稱書已寫好並把它拿到精神病醫生那裏。醫生急切地大聲朗讀起來：
“傑克遜將軍跨上他的忠實的馬，喊道：‘駕，駕，駕，駕……’”醫生翻了翻剩下的手稿。“五百頁紙竟全是‘駕，駕’！”他驚奇地說。
“是匹倔強的馬，”作家解釋道。
5 小小的意外A Small Surprise
When his wife was expecting their third child, a father decided to tell his two sons, ages seven and nine, the facts of life. He checked out several books from the library on how parents should approach the subject. After stumbling through an explanation, he took a deep breath, and said, "Now, boys, do you have any questions?"
"Yes," the younger boy answered immediately.
"Go ahead," said the man, his heart in his throat.
"Can we," his son asked, "have new baseball gloves?"
當妻子要生第三胎時，父親決定給分別已七歲和九歲的兩個兒子講關於性的知識。他從圖書館查出幾本書，都是關於父母如何涉及這個話題的。在結結巴巴地解釋一番後，他長出了一口氣，然後說：“好了，孩子們，有什麽問題嗎？”
“有，”小兒子立即回答。
“問吧，”爸爸說，心提到了嗓子眼兒。
“我們，”兒子問道，“可以得到新棒球手套了嗎？”
6 電話交談A Talk on the Phone
I teach computer courses, and my students often call me at home with questions. One morning I was on the phone, explaining in computer language the solution to a problem, while a repairman was fixing my refrigerator. After an endless stream of "C colon, back- slash, greater than, cd, backslash, DOS, 0 colon" and so on, I hung up and found the repairman staring at me. "Lady," he asked, are you a spy?"
我教計算機課程，我的學生經常打電話到我家問我問題。一天早晨，我在電話裏用計算機語言解釋一個問題的答案，當時一個維修工正在給我修電冰箱。經過一連串的“C冒號，回車，大於號，CD，回車，DOS，C冒號”等等，我掛上電話發現那位維修工在盯著我。“女士，”他問，“你是個間諜嗎？”
（from Internet)
嗯，wawale，有時真是隔行如隔山：）
wawale，周末快樂！
嗯，人家說的合乎情理，豔遇的渠道真是太多了~~~
點點，周末快樂！
問好小小!那真是個聰明人：）
小小，周末快樂！
哈哈，小和尚妹妹，笑得多多益善：）
小和尚妹妹，周末快樂！
尼斯，願你天天笑口常開:)
尼斯，周末快樂！
很高興桐兒能笑開懷：）
桐兒，周末快樂！
問好貝卡！他真會用簡潔的方式逃避寫作：）
謝謝貝卡喜歡，周末快樂！
哈哈，花甲老翁，搭訕的確是一門藝術：）
花甲老翁，周末快樂！
西西大美銀，笑多了臉出褶子醬紫嘛^_^
西西大美銀，笑多了臉出褶子醬紫嘛^_^
第二個笑話小夥子很聰明，鬆鬆周末快樂！
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈，最喜歡最後一個。。。。
俺９笑，頭上有九個點，比你又多三笑。 ＝）
俺6笑，比你又多三笑。一笑話一笑，氣氣你～～～～～
鬆鬆周末愉快！
好看， 開懷。
謝謝。
Hi, Songsong, thank you so much for sharing these wonderful and funny jokes. I really appreciate it. Have a nice weekend.