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周末一笑：在超級市場

(2014-10-18 04:42:32) 下一個

1 在超級市場 At the Supermarket

At the supermarket I noticed an elderly man who seemed to be following me wherever I went. As I moved to each aisle, there he was, smiling at me. Now I was wondering if he was interested in me. At the dairy counter I was checking out the eggs when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I saw that it was the same man. "Lady," he finally said, "you have my shopping cart."

在超市我注意到一位上了年紀的男子好像總在跟著我。我每到一個售貨通道，他就跟我到一個售貨通道，微笑地看著我。我開始想他是不是喜歡上我了。在乳品櫃，我正給雞蛋包裝結賬時，有人在我肩上輕拍了一下。我轉過身發現還是那個男子。“女士，”他終於開口說話了，“你用著我的購物車呢。”

2 兩個比目魚問題 The Problem of Two Flounders

Simon was an inveterate fisherman, well known for exaggerating the size of "the one that got away". But there came a day when he actually caught two enormous flounders. He immediately invited a few friends over to dine, then tried to figure out how best to serve the fish." If I use both," he told his wife, "it will seem ostentatious."

"Why not serve a piece of each?" she suggested.

"No, if I cut them up, nobody will believe I caught two giant flounders." Simon racked his brain. Then he had an idea.

The guests were seated at the table when their host strode in with a platter, holding the biggest flounder they'd ever seen. Suddenly Simon stumbled and fell. Everyone cried out in dismay as the fish crashed to the floor, but Simon quickly brushed himself off.

"Dear," he called out to his wife, "bring in the other flounder!"

　　西蒙是個老練的漁夫。人們都熟知他愛吹噓“跑掉的那條”魚的尺寸。但有一天他確實抓了兩條極大的比目魚。他立刻邀請幾個朋友過來吃飯，然後著力搞清楚怎樣上魚。“如果兩條一起上，”他對妻子說，“好像有點炫耀之嫌了。”

“何不兩條魚各上一塊呢？”他妻子建議道。

“不行，如果把兩條魚都切碎了，就不會有人相信我抓了兩條大比目魚了。”西蒙絞盡了腦汁，終於想出了一個好辦法。

　　客人已在餐桌邊就座完畢，這時主人大步地走進來，手裏端著一個托盤，托盤上是一個他們所見過的最大的比目魚。突然西蒙被什麽東西絆了一下摔倒了。所有的人都驚慌地叫了起來，因為魚在地板上摔得粉碎。但是西蒙迅速地擺脫了窘境。

“親愛的，”他對妻子喊道，“把另一條魚端上來！”

3 如是請求 This Way to Request

I had fallen and dislocated my elbow, which made writing checks for my small business nearly impossible. I called my bank to explain that the signature on my checks would look odd due to my accident, and would they please horror them anyway.
"Okay," said the woman on the phone, "but you' 11 have to write a letter to the bank telling them that you are requesting this."
　　我摔倒了，肘骨脫臼了。這使得我幾乎不能給我的小生意簽賬單了。我打電話給銀行解釋說由於事故，賬單上我的簽名看起來會有些古怪，並請求他們無論如何給予承兌。
“好的，”電話中的女子說，“但你必須給銀行寫封信，告訴他們你在作此項請求。”

4 緊急待機乘客 An Urgent Standby Passenger

While in Korea, Gov. Mike Smith of Utah was relaxing in the VIP lounge the Seoul airport, awaiting his flight to Japan. At the same moment, his press secretary, Jenny Varela, was being told at the ticket counter that she had no ticket.
After insisting she had to make the flight because she was with a U. S. governor, an American embassy aide intervened. Varela got a standby ticket and boarded just before take-off.
Regaining her composure, Varela went to the front of the plane to tell Smith of her adventure. He was not there. She later found out that the governor was told that he had been bumped by an urgent standby passenger.It was Varela.
　　在韓國時，猶他州的州長麥克·史密斯正在漢城機場的要人休息室裏休息。他在等著飛往日本的航班。與此同時，他的新聞秘書、詹妮·維蕾拉，在售票房被告知沒票了。
　　她堅持說要乘此航班，因為她是一位美國的州長的隨員，這樣美國大使館的一位副官介入了。維蕾拉拿到一張待機票並趕在飛機起飛前登了機。
　　略略鎮定後，維蕾拉到機艙前部去告訴史密斯她的經曆。他不在那兒。她後來得知，有人告知州長，他的飛行被一位緊急待機乘客衝撞掉了。這個人就是維蕾拉。

5 駕車的小夥子 The Young Man at the Wheel

My infant daughter began crying as I drove home from the store, and since she was harnessed to her safety seat in the back, I couldn't console her. Stopping for a red light, I turned around and waved my hands, calling her name to distract her. I gave her my biggest smile and blew her a kiss. The sound of a horn from the car behind us prompted me to look up. The young man at the wheel was smiling broadly .He waved and then blew me a kiss.

從商場開車回家的路上，我的小寶貝女兒開始哭鬧起來。由於她被套在後麵的安全座裏，所以我無法安慰她。紅燈停車的時候，我轉過身來，對她擺手，叫她的名字來引她。我給她以滿臉笑容，並給她一個飛吻。從我們車後傳來的喇叭聲立刻使我抬頭望去。駕車的小夥子正對我咧著大嘴笑。他向我擺手並給了我一個飛吻。

6 貓與托盤 The Cat and the Saucer

An antiques collector was passing a small shop when he noticed a cat on the sidewalk out front, licking milk from a saucer. The man immediately realized the saucer was very old and valuable. He stepped into the shop with an uninterested look and asked to buy the cat. "I'm sorry," the shop owner said, "but the cat is not for sale:"
"Please," the collector urged, "I need a cat around my house to catch mice. I'll give you 20 dollars. "
"The cat is yours," the owner said taking the money.
"Listen," the collector added, "I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer as well. The cat seems to like it and I'd hate to have him give it up. "
"Sorry," the shop owner answered, "but that saucer brings me luck. Why, just this week I've sold 68 cats!"

一個古董收集者正路過一個小店。他發現店前人行道上一隻貓在舔一個托盤上的牛奶。這個人立刻意識到這個托盤是個值錢的古物。他帶著一種毫無興趣的表情步入店內，要買那隻貓。“對不起，”店主說，“這隻貓是不賣的。”
“賣給我吧，”收集者敦促道，“我家裏麵需要一隻貓來捉老鼠。我給你20元。”
“貓歸你了，”店主接過錢說道。
“還有，”收集者補充道，“我想你是否能把那隻舊盤子也額外贈送給我。貓好像很喜歡它。我不願意看到它失去這東西。”
“對不起，”店主回答說，“但那隻托盤能給我帶來好運。你不知道，光這一周，我就賣掉68隻貓！”

（from Internet)

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