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1 來龍去脈The Long and Short of It
Although I had never met him, I knew that my grandfather had been five feet, six inches tall, while my stately grandmother stood five feet, eleven inches. As a teen-ager leafing through old photographs with Grandma, I finally realized how unusual they must have looked together.
"Grandma," I asked, "how could you have fallen in love with a man five inches shorter than you?"
She turned to me. "Honey," she said, "we fell in love sitting down, and when I stood up, it was too late."
盡管我從未見過我祖父，但我知道他身高五英尺六，而我高貴的祖母身高五英尺十一。十幾歲的時候，我和祖母一起一頁一頁地翻著老照片，我終於認識到他們在一起是多麽不同尋常。
"Grandma," I asked, "how could you have fallen in love with a man five inches shorter than you?"
She turned to me. "Honey," she said, "we fell in love sitting down, and when I stood up, it was too late."
盡管我從未見過我祖父，但我知道他身高五英尺六，而我高貴的祖母身高五英尺十一。十幾歲的時候，我和祖母一起一頁一頁地翻著老照片，我終於認識到他們在一起是多麽不同尋常。
“奶奶，”我問道，“你怎麽會愛上一個比你矮五英寸的人呢？”
她轉過臉來看著我。“寶貝，”她說，“我們是坐著相愛的。當我站起來的時候，已經太晚了。”
2 請幫個忙Do Me a Favor
The mechanic was very busy when I took my car in for repairs, so I settled down in the waiting room with a book I'd brought along. The mechanic was in and out answering calls, and at one point he stopped and looked at me. "Would you do me a favor and flip back a few pages when someone comes in? That way it won't look as if you've been here all day."
我把車拖去修理，機械師很忙。所以我就坐在接待室，拿出我隨身帶來的書讀，機械師出出進進地打招呼。有一次，他停下來看了看我說：“你能幫我個忙嗎？有人進來時，把書翻回幾頁行嗎？那樣的話，就不會看上去你在這兒呆了一整天了。”
3 不在這裏Not Here
Kathy and Polly were friends but they liked playing tricks on each other
One day Kathy met Polly in the street. She said, "Hi, Polly. It's good to see you."
"How can you see me when I'm not here?" Polly asked.
"What do you mean, you're not here?" Kathy asked. "Of course you're here."
"No, I'm not." Polly said. "and I'll bet you ten dollars that I can prove I'm not here."
"Alright," said Kathy. "Ten dollars. Now prove you're not here."
"Easy," Polly said, "Am I in Hong Kong?"
"No," said Kathy.
"Am I in Paris?"
"No," said Kathy.
"If I'm not in Hong Kong and I'm not in Paris," Polly said, "then I must be somewhere else. Right?"
"Right," said Kathy. "You must be somewhere else."
"Exactly." said Polly. "And if I'm somewhere else I can't be here, can I? Ten dollars, please. "
"That's very clever, Polly," Kathy said, "but I can't give you ten dollars."
"Why not?" asked Polly. "We had a bet.
"Certainly we had a bet," Kathy said, "but how can I give you ten dollars if you're not here?"
And with a laugh she walked away.
凱斯和波麗是朋友，但她們總愛開對方的玩笑。
一天凱斯在街上遇見了波麗。她說，“喂、波麗，很高興見到你。”
“我不在這裏，你怎能看到我呢？”波麗說。
“你說你不在這裏，這是什麽意思？”凱斯問，“當然，你在這裏。”
“不，我不在這裏。”波麗說，“我將和你打10美元的賭，賭我能證明我不在這裏。”
“行，”凱斯說，“10美元。現在證明你不在這裏吧。”
“這很容易，”波麗說，“我在香港嗎？”
“不在，”凱斯說。
“我在巴黎吧？”
“如果我既不在香港也不在巴黎，”波麗說，“那我一定在別的地方。對不對？”
“對，”凱斯說，“你一定在別處。”
“確實如此，”波麗說，“既然我在別處，那我一定不在這裏，不是嗎？請給10美元吧。”
“真聰明，波麗。”凱斯說，“但我不能給你10美元。”
“為什麽不給？”波麗問，“我們打過賭的。”
“不錯，我們打過賭。”凱斯說，“但既然你不在這裏，我怎麽能給你10美元呢？”
說完她笑著離開了。
4 海軍軍官候補生A Midshipman
One of my fellow midshipmen at the U. S. Naval Academy was performing poorly in class and reported to his company officer for counseling, "Your marks are deplorable!" the officer scolded. "Is there a problem-that has kept you from studies?"
"No, sir," the midshipman replied. "I have no idea what the problem is. I study the notes I take, and I'm never late to class. I don't even talk in class, but for some reason my professors don't seem to like me.
The officer sat back and thought. Then he asked, "Do you get enough sleep?"
My classmate replied, "Sir, do you mean at night or in class?"
我們在美國海軍學院軍官候補生中有一個同伴，他的學業很差。他到連隊軍官那兒尋求安慰。“你的成績糟透了，”軍官責備他說，“是否你的學習中存在什麽問題？”
“沒有哇，先生，”候補生回答說，“我搞不清楚是什麽問題。我讀我的筆記，上課從不遲到。甚至上課從不講話，但不知怎麽搞的，教授們好像都不喜歡我。”
軍官向後一靠，想了想。然後問道：“你睡眠充足嗎？”
我同學回答說：“先生，你說的是夜裏還是課堂上？”
5 糊塗父親The Mistaken Father
The morning following the birth of our first child, my husband was mistakenly directed to the room of another new mother on the maternity floor. As he walked into the room, he bent over the nap- ping mother, whose back was turned to him, and gave her a big kiss. The woman was startled to see a stranger. But before she could say anything, my husband smiled and said, "I didn't know having a baby would change you this much!"
我們孩子出世的那天早晨，我丈夫由於受誤導跑到了產科病區的另一位產婦那裏。他彎下腰，給了那位正背對著他小睡的產婦一個長吻。那位產婦發現是位陌生人，驚跳起來。但她還沒來得及張口，我丈夫便微笑著說：“真想不到生個孩子能使你變化如此之大！”
6 欲買馬之人A Prospective Horse Buyer
Then there was the preacher who decided to sell his horse. A prospective buyer was impressed with the animal, but the preacher said, "I must warn you-he only responds to 'church talk'. Go is 'Praise the Lord', and stop is 'Hallelujah"'.
"I've worked with horses all my life," said the buyer, "and I've never heard of anything like this." Mounting the horse, he said skeptically, "Praise the Lord." The horse began to trot. He repeated "Praise the Lord" and the horse broke into a gallop. Suddenly the buyer saw a cliff dead ahead. Frantic, he yelled "Hallelujah", and they came to a stop a foot from the edge.
Wiping the sweat from his brow, the buyer said, "Praise the Lord!"
Wiping the sweat from his brow, the buyer said, "Praise the Lord!"
傳教士決定賣掉他的馬。一位欲買馬之人看中了這匹馬，但傳教士說：“我必須警告你----他隻懂‘教堂語言’。走是‘感謝上帝’，停是‘哈裏路亞’。”
“我一生都在同馬打交道，”買馬之人說，“這樣的事我還是頭一次聽到。”他跨上馬，將信將疑地說：“感謝上帝。”馬開始小跑。他重複說“感謝上帝”，馬開始飛奔起來。突然買馬者看到前麵是一個懸崖。他嚇壞了，匆忙喊道：“哈裏路亞。”他們在離懸崖隻有一英尺的地方停了下來。
買馬之人擦了擦額頭上的汗珠，說道：“感謝上帝！”
(from Internet)
(from Internet)
哈哈，小和尚妹妹真是幽默~~
小和尚妹妹，周末快樂！
問好雪花！祝你忙且快樂著：）
雪花，新周快樂！
哈哈，點點好！嗯，坐著戀愛比較危險，新媽媽需要小心睡姿~
點點，周末快樂！
問好小小！謝謝你喜歡：）
小小，周末快樂！
哈哈，薔薇，“將錯誤進行到底”~~~
薔薇，周末快樂！
紅嘴鴎好！聰明人誰也蒙不了誰~
謝謝你喜歡這裏，周末快樂！
鬆鬆，周末快樂！
問好鬆鬆。很喜歡你這裏的小故事和你營造的輕鬆愉快的氛圍。
尼斯好！喜歡你周末來玩：）
尼斯，周末快樂！
哈哈，桐兒，謝謝你這麽委婉的批評。最近是有些忙碌，有些懶惰，有些。。。反正是沒有時間和精力好好打理博客了，過段時間可能會更忙：）
最後他那句"Praise the Lord!"，希望那匹馬沒有聽到。即使聽到也不一定會照著做。馬其實是很聰明的，《真實的謊言》裏，那匹馬開始就不敢從一座樓跳到另一座樓。
桐兒，周末快樂！
問好貝卡桐兒周末愉快！
隻要來wxc，我都要闖你家來看看。抱抱我的運動健將鬆鬆兒。你以前的博文真精彩（噢，不是說現在的不精彩啊，嗬嗬）
謝謝貝卡！很欣賞你的音畫製作，總是那麽唯美動人：）
貝卡，周末快樂！