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1 應用心理學 Applied psychology
After the student delivered the pizza to old Ken's house，Ken asked，"What is the usual tip?”
"Well，”replied the youth，"this is my first trip here，but the other blokes say if I get 5p out of you，I’II be doing great.”
"Is that sot”snorted Ken. "Well，just to show them how wrong they are，here’s five quid.”
"Thanks,”replied the youth，“I'll put this towards to my studies.”
"What are you studying”asked Ken. The lad smiled and said，"Applied psychology.”
一個學生把比薩餅送到老肯恩家，肯恩問:“你一般要多少小費?” 年輕人答道:“我第一次到這邊來，同事們說我要是能得到5便士就很不錯了。”
“是嗎?”肯恩哼了一聲，“他們錯了，給你5鎊。”
“謝謝，”年輕人答道:“我會把這些用在我的研究上。”
“你學什麽的?”肯恩問道。年輕人笑著說:“應用心理學。”
2 有你教他真好Good Thing He Has You
While I was talking to a parent of one of my third-grade students, another teacher walked by. The mother, remarking how beautiful the woman was, said, "If my son had her for a teacher, he wouldn't be able to concentrate. " Then she paused and added, "Good thing he has you. "
在我和一位三年級學生的母親交談時，另一位老師從旁邊走過。那位母親評論說那女教師真美，她說：“如果由她教我兒子的話，他一定不能認真聽課的。”她停頓了一下，又加了一句：“有你教他真好。”
3 牧羊人與官僚The Shepherd and the Bureaucrat
A bureaucrat was hiking when he came upon a shepherd tending a large flock. The bureaucrat took a fancy to the sheep and asked the shepherd, "If I can guess how many there are, may I have one?" The shepherd thought it unlikely the man would guess the exact number, so he agreed.
The bureaucrat guessed, "You have 287 sheep." The shepherd was astonished, since this was exactly right.
"Can I pick out my sheep now?" asked the bureaucrat. The shepherd grudgingly gave his permission. Selecting one, the bureaucrat slung it over his shoulders to carry home.
The shepherd got an idea." If I guess your occupation'," he said, "may I have my sheep back?" The bureaucrat was surprised, but figured there was little chance of the shepherd guessing correctly, so he went along. "You're a bureaucrat, "announced the shepherd. Amazed, the bureaucrat asked.
"How did you know?"
The shepherd replied, "Put the dog down and we'll talk about it.
一位官僚在徒步旅行，這時他看到一個牧羊人在看護一大群羊。這個官僚特別喜歡羊，就問牧羊人：“如果我能猜出有多少隻，我能領走一隻羊嗎？”牧羊人想他不可能猜中準確的數目，就同意了。
官僚猜道：“你有二百八十七隻羊。”牧羊人驚呆了，因為這確是準確的數目。
“我可以挑一隻羊了吧？”官僚問道。牧羊人勉強地答應了。官僚挑了一隻羊，把它甩在肩上就往家裏扛。
牧羊人來了主意。“如果我猜中你的身份，”他說，“我可以收回我的羊嗎？”官僚甚感驚奇，但考慮到牧羊人猜中的機會很小，就同意了。“你是個官員，”牧羊人猜道。
官僚一愣，問道：“你怎麽知道的？”
牧羊人回答：“先把我的狗放下，然後我們再說話。”
4 青蛙的電話A Call from a Frog
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you . "
The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"
"No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class.
青蛙撥打通靈熱線。電話中說：“你將遇到一位美麗的年輕女子，她要了解你的一切。”
青蛙說：“這太棒了！我會在舞會上遇見她，還是----？”
“不，”通靈者說，“是在下個學期她的生物課上。”
5 你不要知道嗎Wouldn't You Know
I accompanied my eight-month-pregnant wife to her monthly checkup . We boarded the hospital's elevator to go to the appropriate floor. The only other passenger was an elderly man who studied intently and then said, "Boy."
Without another word, he got off at his floor. I was about to tell my wife how strange I thought he was acting when suddenly I realized she was wearing a T-shirt sporting the "Guess?" logo.
我陪伴懷孕八個月的妻子去月查。我們上了醫院的電梯去某個樓層。唯一的另外乘客是一位上了年紀的男子。他專注地看著我妻子，然後說：“男孩。”
直到他到了自己的樓層，他再沒說話。我剛要告訴我妻子那個男子是多麽奇怪，這時我突然意識到她穿著一件T恤運動衫，上麵寫著“猜猜看？”標語。
6 最後的生日The Very Last Birthday
When I was approaching 50, I announced to my three grown children that I no longer wanted to celebrate my birthday and that they could phone me instead of sending a gift. At first they protested, but finally they agreed to go along with my wish. So when the doorbell rang on the morning of my birthday, I was surprised to see the florist delivering a huge, beautiful plant. Suddenly, without a word, she rushed back to the truck and , with a sad look, turned once to glance at me. Puzzled, I read the card attached to the plant: "To Mom-with lots of love-on your very last birthday.
接近五十歲的時候，我對我的三個成年孩子宣布說我不再想慶祝我的生日，並說他們可以給我打電話，不要再送禮物。開始他們反對，但終於他們同意隨我願。所以我生日那天早上門鈴響的時候，我驚奇地發現花店營業員送來一束又大又美的鮮花。突然她一聲不響地跑回到車上，並回過頭來悲哀地看了我一眼。我感到納悶，我看了一下花上的卡片，上麵寫著：“獻給媽媽----無盡的愛----在您最後的生日裏。”
(from Internet)
問好雪花！嗯，羊狗都分不清官員確實讓人笑：）
雪花，新周快樂！
真是好久不見紅嘴鴎了，擁抱一個：）
2裏的母親真是不會說話~
紅嘴鴎，周末快樂！
謝謝分享有趣的小故事。故事2裏的母親可是有點缺心眼啊。
問好點點!同意你說的,能學以致用的肯定是好學生;好老師也有漂亮的:)
點點,周末快樂!
haha, smart boy:)
Rebecca, have a nice weekend!
Songsong, thanks for sharing all these funny jokes. Have a nice weekend.