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1．How to Become Rich 如何致富
Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.
Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.
Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.
弟弟：我看見你親我姐姐了，如果你不給我五分錢，我就告訴我爸。
姐姐的男朋友：不要那樣做。給你五分錢。
弟弟：我這個月已經賺了一塊兩毛五了。
2．Lucky Mother 幸運的母親
A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughter her tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well. Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, when I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam. Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, aren’t you pleased that you've come to live with us now?
一位年輕的母親認為，世界上還有許多受饑餓的人，浪費食物真不應該。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女兒睡覺之前，她給女兒喂夜宵。她先給她一片新鮮的黑麵包和黃油，但孩子說她不喜歡這樣吃。她還要一些果醬塗在麵包上。母親看了女兒幾秒鍾，隨即說道，露茜，當我象你一樣小的時候，總是吃麵包加黃油，或者麵包加果醬，從來沒有麵包既加黃油又加果醬。露茜看了母親一會兒，眼中露出憐憫的神情，然後她柔聲說：您現在能跟我們生活在一起難道不感到高興嗎？
3．A Gentle Reminder委婉提醒
Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"
Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"
婚後已久，我丈夫往往在一個特別事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我們結婚35周年紀念的早上，我們正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：“親愛的，你意識到我們在這兩個相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了嗎？”
他放下報紙，眼睛直直地望著我：“因此，你想交換座位嗎？”
4．Dead Seagull死去的海鷗
A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son Bob ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
一位父親帶著孩子在沙灘玩。四歲的兒子鮑伯跑向他，抓著他的手領他到岸邊，在沙灘上發現一隻死去的海鷗。
"Daddy, what happened to him?" Bob asked.
“爸爸，他怎麽了？”鮑伯問。
"He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied.
“他死了並去了天堂。”爸爸回答道。
Bob thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"
鮑伯想了一分鍾後問：“上帝又把它扔回來了嗎？”
5．Reached Shore Fast快速靠岸
A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down.
在休倫湖釣完魚後，我的一個朋友開車拖著他的船回家。路上車壞了。
He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance.
他沒帶手機，不過，他想，也許他可以通過海事無線廣播來請求公路援助。於是，他爬到他的船裏麵，啟動了無線裝置，喊道，“求救，求救”。
He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday."
一名海岸護衛隊警官作出了回應，“報告你的位置”。
A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish."
“I-75號公路，Standish的南麵兩英裏”。
After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"
沉默了好一會之後，警官問我的朋友，“你的船靠岸時開得有多快？”
6．A Trip to Disney 迪斯尼之旅
On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I and our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home.
一次，我和丈夫以及兩個孩子前往位於佛羅裏達州的迪斯尼樂園旅遊,我們全身心地陶醉在它的各種充滿吸引力的奇觀中。筋疲力盡地玩了三天後，我們要回家了。
As we drove away, our son waved and said, "Good-bye, Mickey."
當我們駕車離開時，兒子揮著手說：“再見了，米奇。”
Our daughter waved and said, "Good-bye, Minnie."
女兒也揮著手說，“再見了，米妮。”
My husband waved, rather weakly, and said, "Good-bye, Money."
丈夫也有氣無力地揮了揮手，說：“再見了，美元。”
嗯，現在門票又比以前高了：（
美麗，周末快樂！
哈哈，好可愛的寶貝：）
小和尚妹妹，周末快樂！
Disney is so costy. I went last time living in my timeshare. it still cost me a lot.
就是，點點，花錢就是為了買快樂~~~
點點，周末快樂！
問好貝卡！我也是想起那個Mayday的帖子，很好笑：）
貝卡，周末繼續快樂！
讀到"Reached Shore Fast",想起小曼分享的"Mayday we are sinking"的視頻了：http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/mysj/187729.html
哈哈，小婷厚道，覺得小弟弟要挾的不多：）
小婷，周末快樂！
謝謝鬆鬆分享，祝鬆鬆周末愉快！
問好山韭菜，周末快樂！
哈哈，換座位的那個也是men are simple minded:)
雪花，周末快樂！
問好尼斯！祝你有個愉快的周末：）
問好貝卡！周末快樂！
謝謝鬆鬆帶給偶的每周一笑，放鬆心情，祝鬆鬆周末愉快！
問候貝卡！