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周末一笑：新舊大PK（轉載）

(2014-06-14 10:17:11) 下一個

1．New and Improved 新舊大PK

The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a story. From time to time, she would take her eyes’ off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. By and by she was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.

小女孩坐在祖父的膝上讀故事。她時不時的從書上轉移視線抬起頭來碰到他褶皺的臉。隨後她摸摸自己的臉頰又回去摸摸祖父的。

Finally she spoke, "Granddaddy, did God make you?"

最後她問：“爺爺，是上帝創造的你嗎？”

"Yes, sweetheart" he answered, "God made me a long time ago."

“是啊，甜心。”他回答道：“上帝很久前創造出了我。”

"Oh" she said, then "Granddaddy, did God make me too?"

“喔。”她回答。接著又問道：“爺爺，上帝也創造了我嗎？”

"Yes, indeed honey" he assured her. "God made you just a little while ago."

“是啊，當然了寶貝。”他向她保證：“上帝隻是不久前創造的你。”

"Oh" she said. Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it now isn't he?"

“喔。”她回答。又分別感受了兩人的臉頰，邊觀察邊說：“上帝的技術越來越好了，是不？”

2．How did you ever get here你是怎樣來的？

One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "lt was so slippery out that for every step l took ahead, I slipped back two."

一個冬天的早晨，一位員工向老板解釋他為什麽遲到了四十五分鍾。“外麵太滑了，我每向前邁一步，就要向後退兩步。”

The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?"

老板狐疑地看著他。“噢，是嗎，那你是怎麽到這裏來的？”

"I finally gave up,¨ he said ,"and started for home."

“後來我決定放棄，¨他說，¨然後我就往家裏走。”

3．All I do is pay我要做的一切就是付錢

"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "MY wife is the Minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the Minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary."

布朗先生告訴同事說：“我的家庭簡直就像一個國家一樣。我妻子是財政部長。我嶽母是作戰部長，我女兒是外交秘書。”

"Sounds interesting, his colleague replied. And what is your position?”

“聽上去挺有意思的，”他的同事說，“那你的職務是什麽呢？”

“I'm the people. All I do is pay."

“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付錢。”

4．The bad news and the terrible news壞消息和可怕的消息

Michael sat in his attorney's office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer asked.

邁克爾坐在律師的辦公室裏。“您想先知道壞消息還是可怕的消息？”律師問。

"Give me the bad news first.”

“先告訴我壞消息吧。”

"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."

“您的妻子發現了一張價值50萬美元的照片。”

“That's the bad news?”一Asked Michael incredulously.“I can't wait to hear the terrible news.” “The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary．"

“那是壞消息？”邁克爾滿腹懷疑．_快告訴我可怕的消息。”“可怕的消息就是照片是關於您和秘書的。”

5．Best reward最好的獎賞

A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand.

一名海軍軍官從甲板上掉人海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。

The officer asked how he could reward him.

這位軍官問如何才能酬謝他。

"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in．"

“長官，最好的辦法，”這名水手說，“就是別聲張這事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他們會把我扔下去的。”

6．A Hasty Interruption 輕率的插話

The fine-furniture store where I work has been in business since the 1920s.

我所工作的精品家具商店是從20世紀二十年代以來就營業的。

Recently I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chairs from a dining set purchased from us in the 1930s.

最近我接到一個婦女的電話。她想換一套餐具中的一些椅子。這套餐具她是在三十年代從我們這兒買的。

I assured her we could help and sought the assistance of the office manager. "You'll never believe this one,"I told him." I just got a call from a customer who bought some chairs from us in the 1930s. "

我向她保證說我們可以幫她的忙，於是我向部門經理尋求幫助。“你永遠也不會相信，”我對他說，“我剛接到一個顧客的電話，她在三十年代從我們這裏買了一些椅子。”

Before I could finish repeating her request, he interrupted and said, "Don't tell me she hasn't received them yet!"

我還沒來得及說她的要求，經理就打斷了我的話：“你別告訴我她到現在還沒收到貨！”

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