Yellow outside, White inside

中午一起吃飯時，偶然聽到一當地出生的Chinese同事說：“I'm yellow outside, but white inside”。因隻聽到他說這句話，不清楚什麽話題引發他這麽說，但事後這句話一直在我腦海裏轉，讓我無法釋然。

記得在新加坡時，當地年輕人被成為“banana"。原因是他們外表黃皮膚，內心卻很西化。因他們從小受英文教育，有些崇洋媚外，總覺得西方的東西，西方的觀念，西方的想法就是好，當然他們自己的感覺也很好。

我當時並沒有特別的感覺，他們怎麽想是他們的事，跟我沒有關係。

但這次不一樣，我想到了我的孩子。他們將來也會這麽想這麽說嗎？這絕對是我不想看到不想聽到的。

什麽是"yellow outside, white inside"? 皮膚有黑白黃之分，內心怎麽還有顏色之分？這明顯就是說白色比黃色有優越感，要和我們這些地道的黃皮膚人劃清界限？

我絕對不希望我的孩子說這樣的話甚至有這樣的想法。首先，說這話明顯就是不自信的一種表現，認為黃皮膚不好，自己看低自己。如果我的孩子有一天真得因為自己是黃皮膚而受到歧視，讓他們感覺低人一等，他們可能會怪怨我們為什麽把他們生成黃皮膚或生在這裏，我會感覺對不起他們，會反省移民加拿大的決定是否正確；如果我的孩子們因為出生在這裏，受教育在這裏，就認為他們比中國出生的華人有優越感甚至看低他們，這跟看不起我們沒什麽兩樣，其實也是看不起自己。

我希望我的孩子以作為華人而自豪，為中國而自豪，為能說中國話而自豪。我希望他們不管在哪裏不管做什麽都要充滿自信。無論如何，不能說：”I'm yellow outside, but white inside."

說了這麽多，我並不是想批評我的同事。其實他的人很好，相信他對中國也很關心，我知道地震時他還捐了款。他說這話也許隻是想表達他的思維想法和中國移民來的華人不一樣，雖然他也是華人。不管怎麽樣，我覺得我們作為第一代移民，在怎樣教育孩子培養孩子的世界觀方麵確實充當很重要的角色，應該付出一些努力。
 
English follow...

During the lunch time, when I sit down, I heard one of my Chinese colleagues, who was born here in Canada, said:”I’m yellow outside, but white inside.” As I didn’t know what caused him to say this, I don't want to make judgement on what he said, but the words really brought me many thoughts.

The first time I heard about “yellow outside, white inside” when I was in Singapore. The young Singaporean were called “banana” because they are Chinese but can’t read and write Chinese; They are educated in English; Their ways of thinking and acting are more close to western people and that’s also the trend they want to follow.

At that time I didn’t think too much. That’s the fact and I respect others’ thoughts.

Now I think of my children and think about the meaning behind these words. What if one day they say the same words? For sure, I will feel sad about it and for sure I don’t want this happen to my children.

People have different colors. We can’t control this and nothing wrong with this. But why there are different colors inside? What means that? By saying it, I can sense the meaning behind that : White is superior to yellow; White should be treated differently than yellow.

I don’t want my children to say this even have such thinking. If one day they are treated differently just because of the color of the skin, it may make them lose self-confident, probably they will blame us why gave them yellow skin not white; If they feel they are different from Chinese from China and look down on them or don’t want to be treated the same way as them, there is no difference than they look down on their parents, the same as they look down on themselves. That will be my big mistake in educating my children.

I want my children to be proud of being Chinese, can speak Chinese and also benefit from speaking Chinese; I want them to be confident all the time no matter what they are doing and where they are. In any cases, never say: “I’m yellow outside, but white inside.”

I don't mean to blame my colleague or judge him here. He is a good guy. I believe he cares about China. He ever donated for China's earthquake...Probably he meant to say that his way of thinking or looking at things was different from Chinese from China and closer to the local people. No matter what, this gives us a warning. As parents of children who were born or grow up here, we should be responsible for guiding them to have the right view. We should REALLY put effort on this.