Steve did not call me today. He called me Wednesday at 10pm and I missed his call. But I was not sure if he wanted me to call him when his dad is here. He called me Thursday 9pm. He said he left me a message yesterday, which I did not receive. He caught me the time I was very frustrated with my new cell phone setup. He said why your mood goes ups and downs so easily. I suddenly felt very sad. I thought he would be more understanding of my current situation. But the way he talks as if he is finding out more of my fault. Do we really have future? He hang up phone with me very soon.
He did not make any arrangement for the Valentine's day. Maybe, most likely, I will celebrate the V day myself. After we started dating, we did not celebrate the Christmas Eve, Christmas Day together. We spent the New Year's eve together, part of the New Year's day. I do not feel that he is at this stage trying to have more time with me. When I feel ignored, I feel very down. I feel I want to be treated better.
Maybe I should have known that we do not have future the minute he decided not to see me before his 10-day trip. Maybe I should have known it the moment he decided not to talk to me, or in touch with me during those days. Maybe he comes to see me just for physical pleasure. We are nothing but dogs and cats. Does he really not know that his short phone calls can light up my days? Nowadays weekends become more miserable for me. I would be expecting his calls, his plans to see me. And more often, I got so disappointed. Should I really spend this much time on him, who does not care me? I know it is a new relationship and I might have too high expectations. Maybe I am just wrong. I am surely not good at dating. :( It is such a luxury for me.Kaifu told me he wants to buy some flowers for me, just to make me happy. He was not nice to me when we were related. He became a Christian and we are more like good friends. When he heard my sad feelings, he suddenly felt he wanted me to be happy and be nicely treated. I hope he would be nice to me in the days when we were in love.
