I am thinking of you but I don’t want to let you know it. I am afraid that you will be scared and you may find that is heavy for your life. I tried not to think about you, I did hard and I spend all of my spare time in sports center, to invite people or to be invited, just wanted to be occupied, then less thinking about you. however It doesn’t work well, I found it is difficult to not think about you. Even when I was occupied by the other things, the worse is that I did miss not only you but also the moment alone, the moment when I was thinking of you, filling with the air of light melancholy.
I tried to persuade myself that I should not expect too much about this relationship, I d better to take it easy and it probably will be only a part of some memory of my life, somehow sweet and melancholic memory. Like a drop of water in the ocean.... Our situation is not really easy for us to make a life together. I am Chinese working in Toulouse France and he is German working in Rotterdam Netherlands.Althouth it was some kind of accident that we started to know each other, although it was beautiful becoming friends and getting closer and closer. I signed what a ridiculous world. It is better to be only some kind of good friends. While I know that I like him, with a little bit too much feeling.Some thing that I did not expected at all in the beginning, some thing that did not happened on me for long time. Hope time will mend me and I should to be patient waiting time passed. Life learned me that time will never stop pass, regardless whatever happened.
However in the deep of my mind, I think, I would like expect to have a new life with him, I even said that I could do everything for it, including give up my job in France and move to his place if he prefer. I do like him.
Really, what a ridiculous world.
