I am sick of him
(2008-08-07 11:57:55)
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We are so close now and stay together every day. even though it is not my original expectation, things always go as out of your control. He first start not leaving on monday as he stay here on weekends. Later on, he start to stay to Wednesday. Finally, he stay whole week with me. He cooked for me every day. I slowly get used to this life and getting fatter.
When close to each other, the defect is also showing obviously. He is aggressive and impatient same as previous me. But main reason I could see is his financial problem. He is very hard working, immediately build the bike business on ebay. I was amazed by his dilligence and smartness of business. At the same time, I also hate he massed up the apartment and make it as storage room. The quaralls starts from his this business. I want to have peaceful and sweet life, I was expecting he had stability. but never imagine he is also in such a instable financial situation. After too many times argument, I really get sick of it. I am sick of seeing him. I don't when he will become so impatient about any words. he is like a bomb explosing any time. At the same time, I also have trouble with shahbaz need to address, that increase tension for me. I just want to be alone and solvee the problem. but he is also so much care about me, when he know the trouble from shahbaz, he use all his ways to give me the solution. I am also impressed by his this love. so I could not say that he did not love me.
but I am just so sick of seeing him and want to be alone, I am afraid I am having problem of controlling myself. His any small thing will trigger my big shitting on him. so we both are upset. I hope I could get rid of the chicago property and the car very soon. possible I will be ok!