what I am thinking?

I don't know whatever happened in the article could also happen to me so true. Tuesday, that is three days ago. I received a call again about shah's betray to the marriage. My heart was hold with pain, with something I could never express. I just know that I could not breathe, could not think clearly. The person told me in the phone that shah live with the girl he hired now. Everything sounds very true. I was struggling in the last three days if I should go and have a look. Finally, I decieded to go. I think I need to be responsible for the marriage, for my children. Even though it leads the future broke, I still want to be clear whatever happned from his side because he never agree that he did anything betraying this family.
Also he did not call me too much even though so big thing happen. Did he just think I need not any comfort and encouragement? Did he just try to find some solution for himself? I am disappointed again. but to give the future clear answer, I need to go and really get the idea what happen to him.
This is what I hate to do but have to do.