綠水天涯
人生如戲，盼笑語從容過。和老友新知三二知己，細雨輕聲話話家常。
正文
Terri Schiavo的新聞炒得紛紛揚揚的,看到這段新聞,忍不住轉貼一下,希望還Michael一份清白.
引摘一段關於Michael Schiavo and his new girlfriend Jodi:(Copyright 2003 St. Petersburg Times)
==================================================================================
....They met by chance at a dentist's office.
Neither was searching for love, friends say.
She had been through a divorce.
His wife lived in a nursing home.
The years had left him heartbroken and lonely, friends say.
He bonded with the new woman over dinners and long talks. It was complicated, but they fell in love, friends say.
Still, Michael Schiavo has always made it very clear:
"He has one wife, and her name is Terri," said a family friend, GloriaCentonze. "He does not refer to anyone else as his wife, and never has."
How, then, to explain Jodi?
Jodi Centonze, 40, is Michael Schiavo's live-in girlfriend, mother of their two children, 1 and 21/2 years old.
Centonze occupies a peculiar role in the national debate over TerriSchiavo - in the middle of it, but never a public part of it.
"She wants to stay out of it," said her brother, John Centonze. "She says this is not about her, it's about Terri."
Yet she has been anathematized, her name invoked as a key reason whySchiavo, 41, should not control his wife's fate. Outside Terri'shospice, protesters hold signs that say, "Michael don't plan thewedding yet, we still have hope!" and "Arrest Mike for bigamy."
Schiavo has moved on, his opponents say, and should give Terri back toher parents. "Remaining married to him is an embarrassment," said DavidGibbs III, the lawyer for Terri's parents. He tried unsuccessfully toget Terri a divorce last month, accusing Schiavo of "open adultery."
Schiavo's opponents have directed much vitriol toward Jodi Centonze,threatening her life and her two children. In dozens of letters mailedto the couple's Countryside home, some critics have called her a whoreand her children bastards, relatives say.
Through it all, Centonze has remained quietly by Schiavo's side. Shewas there long before the television cameras, before Terri's conditionbecame a national obsession.
Jodi Centonze has visited Terri, shopped for her, washed her clothes,relatives say. She has accepted her role as the other woman, andbelieves Michael Schiavo has enough room in his heart for both,relatives say.
"She knows she was not his first choice," said one of Schiavo'sfriends, Russ Hyden of Gainesville. "But we don't always get to choose."
After all, he wasn't her first choice, either.
Jodi Centonze met Michael Schiavo at a dentist's office, her brother said.
"Neither one of them was looking to meet anyone," John Centonze said."And it wasn't something they just did. They weren't really togetherfor a couple of years after they met."
Michael Schiavo had been an "emotional wreck" after his wife collapsed, he said in a 2000 trial.
Terri, the woman who had charmed him on first meeting, could no longerwalk, eat or talk. She lay listless in a hospital bed, turned every twohours to avoid bedsores.
Schiavo was there for more than 130 doctor visits, through Terri'surinary tract infections, for the amputation of her left little toe,the removal of her gall bladder. He had been, a state judge noted, hermost regular visitor.
Terri's parents, Robert and Mary Schindler, agreed he was a devotedhusband and encouraged him to date other women, according to courtrecords and relatives.
"It was only a couple of weeks before Bob Schindler was saying Mikeneeded to get on with his life," said Schiavo's brother, Scott. "Thatwas the farthest thing from Mike's mind."
But as months turned into years, Schiavo lost hope.
He decided to date about three years after Terri collapsed, Schiavo's lawyer said during the 2000 trial.
"It took Michael a long time to consider the prospect of getting onwith his life - something he was actively encouraged to do by theSchindlers, long before enmity tore them apart," Jay Wolfson, a formerguardian of Terri, wrote in a 2003 report to Gov. Jeb Bush.
"He was even encouraged by the Schindlers to date, and introduced his in-law family to women he was dating," Wolfson wrote.
That was all before the Schiavos received about a $1-millionmalpractice verdict, stemming from the potassium imbalance that led toher current state. The award began a long-running feud with his in-lawsover money and Terri's care.
The Schindlers began accusing their son-in-law of trying to kill Terriso he could keep the settlement money and marry his new girlfriend.
Schiavo said he didn't care about the money and offered to donate it to charity.
....
Jodi Centonze was conflicted about whether to date Michael Schiavo, her brother said.
She wanted her oldest brother's opinion, and asked him to meet Schiavofor dinner at an Italian restaurant in Feather Sound. That was about 10years ago, before most anyone knew of Terri Schiavo.
"I grilled Mike," John Centonze recalled. "I asked him all thesequestions: What's up, you're married? Why do you want to see my sister?"
Schiavo explained his wife was in a nursing home, and that she wouldn'twant to live like that, John Centonze said. Schiavo said he had moneyfrom a lawsuit and was doing everything he could for Terri.
"I could see he was very uneasy, very scared," John Centonze said. "Hehad spent four to five years by himself. He seemed lonely andheartbroken."
Schiavo always made it clear he was still in love with Terri, relatives say.
"Mike still has a lot of emotions for Terri," John Centonze said."People make him out to be this mean guy, and he's nothing like that atall."
Jodi Centonze knew what she was getting into, her brother said.
"From the beginning she knew the situation," her brother said. "He toldher, if you have a problem with this, this is what I'm going to do. I'mgoing to fulfill her wishes, and carry it out until the end.
"She's there for him 100 percent," Centonze's brother said.
Family members get angry when people accuse Schiavo of physically abusing Terri.
"If he was that way, my sister would have kicked him to the curb," JohnCentonze said. "She doesn't take crap from anyone. ... If Mike was thatway, he could never be with my sister. She don't play."
It has been complicated, relatives say, but the family accepts and supports their relationship.
"Sometimes I feel as if it's almost a spiritual thing, like Terri sent Jodi to him," said Schiavo's brother, Scott.
Some relatives compare Michael Schiavo to a man who has lost his wifeto Alzheimer's disease. He is devoted, but wants a companion.
"Life is lonely," said Gloria Centonze, Jodi's sister-in-law. "People need a reason to get up in the morning."
* * * ....
==================================================================================
....They met by chance at a dentist's office.
Neither was searching for love, friends say.
She had been through a divorce.
His wife lived in a nursing home.
The years had left him heartbroken and lonely, friends say.
He bonded with the new woman over dinners and long talks. It was complicated, but they fell in love, friends say.
Still, Michael Schiavo has always made it very clear:
"He has one wife, and her name is Terri," said a family friend, GloriaCentonze. "He does not refer to anyone else as his wife, and never has."
How, then, to explain Jodi?
Jodi Centonze, 40, is Michael Schiavo's live-in girlfriend, mother of their two children, 1 and 21/2 years old.
Centonze occupies a peculiar role in the national debate over TerriSchiavo - in the middle of it, but never a public part of it.
"She wants to stay out of it," said her brother, John Centonze. "She says this is not about her, it's about Terri."
Yet she has been anathematized, her name invoked as a key reason whySchiavo, 41, should not control his wife's fate. Outside Terri'shospice, protesters hold signs that say, "Michael don't plan thewedding yet, we still have hope!" and "Arrest Mike for bigamy."
Schiavo has moved on, his opponents say, and should give Terri back toher parents. "Remaining married to him is an embarrassment," said DavidGibbs III, the lawyer for Terri's parents. He tried unsuccessfully toget Terri a divorce last month, accusing Schiavo of "open adultery."
Schiavo's opponents have directed much vitriol toward Jodi Centonze,threatening her life and her two children. In dozens of letters mailedto the couple's Countryside home, some critics have called her a whoreand her children bastards, relatives say.
Through it all, Centonze has remained quietly by Schiavo's side. Shewas there long before the television cameras, before Terri's conditionbecame a national obsession.
Jodi Centonze has visited Terri, shopped for her, washed her clothes,relatives say. She has accepted her role as the other woman, andbelieves Michael Schiavo has enough room in his heart for both,relatives say.
"She knows she was not his first choice," said one of Schiavo'sfriends, Russ Hyden of Gainesville. "But we don't always get to choose."
After all, he wasn't her first choice, either.
Jodi Centonze met Michael Schiavo at a dentist's office, her brother said.
"Neither one of them was looking to meet anyone," John Centonze said."And it wasn't something they just did. They weren't really togetherfor a couple of years after they met."
Michael Schiavo had been an "emotional wreck" after his wife collapsed, he said in a 2000 trial.
Terri, the woman who had charmed him on first meeting, could no longerwalk, eat or talk. She lay listless in a hospital bed, turned every twohours to avoid bedsores.
Schiavo was there for more than 130 doctor visits, through Terri'surinary tract infections, for the amputation of her left little toe,the removal of her gall bladder. He had been, a state judge noted, hermost regular visitor.
Terri's parents, Robert and Mary Schindler, agreed he was a devotedhusband and encouraged him to date other women, according to courtrecords and relatives.
"It was only a couple of weeks before Bob Schindler was saying Mikeneeded to get on with his life," said Schiavo's brother, Scott. "Thatwas the farthest thing from Mike's mind."
But as months turned into years, Schiavo lost hope.
He decided to date about three years after Terri collapsed, Schiavo's lawyer said during the 2000 trial.
"It took Michael a long time to consider the prospect of getting onwith his life - something he was actively encouraged to do by theSchindlers, long before enmity tore them apart," Jay Wolfson, a formerguardian of Terri, wrote in a 2003 report to Gov. Jeb Bush.
"He was even encouraged by the Schindlers to date, and introduced his in-law family to women he was dating," Wolfson wrote.
That was all before the Schiavos received about a $1-millionmalpractice verdict, stemming from the potassium imbalance that led toher current state. The award began a long-running feud with his in-lawsover money and Terri's care.
The Schindlers began accusing their son-in-law of trying to kill Terriso he could keep the settlement money and marry his new girlfriend.
Schiavo said he didn't care about the money and offered to donate it to charity.
....
Jodi Centonze was conflicted about whether to date Michael Schiavo, her brother said.
She wanted her oldest brother's opinion, and asked him to meet Schiavofor dinner at an Italian restaurant in Feather Sound. That was about 10years ago, before most anyone knew of Terri Schiavo.
"I grilled Mike," John Centonze recalled. "I asked him all thesequestions: What's up, you're married? Why do you want to see my sister?"
Schiavo explained his wife was in a nursing home, and that she wouldn'twant to live like that, John Centonze said. Schiavo said he had moneyfrom a lawsuit and was doing everything he could for Terri.
"I could see he was very uneasy, very scared," John Centonze said. "Hehad spent four to five years by himself. He seemed lonely andheartbroken."
Schiavo always made it clear he was still in love with Terri, relatives say.
"Mike still has a lot of emotions for Terri," John Centonze said."People make him out to be this mean guy, and he's nothing like that atall."
Jodi Centonze knew what she was getting into, her brother said.
"From the beginning she knew the situation," her brother said. "He toldher, if you have a problem with this, this is what I'm going to do. I'mgoing to fulfill her wishes, and carry it out until the end.
"She's there for him 100 percent," Centonze's brother said.
Family members get angry when people accuse Schiavo of physically abusing Terri.
"If he was that way, my sister would have kicked him to the curb," JohnCentonze said. "She doesn't take crap from anyone. ... If Mike was thatway, he could never be with my sister. She don't play."
It has been complicated, relatives say, but the family accepts and supports their relationship.
"Sometimes I feel as if it's almost a spiritual thing, like Terri sent Jodi to him," said Schiavo's brother, Scott.
Some relatives compare Michael Schiavo to a man who has lost his wifeto Alzheimer's disease. He is devoted, but wants a companion.
"Life is lonely," said Gloria Centonze, Jodi's sister-in-law. "People need a reason to get up in the morning."
* * * ....
我看的新聞裏，Terri娘家的人,隻有在中間的那10分鍾不和她在一起.且不說Michael希望能和他妻子單獨在一起度過最後的時光不是不可以理解,就衝著Terri家裏這些年來對他的行為讓他心裏對他們有意見而不希望和他們共處一室(我個人猜想),我覺得也是可以理解的,不是嗎?為什麽大家一定要用聖人的要求來要求一個凡人呢?
還有,大家討論問題最好就事論事,不要動不動扯到文化上去. 小貝說得很對,中國傳統文化是嫁出去的女兒潑出去的水,女人在娘家是連家譜都上不了的. 中國傳統文化裏,男人對妻子的支配權要遠遠大過現在的Michael. 我不同意你的觀點,並不說明你比我中華. 相信小貝也是如此. 愛中國並不需要時時刻刻掛在嘴上,每個人盡自己的力為祖國多做點,就好.
謝謝你的討論,讓Terri在天國安息吧,也希望活著的人能夠move on.
The Schindlers' spiritual advisers said the couple had been at their daughter's bedside minutes before the end came, but were not there at the moment of her death because Michael Schiavo did not want them in the room.
你要真尊重中華傳統，就該知道中國古話是嫁出去的女兒潑出去的水。別沒事就拿文化做文章。
我不知道你是誰的馬甲也沒有興趣再和你對話。你自己玩去。
我的話： 沒人說Michael 不該MOVE ON。關鍵是你MOVE ON了是不是還比配偶的父母更有資格當監護人，有沒有INTEREST CONFLICT。
小聽：我有親友全癱了十年。家人是需要很大的愛心。在中國，條件還不如美國的NURSING HOME。
Michael是在拿到MALPRACTICE以後在1998年TERRI一次感染時才SIGN DNR的。為此TERRI父母才上法院爭監護權的。他早為什麽沒提？
他的行為可以理解，應為他是人，不是聖人。如此而已。
可能因為是基督教國家，美國配偶權很大。我這人可能比較中華，我願意尊重配偶父母的一些權力。
一個久病在床的人(過了兩年的),對家人絕對是負擔大過慰籍,我周圍看到過好幾例.如果有希望逆轉的,當然要救.沒有希望逆轉的,這樣拖下去很沒有道理,更不要說他們用的是納稅人的錢.
雪上飛豬: 他不願離婚的原因,是你猜想的吧? 猜想的東西,是不可以用來譴責別人的,對嗎? struggle當然會有的,可是15年了,就算用8年的數字算,該有的struggle也差不多了吧? 別忘了,訪問Terri最多的是她的丈夫,不是她父母.
冒昧的問一句,您伺候過久病的人嗎? 您知道久病的人會生褥瘡,每天需要擦洗翻無數次的身,需要多少的照顧嗎? 如果是父母,能忍心看著孩子遭這份罪,僅僅是為了滿足自己的感情? 愛別人是為別人好,如果愛美的Terri有天之靈知道她的病態每天展示在全球人眼前,她會感激她父母嗎?
我看到報道說她先生開始一直給她擦洗,可是沒有看到報道有說她父母做過這些的,希望有誰看到的話,讓我也看看. 至今為止,Terri是Michael的妻子,所以他有權告訴法庭,Terri心裏想說的話.
還有不少人發了願，一付很為對方著想的樣子，要讓配偶MOVE ON。問題是如果你是沒病那一個，你就真得沒一點STRUGGLE讓那個躺著的離去嗎？生養了你愛的這個人的那倆個人就完全不需被考慮嗎？當然躺著的如果明確有意願也隻能FOLLOW了。不過我寫 will時和配偶及父母均有溝通。
我個人如果是TERRI，反正我也什麽都不知道了，無所謂什麽生不如死或尊嚴的死。如果我的軀體還能告慰其他人，留著也沒啥不好。如果家屬有爭議，給我或配偶生命的人應該更有發言權。就像自殺的人對愛他的人來說，他是自私的，雖然他有權支配他自己的命。
有人性。