mywonderland2007-11-04 20:18:46回複悄悄話
Since with you in my heart, life change a lot. Everything means different. I thought that was destiny but it is different. I miss you in a silent neight, I wish i am in your dearm, although I could not lie on with you at this moment. Whatevery you care or not care, my life totally changed. Even at last you may crush our wish, our dream, our pome, my paint, my song, my all life, at least I enjoy with you today. Not every one has this kind of feeling as we have, not evey one can experience real love as I do. love one and be loved is so happy. Do you agree?
mywonderland2007-11-02 14:16:32回複悄悄話
Look like you are not very much here too.
mywonderland2007-10-31 18:22:23回複悄悄話
Ha,ha...
It is funning and humors. What is your next expectation a man or woman? wish I will stay with you next life.
mywonderland2007-10-29 16:35:42回複悄悄話
I Miss you at this moment, love you so much...so don't want to waste any our precious time.
mywonderland2007-10-24 18:05:00回複悄悄話
Love you make me jealousy your close to anyone eles. I am not mean to hurt you. But your strong response make me feel a little guilt. I love you, want to stay with you longer,expect to make you happy. don't want to lost you. I don't want fight or argue withu you during our precious time. Miss you at this moment, love you so much...
mywonderland2007-10-22 20:00:39回複悄悄話
If you always keep too busy that will damage your health. Perhaps you have to adjust your strategy of your business, your profession work and your management skills. Although you are smart person, you have to find some way ask other around work for you. As a CEO or upper level core person in a company, has some one eles work for you. Use other one's mind and power, get success.
mywonderland2007-10-15 18:45:44回複悄悄話
At least get some feed back from you. Even one word is enough to me. love you and love you, my life is with more meaning because your love.
mywonderland2007-10-15 08:03:10回複悄悄話
same thing here too. Just need some more time to be here. Like you said " Love is forever, not necessary at every morning or nights".
Love you
mywonderland2007-10-13 07:10:36回複悄悄話
Because I cannot talk to you when I am thinking of you, at least I can come here to say something. I was not means to create issues for you, I just said what I thought.
I try to change my life, think of you less and do some other things more. But sometimes I cannot help myself. If I were you, I would like to know that some one miss you so much, you should be very happy.
Miss you thinking every details of your words and smile, think of you, want to hold you more longer. Hit you, why I cannot forget you? Love you
mywonderland2007-10-11 20:03:25回複悄悄話
what are you talking about here? You always want to create some issues and then ask me to solve. I miss you and very busy last week or so. I will solve your challange for sure.
mywonderland2007-10-11 05:03:10回複悄悄話
anything else is not except. timing will change everything. When you start a new thing you feel exciting, fresh, but with time run out, color is not fresh any more. That is why people always like to keep change, keep going. If you always stay at certain point, you will lost everthing. I don't want to be the person ask some one get rid of me. I will get rid of some one first.
mywonderland2007-10-01 18:10:09回複悄悄話
It past 5 days you did not check this page. That is the same page we have. Hope to see you here pretty soon.
mywonderland2007-09-30 15:07:28回複悄悄話
When you make a decision, you looks like a real man that was more attractive. When you gave me a surprise, you looks like a real lover with romantics, I hope the time can be hold at that moment ever and forever. When you work around others, you looks like a boss that is what you want to be?
mywonderland2007-09-26 13:15:37回複悄悄話
I always give you more love than you give me! Or at least equal love!
有一種感覺總在失眠時，才承認是“相思”；
有一種緣分總在夢醒後，才相信是“永恒”；
有一種目光總在分手時，才看見是“眷戀”；
有一種心情總在離別後，才明白是“失落”。
I am glad to see you here to check the artical. Wish you have a good moon holiday. To be remembered, when the full moon in the sky, I am thinking about you. I wish you could saty with me at that moment, but I know that is not possible because you have more love and more responsibility. Wish some day, you could give me more love than the love I gave to you.
mywonderland2007-09-22 20:13:01回複悄悄話
I care about you, and loveyou. Just now, it's too busy for me for many things as you know. But I still try to find time to talk to you. Don't guess too much.
mywonderland2007-09-21 09:59:10回複悄悄話
Do I love you too much that you lost your feeling. Eveything is the same, if you get it too easy, you will be not care it. Why I love you so much? Bear eveything from you. Your care, your not care, your gentle and your rude, even your responsibility. Maybe I am an idiot
mywonderland2007-09-16 19:59:56回複悄悄話
I start to pity you more than ask you more. maybe that is more care about you. You are too busy, your work cannot be completed by three people, I should understand you and don't always add more trouble to you. I can stay away from you. As you said stand on your shoes, I don't want to complain any more. In addition, I should have my world, you will be partial of it but not all of them. Think like this I feel more confidence and know what I should do next.Love!
mywonderland2007-09-15 18:45:10回複悄悄話
I had a very good sleep last night. Today, I was very busy today with all things running. Actually, I called you twices and you are not there. Hope you had a good day. I love you too.
mywonderland2007-09-13 21:29:24回複悄悄話
Today I have a busy and happy day. Stay with you I feel so good. I wish I could get along with longer, but anyway it is enough if you just show me a sign you love me. love you!
mywonderland2007-09-12 19:16:32回複悄悄話
Happy happy birthday!
As you said I should understand you but I did not behavoir myself for your feeling. I feel shame sometimes but I could not control myself. It should be not me, why I am not strong enough at this aspect. I wish I could like you. maybe you have to know I love you too much. Love.
mywonderland2007-09-12 14:25:28回複悄悄話
I am sorry and hope you know I was very busy these two weeks or so. I love you!
mywonderland2007-09-11 17:41:25回複悄悄話
Where is the GOD? Why he wouldn't help me? I am totally lost. I have no direction. What should I do to forget you? Maybe it is not your fall but it was you opened a door with the sun shine and closed it right way and leave me in the hell. What should I do next? Help! I am calling from my heart. I hope some one can help me walk out from current me. Maybe I just sick, maybe I just dreaming, how can save me fryoom this desperate situation?
mywonderland2007-09-11 17:34:00回複悄悄話
How can you treat me like this? Why I cannot forget you even just a moment? I hit you hit you. Please help me forget you. Help me go back to before. Have you ever founnd I am sruggling for leaving you away.
mywonderland2007-09-10 16:55:58回複悄悄話
So you really don't want to come here any more. Here is only my space. How long you will keep your silence?
Eveything is not so fresh for you. There are not long term relationship between us. No words, no communication here. For me it was a long long time, it is hard for me to forget you, but I have to try. I will go back to the time without you. Maybe I should get used to that easily, but told you true that is really hard like a nightmare. I don't know just feel so sad, so hard to leave you like go to hell. I don't know how long I will keep this feeling but I have to write to you otherwise I will die. I don't know. You don't need to write anything to me, keep your silence till I release myself.
mywonderland2007-09-09 09:28:43回複悄悄話
There are some useful words I put here for myself. As a advise
女人要懂得善待自己(轉貼) 2007-09-09 08:15:14
mywonderland2007-09-04 02:22:09回複悄悄話
I cannot understand your meaning here. Oil and water can not stay togethter.
you are everthing in my mind when I was driving. In that way I just supposed I was stay with you and enjoyed with you. How is everything going? Do you have a relax holiday? I don't know when you will have a relaxed day? and stay with me a whole day.
mywonderland2007-09-02 06:49:20回複悄悄話
Your love is nothing wrong. Just we don't have enough time together.
mywonderland2007-09-02 04:51:46回複悄悄話
Check this message, touch my heart deeply. When I was with you, you always busy, once I leave you alone, you miss me more.
Wish some day, we can stay whole day during the holiday. But I could not expect it happen during this life. You are such busy, and you will more busy in furture, As you know you will have more business and you also want to be hide your feeling.
You even tried to blam me as you did broken my heart, in order to make some other one feel better about you.
Even things happen like this, I still love you. Is something wrong with me? Love !!!
mywonderland2007-09-01 20:11:50回複悄悄話
It's a quite night now. Nobiody here. Only me is thinking about you. What are you doing now? in party, or driving on high way? even day time, I was still calculating where are you now. Hope you had a goood vacation. I am thinking about your softness, your love and your everything now. At same time, to read your previous love letter. Used to be always busy and busy, hardly having time to sit down and read and write.
mywonderland2007-08-28 20:14:55回複悄悄話
Tried to call you several times today. May be you are busy. These several days, actually I am very busy inside out. For the outside, this week, I have three presenations for Tech Review. For the inside, I brought a new TV and have to mount to the wall. Second day, I have return this TV. I could not return, Third day, I have to do again and brought a new one again to mount into wall again.Plus, every evening, there are numerous meetings. Now, finally, had some time.
I just want to see how are you these two days when are outside. Hope you are take care of your self. I miss you and thinking about you all the time even with a little bit time open. It's hard to put nice word here. "miss you" and "thinking about you" is enough to speak for its self.
mywonderland2007-08-24 21:22:28回複悄悄話
Actually, we spend equal time on this site. Only thing is you are waiting for me, and I am waiting for you.Recently, we are just too busy with each others things. no feeling changed. I am not like you that your feeling change from moment to moment. too high and too low is not good. Keep love you all the time and all the same.
mywonderland2007-08-23 20:43:28回複悄悄話
Hope that is your real feeling, nog just copy other one's pome. When we stay together, you treat me as a real man. so gental and understanding. When we separate, you talk to me over the phone, looks like a big boy, make me laughing and angry. Thinking about your all aspect, I only can say 愛屋及烏。I love you!
mywonderland2007-08-23 20:32:03回複悄悄話
With time change, did your feeling change? I cannot see you here long time. Where are you? You real forget me? If you don't want come here any more, I will change to new account and kick you off.
mywonderland2007-08-20 21:12:15回複悄悄話
I am here to feel your feeling. You words make me laughing. What your means for writing somethings? I am missing you, thinking about you right now. Hope you can feel the same way. Wish I could stay with you right now. hold me, kiss me, touch me and love me.
mywonderland2007-08-19 20:39:36回複悄悄話
this good words
上邪，我欲與君相知。長命無絕衰。山無陵，江水為竭。冬雷震震，夏雨雪。天地合，乃敢與君絕
mywonderland2007-08-18 20:07:25回複悄悄話
Enjoying your trip, take care your family and youself. It is not easy for you have a time relax. You always are too busy, so have a good relax.
mywonderland2007-08-18 04:34:45回複悄悄話
Miss you from your country here. Thinking about when I drive by your home. Take care of your self
mywonderland2007-08-12 14:35:52回複悄悄話
Actually, I was very nusy since yesterday evening. This morning, I sent our babaysiter to airport, and bring kids to zoo. up to now, don't have even time to check. Don't guess something. Keep happy. I love you.
mywonderland2007-08-11 06:22:45回複悄悄話
I will be very busy whole day today. Hope to setele done everything smoothly. Once I finish my side, I will contact you. Don't worry about me.
I felt like physically more live close you, your heart more far away me. Maybe that just my feeling because it is too busy. Everything will be ok.
mywonderland2007-08-10 19:59:51回複悄悄話
Where are you right now. I did not see any word from you
mywonderland2007-08-09 20:54:47回複悄悄話
These couple of days, you don't have access at home. Hope you can have a good time to have a good sleep. You will be vey busy in next several weeks. Take care of yourself.
mywonderland2007-08-07 04:07:54回複悄悄話
TRy to be happy alll the time. Sometime, there will be some un-known un-constrolable things happen. But still keep happy. For example, whne you told me what is going to happen in next several weeks, I am not very happy at begining. However, after thoughts, I think that this is un-controlable, not by you and not by me. You have to do whatever have to do. After that, I am not "un-Happy". Actually, it shows that you are a so good woman who care about kids and family. Then, we can think about how to best solve the issue. We always can solve the problem one way or another.
mywonderland2007-08-06 17:50:23回複悄悄話
It is NOT I don't want to some here to write. Actually, I written at Sartuday. Since then, we are constatant talking.
Now, I found a problem, everytime, after we had good time, you will create some issue. Now, you said that "Even you want to stay away from me (I know is not this time)you can write here". I did not say this. This is your accusation to me. I just feel good and enjoy now. Hope you too.
mywonderland2007-08-06 16:49:29回複悄悄話
Sounds like you are not going to come here any more. Even you had time you would not check here. I wish we could always share the thought and feeling. Even you want to stay away from me (I know is not this time)you can write here. I am not so weak that I can not bear any problem. I like to face a little bit challenge but not too much.
mywonderland2007-08-05 12:40:32回複悄悄話
Don't disappoint for not meet today. I love you so much. We did not get ready there you know. In addition, I dreamed you all morning that I already exhaused. I still have to handld a lot things here. Kiss you and Love you!!1
mywonderland2007-08-05 09:18:32回複悄悄話
it is not my english problem. I checked the dictionary it is right.Here company means "陪伴,相隨".you even cannot be a normal friend to help me at this point, am I right?
mywonderland2007-08-05 05:33:52回複悄悄話
"I don't know why I can accept your not company"
What is this mean? Could you use Chinese or different English?
mywonderland2007-08-04 20:04:09回複悄悄話
Even your a little bit care, a little bit express your feeling's words touch my heart deeply. I don't know why I can accept your not company and I have to refuse other people's help. Perhaps I already get used to do anything by myself. But really anwser is for love you. Want to stay with you alone.
mywonderland2007-08-04 19:45:43回複悄悄話
I am thinking about you and want you. Since 女人is 被動. So woman could be always thinking about and miss about the man and sending the signals out. and the man is always 主動. Man not only needs to thinking about you. Man need to find a way to thinking about you and want you. Now, I am try to find a good time to have you.
mywonderland2007-08-04 05:19:56回複悄悄話
This weekend, you will be prety hard. Hope you still take a rest at your busy time. I love you.
mywonderland2007-08-04 05:19:04回複悄悄話
I tried to send to this blog last night. It frozen.
This article is very fit. you and me need to read a couple more times. what do you think?
mywonderland2007-08-03 17:33:34回複悄悄話
I think you will like this artical below
如果你今天還熱衷於純粹地做1號或者0號，隻能說你快要落伍了。現在時尚流行的是中性性別，是提倡男人和女人在性生活中彼此平等、尊重；提倡不拘泥於傳統性別角色的影響，即男人必須主動，女人必須被動；提倡男人和女人在性生活中充分地發掘自己的潛能，並且將這種潛能建設性地運用到他們的性生活中。
mywonderland2007-08-03 01:42:27回複悄悄話
"I would like to get your opinion about "如果你想下半輩子不安寧，你就找個小情人". Do you want to get a peace life or you would like to get a trouble life? "
I would like to have a peace life, and at same time, a happy life. Becareful here, the key word is "小". if it is not "小情人", I think it is not necessary to be "trouble life".
mywonderland2007-08-01 20:17:36回複悄悄話
I would like to get your opinion about "如果你想下半輩子不安寧，你就找個小情人". Do you want to get a peace life or you would like to get a trouble life?
mywonderland2007-07-31 19:17:12回複悄悄話
What I said that we don't want to seek trouble. Actually, we want to find way to avoid. I always thinking that crossing the border is one of scarest things to do, because you never know what is INS people try to do. IN US, you don't fight with IRS and INS people, try to avoid them.
Now, you are super sensitive to everything, like a woman. There are 100 pieces love information and you will only pick one piece of possible vagued information to analysis such as what I said "punishment". What I mean is that the price today we pay extra is about three hours on the road, plus a possible medical emergency situation which you realy cannot predict and control.
Be positive and Be happy. Loving each other is always fair. I love you and you love me are always fair.
mywonderland2007-07-31 17:26:58回複悄悄話
I would like you action more and talk more. Don't just copy past my words. Open your heart, have me get in it. When I was driving today, I was just thinking, thinking, thinking about your every detail things. You really love me right? even you had a little bit trouble today. If you thought that was a punish, maybe you will face more difficult later. If that will scare away you from me? I like to be with you more than you like to stay with me. That is not fair.
mywonderland2007-07-30 18:33:17回複悄悄話
Man's saddest thing is he cannot do action. Woman's saddest thing is she cannot talking.
OK. Do you want to switch? I will talk more, and you will do action more. You you like this?
Actually, as a man, or a real man, his responsibility is to solve his lover's un-happyness. If she is happy, everything is fine. Man ia man, man don't try to create something un-happy if it is happy. If that is the case, you will accuse him being like a woman. Woman is a talking "animal". Man is an action "animal". You don't want to change this too much until you don't like it. What I mean is that, you, being like a woman, a real woman, you should talk, talk, and talk. At same time, me, being like a man, should not talk too much unless you have some trouble, e.g. if you are "sad". Man should put into action, real man's action will create real woman's response and talking. Is that right?!
mywonderland2007-07-30 18:09:36回複悄悄話
If that is the case, here this is alos what I say:
I love you, miss you,think you, dream you,hold you, kiss you.
mywonderland2007-07-30 18:04:55回複悄悄話
I love you, miss you,think you, dream you,hold you, kiss you.
mywonderland2007-07-30 17:54:07回複悄悄話
Actually in you heart, you like me feel sad. When I wrote words to express our love feeling for you, you just grabbed and enjoy by youself. No any respons to me. But If I write sad words here, you can write words touch my heart. I would like to hear you say you miss me and love me.
mywonderland2007-07-30 17:40:08回複悄悄話
I cannot find his phone number but I write a email to him.
mywonderland2007-07-29 16:34:09回複悄悄話 I have to give someone credit for these words that really wrote what I like to say to you:
我的心裏都是你,你牽引著我的全部,舉手投足,一顰一笑
我知道,有一天你會離我而去,我會感到幸福,一輩子愛著你,等著你.
活出自己的精彩.
mywonderland2007-07-29 16:20:58回複悄悄話
Just forget the second message. My birthday and blood type has been decided. I will be what I were used to be per your theory. I will be the person you like to be.
I come her and write here that means I miss you and I want to talk to you even sometimes very dark night.
My heart is transparence to you and open to you. I also believe that so do you. Otherwise, how we can love each other so much.
Don't just educated me. I like to hear lovely words.
I fell soory to see that "I am totally lost myself". It's my fault to too much corner you using B-type/Dec-BirthDay type of "theory". You don't have to keep this in mind too much.
Loot at me, I supposed to know this best as I said that I have already studied these stuff way during college and graduate school. I think that I am a worst case if apply the "theory" to my life. I am just pretend to be optimistic.
Back to your "Dec-type of person" both in work and life. Don't worry about, you cannot change your self. You don't have to change. You are wahtever you are I will love you. It is bad idea if you want to change yourself. Keep whatever you are right now and be yourself, I always love you.
You certainly can say whatever here. At same time, don't worry what my comments to put here. Like you said, this is a place to write what you cannot say in daily life.
The only word I need you to remeber is "Be Happy!" I try to make you happy if I see you are not happy here. If you are still not happy, it is still my fault.
mywonderland2007-07-29 05:53:19回複悄悄話
Your two messages are too differently.
First message is look like what we have talked in the day together.
Second message is alos a little bit get me lost. I amy need to talk to you face to face to understand what exactly your meaning. However, if I guess what you mean, you may want to say that sometime, it's hard to me always Dec-working, B-type in life. Sometime, you will be a little bit un-balance.
Actually, these are just what our talks, Don't take too serious about so called "my thoery". I have already proved "my theory" wrong using my life time experience. I will write again. I have to go now.
mywonderland2007-07-29 01:35:12回複悄悄話
I am totally lost myself. I come here to face you again. I really really miss you and want to talk to you here. You don't need to take care me just do what you want to do. I don't want to scare you away because my unstable. But at least I can come here talk to you. forget my not consistance and my un-balance but that is me. I am not sure if I will become the person work as B-type and life as December. But I hope you still love me. whether or not that means: someday when you don't love me, I am certainly a December's life person. If that is possible that I am work as December person and feeling as December person too?
mywonderland2007-07-28 19:33:50回複悄悄話
I am so tired today, but I still want to come here to say love you before get bed. I am so happy because I can stay with you longer than I expected. "愛我你怕了嗎? 愛如能無牽無掛,天有什麽辦法?" I really like these words that is my real feeling now. Love you,love you, wish love you foever. I am the one "敢愛,敢恨,感失去" 為愛不考慮代價!
mywonderland2007-07-27 20:20:07回複悄悄話
The copy/paste article is a prety good one to read!
Back you what you have written, It is may be same situation in our both sides. There are some worries when we are both at very happy time. We don't want to lose the happy time current we have. At same time, we are worry about what-if. What if some outside force involved? Not only my reputation, also your reputation too. That is why let's discuss.
As for what you said "But if I am B-type work person+ December man personality what you are going to do with me?"
If you are "B-type work person+ December man personality", you would be the worst person to be around for anybody, not even to mention me (Susan was looking like that type of person). In fact, you are not that type of person. However, in last two or three days of your behaviour, you are try to go to that direction. Things are that you don't know how to change and just change to a wrong direction. I am sure that you would figure out after a couple weeks by yourself. I may not need to point out and you can correct it by yourself. I will not like yourself if you are B-type work person+ December man personality.
mywonderland2007-07-27 18:36:13回複悄悄話
You make me laughing, I am not so scare to be a opposit person. But if I am B-type work person+ December man personality what you are going to do with me?
You are a such kind of person whom I try to protect and love in heart. I am thinking of the best way to maitain your reputation and your career.
I try very hard to be away from you, but all planing was messed up by your action. So that "想不想你都不行". The word below deed my feeling
知道你在那裏
我假裝不在意
突然沒看見你
我急得四處找你
你沒入網海
已無蹤影
為何我還在這裏
傻傻地等你
任憑那
磅礴的淚滴
灑滿地
我決定不想你
想你忘了自己
一網情深歸何處
丹心一片在夢裏
想不開
窗外飄著綿綿細雨
情不斷心太亂
想著昨夜星星
哼著曲
不想你
算不算一場勝利
不想你
我隻想共振的頻率
不想你
我隻想天邊的約定
想你，不想你！
想你，不偏不倚！
mywonderland2007-07-26 20:22:54回複悄悄話
Look at your titles here:
"my heart always with you";
"This is a space here only belong to you and me."
"Soar with your soul"
"mywonderland, 32歲"
This should be you!
However, Now you are changing to
"my heart wants to go away from you";
"This is the space here belong to you, and I will have another space for me."
"Drop with your soul"
"mywonderland, 64歲"
mywonderland2007-07-26 20:17:44回複悄悄話
I don't know what make are so low these two days when you are so high after you are back from far away place. You have balanced personality ( B + December). Try to balance in a "good" side, and not in "bad" direction. May be you are always in some kind of "contridiction state. After you are "thinking" you are go one direction "too much" (only your own thoughts", you want to find some "hints" go to the oppsite direction. That's fine as long as this is temporey thing, and it's your mind fighting. But always try to remeber that it is "B-personal life + Dec-working" type of woman to make you are so unique, and always young. Your high intelligence should make you saty at this direction of balance and not oppsite side.
mywonderland2007-07-26 19:58:29回複悄悄話
When I am thinking about how to create to safe environment, you are suddenly thinking about different direction--"guilt", "independent", "fresh air", ...,... You are changing from B-type of soft lover character to December-type of strong woman too quick. Try to be stable. In your lifem it realy need a B-blood type of soft, 感情豐富、充滿幻想's woman. This make you are so attractive. In your working environment, you need to keep December type strong woman which can compete with anyone and anything. Don't try to switch. It will be a very terrible thing. Think about if you bring December type to personal life which you will be look like a man, and bring B-type of soft character into working which will be like someone else.
mywonderland2007-07-26 17:46:55回複悄悄話
don't want you feel too guilt. don't want me too dependent on you in thinking. Try to be free from current situation. breath fresh air, try to be back myself. In case, you thought I lost eveything but thinking you only. At that moment you will feel boring.
mywonderland2007-07-22 19:11:25回複悄悄話
I am care more for this part below. The result is not good for the woman with affair. How to avoid this tragedy happen on me that is what I consider. Please help!
隻有當婚外情接近尾聲，女人才會悲哀地發現愛情的脆弱和男人的無情，才會發現婚外的激情，永遠不可能取代健康婚姻的平淡、真摯和踏實。愛情總是盲目的，正是這種盲目，成就了天下無數幸福的婚姻，也造成了無數女人終生的悔恨。女人的天生重情，使她們注定要在一個強大的男人社會，因為非正常的感情而付出遠比男人高昂的代價。
何處是女人婚外情的歸路？
mywonderland2007-07-22 18:54:03回複悄悄話
This is a very good article. I am still try to understand it. Most of them is exactly like talking about you. What do you think? Here are a couple of similarities to you:
mywonderland2007-07-22 13:21:34回複悄悄話
Hope you can come here to meet with me soon. This call from my heart, could you feel it? Miss you, miss you, the weekend is so long. But anyway, I cannot blem you because you did not know this new space. I deeply know all your love is belong to them. Perhps there are only a little corner is for me in your heart. Even that I am not regret, I might refuse this choice, but I accepted this.
It is funning and humors. What is your next expectation a man or woman? wish I will stay with you next life.
Love you
I try to change my life, think of you less and do some other things more. But sometimes I cannot help myself. If I were you, I would like to know that some one miss you so much, you should be very happy.
Miss you thinking every details of your words and smile, think of you, want to hold you more longer. Hit you, why I cannot forget you? Love you
有一種感覺總在失眠時，才承認是“相思”；
有一種緣分總在夢醒後，才相信是“永恒”；
有一種目光總在分手時，才看見是“眷戀”；
有一種心情總在離別後，才明白是“失落”。
I am glad to see you here to check the artical. Wish you have a good moon holiday. To be remembered, when the full moon in the sky, I am thinking about you. I wish you could saty with me at that moment, but I know that is not possible because you have more love and more responsibility. Wish some day, you could give me more love than the love I gave to you.
As you said I should understand you but I did not behavoir myself for your feeling. I feel shame sometimes but I could not control myself. It should be not me, why I am not strong enough at this aspect. I wish I could like you. maybe you have to know I love you too much. Love.
Eveything is not so fresh for you. There are not long term relationship between us. No words, no communication here. For me it was a long long time, it is hard for me to forget you, but I have to try. I will go back to the time without you. Maybe I should get used to that easily, but told you true that is really hard like a nightmare. I don't know just feel so sad, so hard to leave you like go to hell. I don't know how long I will keep this feeling but I have to write to you otherwise I will die. I don't know. You don't need to write anything to me, keep your silence till I release myself.
女人要懂得善待自己(轉貼) 2007-09-09 08:15:14
1、如果一個男人開始怠慢你，請你離開他。不懂得疼惜你的男人不要為之不舍，更不必繼續付出你的柔情和愛情。
2、任何時候，不要為一個負心的男人傷心，女人更要懂得，傷心，最終傷的是自己的心。如果那個男人是無情的，你更是傷不到他的心，所以，收拾悲傷，好好生活。
3、永遠不要無休止的圍著你喜歡的那個男人轉，盡管你喜歡得他快要掏心掏肺的死掉了，也還是要學著給他空間，否則，你要小心纏得太緊勒死了他。
4、當一個男人對你說：分手吧。請不要哭泣和流淚，應該笑著說：等你說這話很久了。然後轉身走掉。
5、要相信自己，善待自己，讓自己的生活精彩紛呈。不要誤認為是要讓某個人後悔，而是為了讓自己的人生更精彩。
6、對善意欣賞你的男子回報淺淺的微笑。
7、如果可以不抽煙，別抽。如果可以不喝酒，別喝。
8、再鬱悶也不要去泡酒吧。一個孤獨的女子手握高腳杯或者抽煙，會更添寂寞感與憂傷。
9 、不要貪慕虛榮。虛榮是一劑毒藥，而且會上癮。
10、要有幾個死黨，獨自一人的時候，保證還能有死黨為你端茶送水。而不是聲竭力嘶的嚎叫為什麽說愛你的那個人不能來陪你。
11、不要和男人動手。第一，你動不過他；第二，和你動手的男人一定是個瘋子。所以，不如不動。
12、外出旅遊。旅行中的心靈可以更充實。
13、有喝下午茶、閱讀書 本、聽音樂的習慣。
14、買適合自己的衣服、飾物。適合你的就是最好的，所以不必羨慕別人的行頭。
15、不要接受你不喜歡的男子送的任何禮物。
16、知道自己要什麽，包括你愛的男人。
17、對你不喜歡的追求者的示好和關心堅定的說不和拒絕。
18、認真地對待你的工作。工作也許不如愛情來的讓你心跳，但至少能保證你有飯吃，有房子住，而不確定的愛情給不了這些，所以，認真努力地工作。
19、不要愛上已婚卻還對你信誓旦旦說會拋妻棄子迎娶你的男人。如果他們真的沒感情，自然會離婚，而不是整日對你說些莫名其妙的話。
20、記住你喜歡的人的生日，包括你的家人，當然，還有自己。
21、你可以去愛一個男人，但是不要把自己的全部都賠進去。沒有男人值得你用生命去討好。你若不愛自己，怎麽能讓別人愛你？
22、偶爾做美女私房菜給他或者老友吃。但不要天天做，你生來不是為了某個人天天下廚房的。
23、閑情時候自己煮花茶喝或者做茶點吃，放一段柔情音樂，翻閱幾頁好書，然後睡個懶覺，快哉。
24 、如果發短信息給你喜歡的人，他不回。不要再發。
25、萬一脆弱的不行了，請選好哭泣的對象，不要隨便借肩膀和胸膛。
26、一個人去看電影。買爆米花和可樂，笑翻天。或者，淚流滿麵。如果你喜歡體育，去看足球，哭死也沒人管你，但是很輕鬆和暢快。
27、不要為了任何人任何事折磨自己。比如不吃飯、哭泣、自閉、抑鬱，這些都是傻瓜才做的事。當然，偶爾傻一下有必要，人生不必時時聰明。
28、任何情況下，背後不說他人是非。如果一定要你說，說好話。
29、愛護你的手，它是你的第二張臉，但不是為此你不需要分擔任何家務。
30、愛父母，每周一次打電話或者抽時間共進晚餐。
31、居室要有鮮花，記得換水。如果要出差，清理之後再出門，不要回來麵對一屋子的蚊子和蟲子。
32、想吃就吃。為了保持身材讓自己餓著，那是世界上最愚蠢的美麗。
33、如果男人以他忙為理由，不來探你的病情，不回你的郵件，不關心你的現狀，不能和你承擔生活的重負，無法給你勇氣。勇敢一點，自動離開。沒有什麽比自己關心自己來得實在。而一個不愛你的人，你付出的再多，他再好，那也不過是浪費時間和精力。
34、學會承受痛苦。有些話，適合爛在心裏，有些痛苦，適合無聲無息的忘記。當經曆過，你成長了，自己知道就好。很多改變，不需要你自己說，別人會看得到。
35、有時間的話，去學瑜伽或者跆拳道。前者能讓你放鬆身心，後者可以防身。
36、家裏和辦公室分別空出一格抽屜放零食。
有的人可能一生得不到愛情，但沒有人一生不渴望得到愛情。
愛情注定充滿了玄機和劫數，它如同我們必得的一場病，怎麽躲藏都不會躲過，你敢說，這一生，你不會感冒一次？
愛情其實就是我們得的病。我們為此病入膏肓，在劫難逃，愛上了，就無路可逃，所有的酸甜苦辣讓我們嚐遍，但沒有一個人會讓愛情走開，即使苦多於甜，辣多於酸，又有什麽關係？因為我們那麽願意為愛受罪。
甚至可以把愛情當藥吃，以毒攻毒。
我的朋友梅是一個美麗的女子，從十七歲開始初戀到現在，沒有一次戀愛是一帆風順的，不是被人拋棄就是婚姻變故，但她是快樂的，每次有了新愛情，她就會麵若桃花。在我的記憶中，她至少戀愛了五次以上，每次都是驚心動魄的，可以和瓊瑤阿姨的小說相媲美，每次都說傷透了心不再愛了，但下次看到她時，卻又總是為了愛情而在煩惱。
後來她說，怎麽可能不愛呢？愛情就是一件以毒攻毒的事，愛情是一場病，病了就要吃藥，吃什麽藥？隻能吃愛情，因為隻有愛情能拯救愛情。
我被她的理論驚呆。卻又看到她活得生機盎然像一朵太陽花一樣；而另一個朋友，卻是另一種樣子，她也要把愛情當藥吃，但那藥卻治不了她，因為她吃的是一種癡情藥，相戀八年的男友離她而去，她選擇了獨身，把所有的愛和恨埋在記憶中，屋子裏永遠掛著的是二十八歲那年的照片，照片中的男人和女人永遠地相親相愛。愛情於她也是一服藥，卻是一服癡情藥，吃下去，無異於飲鳩止渴，但她心甘情願。女人一旦對愛癡了迷，就是戲台上的戲子，上了妝，由不得自己，隻有唱下去——盡管結局早就安排好了，但是，誰知道愛情到底是怎麽回事！即使你流盡眼淚，即使你永遠追求，它像一顆星星一樣，看起來離你很近，其實離你很遠。
但我喜歡敢把愛情當藥吃的女子。這樣的女子，有令人肝腸寸斷的癡，有著無所畏懼的率真，比起那些把愛情看做一場遊戲的人來說，這樣的女子，和她愛上一場，死也心甘。
因為有時，愛情就是一副甜蜜的藥，它可以讓我們悲情的心，漸漸地歡愉起來。
一顆心 隱隱作痛
點燃的一團火
伴著淚光 一起跳動
思念把黑夜穿透
一滴淚 流進夢中
顫抖充滿胸口
脆弱的心 隻有你最懂
愛上你愛上痛
甜中酸苦 一遍遍釋放衝動
愛上你愛上痛
千絲萬縷 纏綿的情太濃
愛上你愛上痛
相思守候 一天天煎熬時空
愛上你愛上痛
今生今世 你是我癡情的夢
you are everthing in my mind when I was driving. In that way I just supposed I was stay with you and enjoyed with you. How is everything going? Do you have a relax holiday? I don't know when you will have a relaxed day? and stay with me a whole day.
如果一個男人和一個女人的關係是“水”和“油”的關係，那就千萬不要住在一起，更不要結婚，因為那樣對兩個人都是種煎熬。
說婚姻是一座圍城，我不相信。說婚姻是愛情的墳墓，我更不相信。我隻相信男人和女人這兩種“液體”是否能夠相溶，如果你能找到能夠和你相溶的“液體”，就不是墳墓，是樂園；而如果不幸找到的是不能與你相溶的“液體”，那兩個人的關係就是地獄。
男人女人是兩種液體，要找到那種適合你的液體才對。婚姻並不可怕，關鍵是要找對人。
Wish some day, we can stay whole day during the holiday. But I could not expect it happen during this life. You are such busy, and you will more busy in furture, As you know you will have more business and you also want to be hide your feeling.
You even tried to blam me as you did broken my heart, in order to make some other one feel better about you.
Even things happen like this, I still love you. Is something wrong with me? Love !!!
I just want to see how are you these two days when are outside. Hope you are take care of your self. I miss you and thinking about you all the time even with a little bit time open. It's hard to put nice word here. "miss you" and "thinking about you" is enough to speak for its self.
I will add more ;ater.
雖然不是初戀的年紀，但是這種愛的能力使的心變的年輕起來。我希望永遠愛著你，因愛而癡迷下去。你呢? 是否有和我一樣的心裏?
我會想我的愛人所想, 我希望他能在我的麵前全然釋放自己, 我也希望他能嗬護我,替我著想.
我始終相信愛是相互呼應.隻要心中有愛,無論是婚外情或是其他感情, 愛就是神聖的. 我不想總是自責自己.
你是否悟出了愛的道理? 或隻是追求夾縫裏的偷情?
有相無心相從心滅，有心無相相從心生
----書雲，要知心裏事，但看眼神清，眼乃心之門戶，觀其眼之善惡，必知心事之好歹，其心正則眸子必正眼視上其心必高，眼視下心有感思，眼轉動而不言，心有疑慮；眼視斜而口是心非，益已害人，言不可聽；眼正視，其人中正，入黨無偏，眼惡心必惡，眼善心必慈，有陰鴛者，或救人難厄，或救人危險，濟人貧窮，救人性命，不淫不亂，財寬量大容物。人俱有紫黃容紅氣色．發見於眼下．臥蠶之宮．印堂福堂之住．縱相貌不如．其心田好．終有富貴．若相貌堂堂，心事奸險，縱然富貴，不日貧窮。書雲﹔未觀相貌先看心田，有相無心相從心滅，有心無相相從心生，昔裴度還帶，宋郊渡蟻，廉頗扶危救人過渡，各千金不受，本是不貴之相，後反大貴而陰陽扶之。聲音宜響亮，出自丹田，臍下一寸是也。聲響如雷灌耳，或如銅鍾玉韻，或如甕中之聲，或如銅鑼銅鼓，或如金聲，或聲長尾大如鼓之響，俱要清潤，縱相貌不如，亦主富貴。或人小聲大，人大聲雄，俱要深遠，丹田所出，此富貴綿遠之相也。夭折貧賤之人，聲輕聲噎，聲浮聲散，聲低聲小，或如破鑼破鼓，語音焦枯，聲大尾焦，聲雄不圓。書雲，富貴之聲出於丹田，夭賤之人，聲出舌端，或有餘韻，縱焦枯烈，早年虛耗，晚主發達矣。
----訣曰：言未舉而色先變，話末盡而氣先絕，俱夭賤之人。觀聲音，知為相之根本，觀陰陽，知為相之元神，形貌莫外乎聲音，陰陽部位不好，有此相者，競許富貴﹒但聲音響亮者﹐雖貧終能發達，不必狐疑。
可是我不能拒絕心中的感覺，
看看藍藍的天，摸摸真實的臉，
我的心情你要理解。
我不想說我很親切；我不想說我很純潔，
可是我不能拒絕心中的感覺，
想想長長的路，擦擦腳下的鞋，
不管明天什麽季節！
一樣的天，一樣的臉，
一樣的我就在你麵前，
一樣的路，一樣的鞋，
我不能沒有你的世界！
可是我不能忘記你的笑臉，
看看藍藍的天，摸摸真實的臉，
不管明天什麽季節！
上邪，我欲與君相知。長命無絕衰。山無陵，江水為竭。冬雷震震，夏雨雪。天地合，乃敢與君絕
我想你, 在這兒胡思亂想, 在這兒胡說八道, 不知是給你講還是給我講? 看看上麵的文章,我是不是那其中的一重人? 我是第幾種人?
一生就是為了找尋愛的過程，每個人的人生都要找到四個人：
第一個是自己,
第二個是你最愛的人，
第三個是最愛你的人，
第四個是共度一生的人.
首先會遇到你最愛的人，然後體會到愛的感覺：因為了解被愛的感覺，所以才能發現最愛你的人：但很悲哀的，在現實生活中，這三個人通常不是同一個人； 你最愛的，往往沒有選擇你最愛你的，往往不是你最愛的：而最長久的，偏偏不是你最愛也不是最愛你的，隻是在最適合的時間出現的那個人。
你，會是別人生命中的第幾個人呢？ 沒有人是故意要變心的，他愛你的時候是真的愛你，可是他不愛你的時候也是真的不愛你了，他愛你的時候沒有辦法假裝不愛你；同樣的，他不愛你的時候也沒有辦法假裝愛你 。
當一個人不愛你要離開你，你要問自己還愛不愛他，如果你也不愛他了，千萬別為了可憐的自尊而不肯離開；如果你還愛他，你應該會希望他過得幸福快樂，希望他跟真正愛的人在一起，絕不會阻止， 你要是阻止他得到真正的幸福，就表示你已經不愛他了，而如果你不愛他，你又有什麽資格指責他變心呢？愛不是占有，你喜歡月亮，不可能把月亮拿下來放在臉盆裏，但月亮的光芒仍可照進你的房間。換句話說，你愛一個人，也可以用另一種方式擁有，讓愛人成為生命裏的永恒回憶。 如果你真愛一個人，就要愛他原來的樣子─愛他的好，也愛他的壞：愛他的優點，也愛他的缺點，絕不能因為愛他，就希望他變成自己所希望的樣子，萬一變不成就不愛他了。
真正愛一個人是無法說出原因的，你隻知道無論何時何地、心情好壞，你都希望這個人陪著你；真正的感情是兩人能在最艱苦中相守，也就是沒有絲毫要求。畢竟，感情必須付出，而不是隻想獲得；分開是一種必然的考驗，如果你們感情不夠穩固，隻好認輸，真愛是不會變成怨恨的。兩人在談情說愛的時候，最喜歡叫對方發誓，許下承諾我們為什麽要對方發誓，就是因為我們不相信對方，我們根本不相信情人，而這些山盟海誓又很不切實際，海枯石爛、地老天荒，都不能改變我對你的愛! 明知道海不會枯、石不會爛、地不會老、天不會荒；就算會，也活不到那時候。
許下諾言的時候千萬注意，不要許下可以實現的諾言，最好是承諾做不到的事，反正做不到的，隨便說說也不要緊，請記住：”不可能實現的諾言最動人” 在愛情裏，說的是一套，做的是另一套；講的人不相信，聽的人也不相信。你呢？找到了第幾個？
茫茫人海中，你遇見了誰？誰又遇見了你
拉圖說，對於年輕人，更正確地說 —— 對於剛開始生活的人，愛情就在於他所愛的人的身體的愛。隻有在她的身體上，他才看到物質世界的全部的美。然後，一個人就從身體走向心靈。隨著一個人所獲得的知識的程度，他也開始看到他所愛的人的精神的美。這種美慢慢就超越了身體的美。
這是從具象的美到意象的美的過程。不過，如同愛情本身不可按對錯是非歸類一樣，愛情意象也是不可按愛情的歸屬來歸類的。
經典的愛情意象必定表現了人類愛情的某些永恒內涵，因而具有永恒的價值。人生如夢，一瞬間事耳。然而，在人生個人夢境中唯一閃光者，不惟愛之意象乎？在浮躁的現代生活中，在浮躁的現代情感中，人們浮在人生的表麵，不複關心永恒，不複關心終極，於是隻遊戲人生隻縱情於聲色快餐，終致冷落了愛之無常中那僅有的寶貴的永恒。
其實，這所謂寶貴所謂永恒，正是人生愛情中之至為重要至為經典的那種既具有個人獨特體驗又兼具人類之愛共性的 “ 意象 ” 。這 “ 意象 ” ，既存在於千古傳誦的經典愛情故事中，又存在於每一個曾經為愛瘋狂、為愛癡迷、為愛傷心、為愛失望的人的心淵的深處。
在人生愛情中，重要的不是行為，也不是結果，而是溺陷其中或超然其外的人們的精神和態度。真正的愛隻關涉個人的靈魂。
愛情困難，愛情短暫，愛情不可靠，愛使人煩惱，說到愛就使人想罵娘 …… 但是，你到底不能否認，你曾經憧憬過盼望過幻想過探求過即使你是愛的失敗者批判者反對者，人間確實是有那麽一個叫作愛情的真東西的。
這個真東西在現實中難以求證，在文學藝術中難以確信，在個人的預期中不太可靠 …… 但它卻在你的夢中出現過，在那些還留在你心裏閃光的詩中發現過，在你的靈魂裏留存過 —— 如果你能感受自己的靈魂的話。
如果說 “ 愛情 ” 一詞在一個心靈逐漸鏽蝕的時代越來越失去其魅力、神聖和價值，越來越受到懷疑、嘲諷和否定的話，那麽我們討論愛情信念愛情意象愛情態度便顯得格外引人注目與不合時宜。但是，靈魂問題終究是回避不了的。
盡管愛情的身影在現實中顯得很單薄，那隻是因為，塵俗十分巨大，十分沉重，單薄的肉體幾乎不能負載它；威脅愛情的種種因素導致了愛的艱難，愛的脆弱；靈魂隻能演變成幽靈。但即便如此，幽靈也仍然在行走，幽靈依舊未曾倒下。種種殘缺、陰影、衝突和庸凡，也不能阻止愛的理想與追尋。
愛情不是一個人對另一個人在物理意義上的簡單功用問題，而是複雜甚至神秘的精神和心理意義上的感受體悟與評價問題，很多人很普通，很多愛情很普通。但總有一些人希望自己能夠不普通，能夠像千古傳誦的可歌可泣的愛情故事中那些主角們那樣，通過某種形式，成為傳奇裏的人物。於是，他們在夢幻中，在愛情意象的氤氳中，將不屬於塵世的靈魂，交給了愛情。
現實畢竟太強大了，塵世畢竟太沉重了，絕大多數人的努力最終完成之時，他們並沒有變成傳奇裏的情聖，反而更加清晰地昭示了處於時代與曆史的悲劇大背景下的男女們的凡人本質。
於是，他們不能飛翔了，即使在想象上也不能飛翔了。因為他們已經曆經滄桑，生命之樹已經鐫刻了太多傷痕。他們隻能手牽手慢慢地走著，麵對麵慢慢地說著，那種表麵平靜下的無奈，那種靈魂的空空如也，跟所有的普通人沒有兩樣。
探究 “ 愛 ” 的意象，也就是探究人性的意象。你信任愛情嗎？是的，但這種信任又是那麽飄忽遊移，那麽不確定，那麽難以把握，危機四伏。就像上帝的靈光，你信任那束光的存在，卻不一定看得見它。為什麽看不見？上帝說：那是因為你原罪沒有肅清；哲學家說：那是因為人性固有的弱點。
愛情其實是人性的表現，是人性的主體部分。探究愛情，會透視人性深處的種種隱秘。你會發現，人們生活於現實的情感生活中，也生活於他們的愛情意象中。前者是他們生活的物質世界、現實世界，後一組意象則象征了他們的心理世界。對這兩種愛的態度，反映了他們對人生對人性的態度，也映現著靈魂孤寂無援的愧疚。
一定有愛這種東西存在，但是它注定艱難，難以把握，它存在於某些事物的深處。它有時會以某種單純浪漫的外表出現，但這種單純與浪漫，在穿越人世艱辛、經曆時光磨礪後往往是脆弱的、易碎的，隻有那些真正對它懷有一腔宗教般熱忱的心靈，才有可能抵達它的深部 ——— 一個光明的、仍然具有單純與浪漫的深部。
愛是一種無法言說的，集結了人類所有精粹的事物。它帶給人們內心為愛所生的巨大內驅力，它總是關涉靈魂
I felt like physically more live close you, your heart more far away me. Maybe that just my feeling because it is too busy. Everything will be ok.
Now, I found a problem, everytime, after we had good time, you will create some issue. Now, you said that "Even you want to stay away from me (I know is not this time)you can write here". I did not say this. This is your accusation to me. I just feel good and enjoy now. Hope you too.
什麽是緣分？有人問隱士。隱士想了一會說：緣是命，命是緣。
此人聽的糊塗，去問高僧。
高僧說：緣是前生的修煉。 這人不解自己的前生如何，就問佛祖。
佛不語，用手指天邊的雲。
這人看去，雲起雲落，隨風東西，於是頓悟：緣不可求的，緣如風，風不定。雲聚是緣，雲散也是緣。
感情也如雲，萬千變化，雲起時洶湧澎湃，雲落時落寞舒緩。感情的事如雲聚雲散，緣分是可遇不可求的風。
世上有很多事可以求，唯緣分難求。茫茫人海，浮華世界，多少人真正能尋覓到自己最完美的歸屬，又有多少人在擦肩而過中錯失了最好的機緣。或者又有多少人有正確的選擇卻站在了錯誤的時間和地點。
有時緣去緣留隻在人一念之間。
人無法更改自己的血緣，骨子裏的東西根深蒂固的難以改變，即使後天的影響可以讓人有無窮的變化空間，最終影響人作出影響自己一生的重大決定之時，人的先天感覺會左右他的進退取舍，這或許方是命運的本來意義。
特別類如感情事，為情所困在所難免，去留聚散真的也許就在一念之間。畢竟這更是兩人的彼此命運性格的交互感應，落花可有意，流水可無情，緣分更如風一樣無狀無形，無可把握。
天下性情中人，世間癡男怨女，為得佳緣，苦盡歲月，又在得失躊躇中感歎，匆匆一生,何為有緣？
其實緣即如風，來也是緣，去也是緣。已得是緣，未得亦是緣。
不管你曾經有多美的夢想，放棄是懶惰，強求也不是手段。
昨夜告訴一個感傷快樂時光流失太快的朋友，原本在一起的那些摯友已不再來了，與其傷感，不如轉念放寬。
相遇是緣，錯過也是緣!
緣來緣去，不必強求！
What is this mean? Could you use Chinese or different English?
This article is very fit. you and me need to read a couple more times. what do you think?
如果你今天還熱衷於純粹地做1號或者0號，隻能說你快要落伍了。現在時尚流行的是中性性別，是提倡男人和女人在性生活中彼此平等、尊重；提倡不拘泥於傳統性別角色的影響，即男人必須主動，女人必須被動；提倡男人和女人在性生活中充分地發掘自己的潛能，並且將這種潛能建設性地運用到他們的性生活中。
對於火辣辣的性愛來說，最具解放意味的是做這樣一場介於0、1之間的0.5式性愛。
他們的困惑
安平和妻子凡妮結婚已經三年了。有人說，婚姻三年是一道坎。用弗洛依德的理論解釋，這道坎主要還是指漸漸趨於平淡的性。安平尚在單身時，就充滿了性的苦悶，他有時覺得，渴望婚姻內的性滿足是他急於結婚的重要原因，所以，三年前抱得美人歸時，他和妻子曾創下了連續七天七夜不下樓，肆意享受男歡女愛的記錄。
但是三年後，他很快感到了許多不滿足，他覺得自己像個開拓者，每次過性生活前，都需要他先發動機器，助燃氣氛，才能慢慢地調動妻子的熱情。
對於許多男人來說，可能覺得這無可厚非，或者天經地義。男人的特點就是要在性生活中扮演主動進攻者，這一方麵滿足男人的征服欲，也符合男人的生物性別特點。但是安平卻不這樣認為，他感覺任何一個男人，如果每次性生活都需要做開拓者，日久天長，也感到累了。
況且，他們總是遵循著傳統的男上女下的傳教士式的姿勢，一年又一年，千篇一律，安平都覺得像做功課一樣，有些膩味了，每次看著妻子被動的承受的臉，甚至有些渴望他盡快結束時地忍耐的神情，他立刻興味索然。安平有點擔心，這樣長久下去，他大概也快要加入“ED(勃起功能障礙)”患者的行列了。
他一直很渴望某一次，妻子像個男人一樣，主動來挑逗他。他做她的俘虜，心甘情願地受她的擺布，那會是多麽美妙的滋味啊，哪個男人不希望女人肆意地享受自己的身體？為什麽好像隻有女人才在性生活中是奉獻者的角色呢？
兩個人感覺彼此之間因為性的缺少漸漸有些隔膜，再後來，妻子生下了一個胖胖的兒子，立即全身心地投入到育兒的工作中，安平自然靠邊站，那一顆躁動的心隻好愈發地心灰意冷了。
一年後，安平居然悲哀地發現，他和妻子本年度性生活次數不超過十二次，也就是有時一個月尚不到一次，他們快要成無性夫妻了。
轉機是在一個周末。那天孩子被送到外婆家，好像為了彌補孕期對丈夫的忽視，有一天，安平下班回家，剛推開門，眼前的情景讓他呆了，暗紅色的窗簾低垂下來，屋裏燈光朦朧，妻子剛沐浴過，長發披散在身後，她熱情地接過他的外套，他們深情地依偎著倒在沙發上時，妻子伏在他的耳邊悄悄地說：“我想要。”
安平事後說妻子的那句“我想要”讓他如被電擊一般，全身立刻興奮起來。
接下來，妻子好像換了個人似的，她為他寬衣解帶，而安平好像一個不解風情的處男一樣，任憑著妻子引導他，他事後說妻子那晚表現得瘋狂而大膽，與以前判若兩人，自始至終，她在控製著主動權，他則被動地聽憑妻子發落，直到他們瘋狂地到達激情的巔峰。
事情過後，他們都驚訝地發現，這一次的體驗是全新的，妻子躺在他懷裏，嬌嗔地問他：“我是不是像個壞女人？我沒想到感覺會那麽好。”
安平心滿意足，他說：“傻瓜，這正是我渴望的呀。”
是什麽阻礙了女人主動
在女性主義的各種思潮正深入地影響著今日兩性關係時，一種新的性愛理論—做一場0.5式的性愛正在流行開來。
0.5式性愛的主要內容提倡男人和女人在性生活中彼此平等、尊重;提倡不拘泥於傳統性別角色的影響，即男人必須主動，女人必須被動；提倡男人和女人在性生活中充分地發掘自己的潛能，並且將這種潛能建設性地運用到他們的性生活中。
這種觀念的提出，無疑是革命性的。
在《海蒂性學報告》中，女人們一直在抱怨，受著傳統男權文化的壓迫，她們在性生活中總處於被支配者的位置，男人們決定了一場性愛應該怎麽做？當他們希望和一個女人上床之前，他們希望這個女人純潔得最好對性一無所知；可是當他們和這個女人到了床上後，他們又希望這個女人風情萬種，甚至變成傳說中的蕩婦。
女人們因此而麵臨著兩難處境在公開的社會文化中，她們很難接受到有關性生活的知識，即便是在有關女性性生活的知識中，她們也教導著要做淑女，要成為羞羞答答的羔羊，等待著男人來征服。所以一旦婚後，女人們發現自己對性幾乎一無所知，她們僅憑著在婚前接受的教育，認為女人上床後，要做的工作就是被動地等待和承受，她們甚至總把性理解為一種不公平的女人為男人的奉獻。像無數的影視鏡頭那樣，女演員一副上刑場般的大義凜然和悲壯地緩緩解開自己的衣服，一邊對她心愛的腥慫擔骸鞍嘲焉磣詠桓?懍耍?憧梢?園掣涸鳶。 ?/p>
當男歡女愛變得如此沉重時，造成大量性冷淡的女人和ED男人也就不足為怪了。
將女人視為性的被動承受者，不但造成女人的性冷淡，性無知，甚至“似乎生來就對性不感興趣”，也傷害了必須在性生活中主動的男人。
男人的外表和內心隨便問一個男人，他們外表上喊著要娶淑女回家，喊著女人在性上越純潔越好，但私底下，大概沒有一個男人，希望娶回家的淑女擺在堂屋上方，成為供奉的神像。如果這個淑女變成了木美人，在床上什麽風情都不解，男人們大概絕望得恨不得要跳樓了。
所以有一句話說是：男人們希望妻子在廚房裏是主婦，在客廳裏是貴婦，在床上是蕩婦，後者恰恰代表了男人的本能和潛意識，是他們心底最真實的渴望。
但為什麽男人對娶回家的女人有如此矛盾的心態呢？在上床前希望女人純潔得一無所知，上床後又希望她風情萬種？
道理不難明白，前者是男權文化的影響，後者是男人的生理本能決定。男權文化一直在教導男人，他們要支配女人，隻有讓女人對性一無所知，否則，好像撒旦的魔鬼一樣，一旦女人深諳性的美妙後，男人們擔心女人是否也會像自己一樣，四處尋歡作樂，更難以控製了？
可是不但女人的本能決定了她們渴望獲得性歡樂，了解性知識，在性生活中主動，富於創新精神，就是男人的本能也決定了他們需要在性上活躍，風情萬種的女人，因為那種認為男人必須主動，女人必須被動的傳統觀點，已經既傷害了女人也傷害了男人。
女性主義的發展推動0.5式性愛的風行環顧四周，我們不難看出各種女人在性領域掌握更多話語權的表現:各種傳媒在給女人講授相關性知識;《欲望都市》中的女人們讓全世界的男人既目瞪口呆又覺得極其可愛;人氣最旺的時尚女明星們不再是那些“純情玉女”而是“性感寶貝”，女人們甚至喊出“不要性騷擾，我要性高潮”的口號。
I would like to have a peace life, and at same time, a happy life. Becareful here, the key word is "小". if it is not "小情人", I think it is not necessary to be "trouble life".
愛上你，卻是我一生的快樂。
I feel honored and lucky. Hope it is truely your happyness for whole life, should say happyness of rest of you life no matter what happen.
愛上你，卻是我一生的快樂。
第一種 美麗的感覺
俗話說情人眼裏出西施，所以在有愛情的時候，你一定會覺得對方最好看，即使有別的異性比你愛的對象好看，但對你而言，他（她）才是你心中最美的一個，而且是別人根本無法相比的。
第二種 親愛的感覺
當你愛上一個人，你會有一種很親切的感覺，跟他（她）在一起，你會覺得很舒服，很和諧。你可以信任並依賴他（她）。他（她）像是一個親密的家人，甚至可以說，比一個家人更親密，而且在這親密裏，你更體會到一份溫馨的感覺－－這就是親愛的感覺。在這個愛情的國度裏，他（她）願意包容你所有的缺點。
第三種 羨慕及尊敬有感覺
一個健康的愛情關係。應當有以對方為榮的感覺，你會欣賞對方所有的一切，包括內在與外在的條件和優點，並且對方也讓你感覺，他（她）處處以你為榮。如果這種感覺存在的話，不論他（她）做這件事是成功或失敗，你都會欣賞他（她）的才華，而不是隻重視結果。
第四種 讚許的愛情
相愛的時候，你是否喜歡誇獎對方，而且不僅是欣賞，或敷衍了事而已，你還會喜歡在他（她）不在的時候向其他人講述他（她）的種種好，哪怕幫你泡一碗方便麵。重要的是，你從誇獎對方的熱誠之中感到無比的快樂。
第五種 受到尊重的自尊
愛情關係可以提高一個人的自尊心，可以讓你感覺到生活更有意義，因為愛情能夠讓你發現，其實你有著無人可比的獨特性，雖然你有優點也有缺點，但是你的獨特性使你受到無比的尊重，生命也因此更有價值。
第六種 占有欲
愛情是絕對獨占的，是不能與他人分享其親密的男女關係，因此，當愛情從不確定走向穩定後，需要以婚姻來持續以後的日子，所以我們在結婚時彼此相約相許。在真實的愛情生活裏，互相許諾忠誠是必要的。
第七種 行動自由
如果一個人有正當的理由，他（她）的行動的自由一定要受到尊重，這樣才不會破壞兩人之間的愛情關係。愛跟著感覺走的人雖然十分令人擔心或生氣，但是對於熱愛隨性生活的人而言，限製或約束一點用都沒有。還不如給他（她）自由、空間。他（她）總會回來的。
第八種 深深的同情
人們對深愛的人常會有憐惜的感覺，經常會為對方考慮，如果對方受到挫折，我們會非常願意為他（她）分擔痛苦與挫折，把對方所受的苦當作自己所遭遇的苦難一樣，或者更勝於自己的苦難，因為在愛情裏，我們願意為對方而犧牲自己的利益。
第九種 生理上的性衝動
當我們在對異性產生興趣或愛上某個異性時，都希望彼此有身體上的接觸。在真實的愛情生活裏，這種欲望是永遠存在的。性衝動並不是單單隻是行為，它還包含了許多其他親密的身體上的接觸，如牽手、擁抱等等，這種情感會永遠存在於愛人心中。
蘆笛：我想要情人
不想是假的，大概世上沒哪個正常的男人不想要情人。妻子再好，也比不上完美無缺的夢中情人。再是國色天香，日久天長也就不新鮮了，何況可惜流年，憂愁風雨，樹猶如此，何況佳人？
這說的當然是當年血氣方剛的我，不是今天垂垂老矣的我。說來也怪，喪失了這種欲望之外，我非但不為自己的道德修養改善而欣慰，卻有一種莫名的惆悵，一種喪失manhood的難言的懊喪。
所以，那“想”字其實是過去時，而悵惘恰是這時態變化引出來的。或許，具有能力和機會而終於沒有作孽，可以構成人生的一種成就感？
不過，那想要而終於未要，其實並不是出於超人的自製，而是出於膽怯和顧慮。
想要情人，無非是兩種原因，要麽是性，要麽是愛。男人沒有愛也能有性，理想的情人，似乎就是那種“事如春夢了無痕”的露水姻緣，太陽出來了，什麽都蒸發了，一切都如霧如煙，無牽無掛，互通有無，豈不痛快？
但若一方弄假成真，墮入愛河呢？如果是自己，豈不要痛苦一世？如果是對方，豈不要負疚終生？且不說無顏以對老妻，那甘苦共嚐、相濡相煦的患難伴侶。
如果是愛，那就更麻煩。情人可不比老妻，可以直麵相對，有意無意之間總免不了欺騙作戲成分，隻把自己優秀的那麵露出來。天長日久之後，對方發現了真相後又何以自處？就算不這樣，萬一對方厭倦了呢？或許因為客觀原因無法再相處下去，那豈不是要斷腸？
追歡逐樂，最後卻深陷無從自拔的煩惱，那又何苦？歡樂從來不會在心靈中拋錨，痛苦才能在記憶中永駐。
所以，想愛而終於不敢愛，那代價太沉重，自我意識太強烈、太重感情、太怕喪失愛的人支付不起。
萬潤南：從蘆兄想要情人說起
我在那邊發文章，蘆兄常就我談到的話題說起，說得話透理徹、文采斐然，令人歎服。在這邊讀到老蘆的《我想要情人》，不禁莞爾。沒想到蘆兄政論文寫得漂亮，抒情散文也寫得如此情真意切、韻味無窮。我也來一篇《從蘆兄想要情人說起》，算是投桃報李吧。
老蘆的悵然若失，大概隻有我這樣的老男人才能體會。年輕的時候，有賊心，沒有賊膽；中年時光，有賊膽，沒有賊心，因為忙事業、顧家庭……；臨老了，賊心還不死，賊膽也足夠，卻發現賊沒了。這種莫名的惆悵、那種難言的懊喪，豈隻是一個愁字了得。
論老蘆的能力和條件，贏得佳人芳心，應當是遊刃有餘。我們那個年代，泡妞的三部曲是：一要痛說革命家史；二要宏觀指導人生；三是直接進入主題。老蘆操弄前二步的才華和能力，我認為幾乎無人能望其項背，隻是不了解進入關鍵的第三步時，老蘆的意誌和決心。也許，正是在這一步，老蘆常常功虧一簧，因此留下無窮的遺憾，落得此恨綿綿無絕期。果如此，我也為之一歎。
老蘆說：“想要情人，無非是兩種原因，要麽是性，要麽是愛。”誠哉斯言。性屬於“色”，愛則是“情”。我在阿成那裏看到過一幅朱新建的畫，寫意水彩，一個戲裝的山大王，一個美人坯子的泥娃娃。有意思的是畫幅上的題詞：“色不能無情，情不能無色。英雄而不邪是死英雄，美人而不淫是泥美人。”看來老蘆是參透了前兩句了，不知對後兩句的理解能到什麽程度。
蘆兄不邪，有時候話說得刻薄點，但字裏行間都透著正氣。老蘆非但不邪，而且是那種家居的好男人。我這裏有文為證：他生怕一旦弄假成真，便“無顏以對老妻，那甘苦共嚐、相濡相煦的患難伴侶。”難得的好男人啊。
不過，女人眼中的好男人，似乎還有別的條件。我記得張愛玲曾說過女人眼中的男人。如果男人調戲女人，女人就會說，這不是個好人。如果男人不調戲她，她又會說，這不是個男人。可見做好男人難哪！我一輩子都沒達到好男人的標準。不是被人罵不是男人，就是被人罵不是好人。現在老了，好不好、男不男，都無所謂了。
老蘆寫此文，可見還有點賊心不死。我作為過來人，勸兄一句：此事想想可以，真實行起來，麻煩無窮。錢鍾書在什麽地方說過：如果你想一個禮拜不安寧，你就請客；如果你想半年不安寧，你就搬家；如果你想下半輩子不安寧，你就找個小情人。人生有三大忌諱：少年得誌、中年折翅、臨老入花叢。我不幸已經攤上了前兩宗，如果再犯上第三忌，沒準就會要了我的老命。
這些話，年輕人是聽不懂的。就算是我們老頭子在這裏喃喃自語吧。
Now, you are super sensitive to everything, like a woman. There are 100 pieces love information and you will only pick one piece of possible vagued information to analysis such as what I said "punishment". What I mean is that the price today we pay extra is about three hours on the road, plus a possible medical emergency situation which you realy cannot predict and control.
Be positive and Be happy. Loving each other is always fair. I love you and you love me are always fair.
OK. Do you want to switch? I will talk more, and you will do action more. You you like this?
Actually, as a man, or a real man, his responsibility is to solve his lover's un-happyness. If she is happy, everything is fine. Man ia man, man don't try to create something un-happy if it is happy. If that is the case, you will accuse him being like a woman. Woman is a talking "animal". Man is an action "animal". You don't want to change this too much until you don't like it. What I mean is that, you, being like a woman, a real woman, you should talk, talk, and talk. At same time, me, being like a man, should not talk too much unless you have some trouble, e.g. if you are "sad". Man should put into action, real man's action will create real woman's response and talking. Is that right?!
I love you, miss you,think you, dream you,hold you, kiss you.
I have to give someone credit for these words that really wrote what I like to say to you:
我的心裏都是你,你牽引著我的全部,舉手投足,一顰一笑
我知道,有一天你會離我而去,我會感到幸福,一輩子愛著你,等著你.
活出自己的精彩.
I come her and write here that means I miss you and I want to talk to you even sometimes very dark night.
My heart is transparence to you and open to you. I also believe that so do you. Otherwise, how we can love each other so much.
Don't just educated me. I like to hear lovely words.
I fell soory to see that "I am totally lost myself". It's my fault to too much corner you using B-type/Dec-BirthDay type of "theory". You don't have to keep this in mind too much.
Loot at me, I supposed to know this best as I said that I have already studied these stuff way during college and graduate school. I think that I am a worst case if apply the "theory" to my life. I am just pretend to be optimistic.
Back to your "Dec-type of person" both in work and life. Don't worry about, you cannot change your self. You don't have to change. You are wahtever you are I will love you. It is bad idea if you want to change yourself. Keep whatever you are right now and be yourself, I always love you.
You certainly can say whatever here. At same time, don't worry what my comments to put here. Like you said, this is a place to write what you cannot say in daily life.
The only word I need you to remeber is "Be Happy!" I try to make you happy if I see you are not happy here. If you are still not happy, it is still my fault.
First message is look like what we have talked in the day together.
Second message is alos a little bit get me lost. I amy need to talk to you face to face to understand what exactly your meaning. However, if I guess what you mean, you may want to say that sometime, it's hard to me always Dec-working, B-type in life. Sometime, you will be a little bit un-balance.
Actually, these are just what our talks, Don't take too serious about so called "my thoery". I have already proved "my theory" wrong using my life time experience. I will write again. I have to go now.
Back you what you have written, It is may be same situation in our both sides. There are some worries when we are both at very happy time. We don't want to lose the happy time current we have. At same time, we are worry about what-if. What if some outside force involved? Not only my reputation, also your reputation too. That is why let's discuss.
As for what you said "But if I am B-type work person+ December man personality what you are going to do with me?"
If you are "B-type work person+ December man personality", you would be the worst person to be around for anybody, not even to mention me (Susan was looking like that type of person). In fact, you are not that type of person. However, in last two or three days of your behaviour, you are try to go to that direction. Things are that you don't know how to change and just change to a wrong direction. I am sure that you would figure out after a couple weeks by yourself. I may not need to point out and you can correct it by yourself. I will not like yourself if you are B-type work person+ December man personality.
You are a such kind of person whom I try to protect and love in heart. I am thinking of the best way to maitain your reputation and your career.
I try very hard to be away from you, but all planing was messed up by your action. So that "想不想你都不行". The word below deed my feeling
知道你在那裏
我假裝不在意
突然沒看見你
我急得四處找你
你沒入網海
已無蹤影
為何我還在這裏
傻傻地等你
任憑那
磅礴的淚滴
灑滿地
我決定不想你
想你忘了自己
一網情深歸何處
丹心一片在夢裏
想不開
窗外飄著綿綿細雨
情不斷心太亂
想著昨夜星星
哼著曲
不想你
算不算一場勝利
不想你
我隻想共振的頻率
不想你
我隻想天邊的約定
想你，不想你！
想你，不偏不倚！
"my heart always with you";
"This is a space here only belong to you and me."
"Soar with your soul"
"mywonderland, 32歲"
This should be you!
However, Now you are changing to
"my heart wants to go away from you";
"This is the space here belong to you, and I will have another space for me."
"Drop with your soul"
"mywonderland, 64歲"
Let's discuss.
隻有當婚外情接近尾聲，女人才會悲哀地發現愛情的脆弱和男人的無情，才會發現婚外的激情，永遠不可能取代健康婚姻的平淡、真摯和踏實。愛情總是盲目的，正是這種盲目，成就了天下無數幸福的婚姻，也造成了無數女人終生的悔恨。女人的天生重情，使她們注定要在一個強大的男人社會，因為非正常的感情而付出遠比男人高昂的代價。
何處是女人婚外情的歸路？
1. XXX 的出軌，決非生活的不幸，因為“我的婚姻看上去是美滿的。不管怎麽說，普通女人想得到的我都有了。”真正的答案可能是，“我是他所謂的‘浸透了性的’女人，是有著男性喜愛的原因的女人。
2. 隻是當她發現自己瘋狂愛上那個男人之後，性才成為婚外情的主題。女人在戀愛初期通常“因愛而性”，但一旦陷入激情，往往會像男人一樣“因性而愛”。
3. 發生婚外情，大多猝不及防。也許她早就對某個男人心存好感，隻是這種好感被婚姻的忠誠信念長期壓抑，沒有機會釋放，也許她根本就不知道自己需要一個什麽樣的男人，甚至不知道自己早就對婚姻心生厭倦。但是，隻要遭遇足夠曖昧的場景，一個偶然的火星，會將女人內心深處的欲火點燃。
4. 大多數出軌的女。她莊重地守護著她的神聖愛情，就像當年她守護自己的處女身一樣。“我偏執地相信，隻要性是‘自由’的，那麽世界很快將成為樂園。”勞倫斯夫人的這句名言，也許代表了大部分處於婚外情高潮期女人的心聲。
5.越是受過高等教育的女人，越容易發生婚外情，而恰恰是她們，越不會輕易地放棄婚姻。
6. 婚外情與正常戀情的最大不同，是其中“性”扮演著過於重要的角色。俗語所說的“偷情”，其實更多的是“偷性”。性的愉悅給女人極大的快感，使她體會到了一種強烈的放鬆和放縱，而這是正常婚姻不能給她的。一個“由性而愛”、“浸透了性”的女人，往往會對那個給他帶來強烈性快感的男人產生終生不可磨滅的印記，
7. 一個感情豐富、充滿幻想能力的女人，往往比一個現實的女人更容易深陷婚外情而不能自拔。
8. ...,...
有這樣一個女人，在她31歲時，突然碰到一個自稱是“弗洛伊德的學生”的瘦削男人，經過短短六個星期的短暫交往，她決定放棄丈夫和她的三個孩子，與這個男人私奔。
這便是著名的勞倫斯夫人。勞倫斯夫人的出軌，決非生活的不幸，因為“我的婚姻看上去是美滿的。不管怎麽說，普通女人想得到的我都有了。”真正的答案可能是，“我是他所謂的‘浸透了性的’女人，是有著男性喜愛的原因的女人。”（《不是我 而是風——勞倫斯夫人的一生》）
對一個充滿激情的女人來說，安全和平淡的婚姻不僅不夠幸福，反而意味著一種危險，因為她們需要更加豐富多彩的感情生活，而性是其中一個重要的支撐環節，或者說潤滑劑。女人追求婚外情，刺激的性一開始並不是主要原因，隻是當她發現自己瘋狂愛上那個男人之後，性才成為婚外情的主題。女人在戀愛初期通常“因愛而性”，但一旦陷入激情，往往會像男人一樣“因性而愛”。
女人為什麽會愛上婚外的“那個男人”？沉悶的婚姻、毫無情趣的性、乏味或者風流的男人、寂寞的心靈，都可能是答案。當她想著自己的靈魂一天天老去，而容貌和身體依舊充滿生機時，她的潛意識提醒她，我該不該用自己的肉體來酬謝靈魂？女人太習慣用靈魂的付出來過度地驅使肉體，這不正是我們衰老的原因嗎？她躺在浴缸裏，閉著眼睛這樣想，生命在於運動？不，生命在於愛情，因為愛情是靈魂的運動。
女人發生婚外情，大多猝不及防。也許她早就對某個男人心存好感，隻是這種好感被婚姻的忠誠信念長期壓抑，沒有機會釋放，也許她根本就不知道自己需要一個什麽樣的男人，甚至不知道自己早就對婚姻心生厭倦。但是，隻要遭遇足夠曖昧的場景，一個偶然的火星，會將女人內心深處的欲火點燃。
她開始頻繁地與那個男人約會，或者是晚上，或者是白天。她找各種借口去外地出差，去與情人幽會。她們瘋狂地做愛，不停通過掐咬在對方肉體寫下愛的印記。她甚至尋找一切可能，趁丈夫外出時，把情人帶到家中，在自己的床上做愛，以證明他才是她“真正的愛人”。出軌的女人仿佛重新拾回青春，她容光煥發，姿色動人，渾身充滿激情，無論是老公，還是同事，都對她驚為天人。
大多數出軌的女人，往往很難再讓丈夫輕易碰自己。她覺得自己的身體專屬於情人，情人才是她的世界，她的唯一主人。她會將丈夫的性要求視作一種冒犯，一種對她新開辟的愛情天空的褻瀆。她莊重地守護著她的神聖愛情，就像當年她守護自己的處女身一樣。“我偏執地相信，隻要性是‘自由’的，那麽世界很快將成為樂園。”勞倫斯夫人的這句名言，也許代表了大部分處於婚外情高潮期女人的心聲。
與主動出軌的女人不同，很多女人往往出於對出軌男人的報複，才紅杏出牆。一個原本恪守婦道的賢惠端莊女人，在尋找“療傷大夫”的過程中，愛上一個通情達理、活力四射的情人。她突然發現自己成為一個激情大膽、充滿挑逗的“蕩婦”，對男女之間的情感遊戲遊刃有餘，玩弄男人於股掌之間。對自己如此強大的魅力，她既沉醉，又不安，甚至在寧靜的午夜，她感到陣陣空虛和無奈。然而，這種念頭隻是一閃而過，她太喜歡這種刺激的遊戲了。
隻有當婚外情的第一波高潮之後，女人才會想到婚姻。如果她的情人是一個合格的丈夫人選，她會迫切地要與他結婚。她開始通過各種各樣的渠道暗示他盡快離婚，因為一個稍有理智的女人，通常會讓男人先離婚。盡管如此，還是有女人迫不急待地拋棄丈夫，或者因為過早攤牌被丈夫拋棄。
當女人考慮向家庭退縮時，男人通常早已厭倦。如果她的情人是一個已婚男人，那麽他早就打定主意不離婚，因為婚外情隻是婚外情，它隻是對婚姻的補充和平衡，而不是取代。如果她的情人是一個未婚男人，那麽，放心好了，他要麽在物色下一個情人，要麽在尋找結婚的對象。
婚外情之所以更容易讓女人受傷，是因為沉重的道德枷鎖，使她們總是先於男人開始懺悔。沸騰的婚外性，強烈的負疚感，讓她一會兒低頭傻笑，一會兒以淚洗麵。她開始越來越多關心丈夫和孩子，而在這個過程中，她又感到了一種強烈的悔恨、自責和傷痛。
當她絕望地發現她的情人不可能離婚時，女人開始萌生出回歸家庭的強烈意願。越是受過高等教育的女人，越容易發生婚外情，而恰恰是她們，越不會輕易地放棄婚姻。有數據證明，在所有離婚的案件當中，婚外情造成的離婚率不到25%。
然而，凡事都有例外。少數出軌女人，不僅不排斥丈夫，反而因為婚外情的新鮮刺激增加了婚姻的信心，她甚至可能比過去更愛她的丈夫。是的，她需要情人，可她並不想犧牲婚姻。越是強大的女人，越不介意離婚。她清楚地知道男人不可能離婚，也清楚地知道，一樁通過婚外情換來的婚姻，往往意味著新的婚外情。既然男人可以“家裏紅旗不倒，外麵彩旗飄飄”，女人為什麽不能？既然男人認為婚外情是對“傾斜”婚姻的一種平衡，女人為什麽不能主動平衡？
婚外情與正常戀情的最大不同，是其中“性”扮演著過於重要的角色。俗語所說的“偷情”，其實更多的是“偷性”。性的愉悅給女人極大的快感，使她體會到了一種強烈的放鬆和放縱，而這是正常婚姻不能給她的。一個“由性而愛”、“浸透了性”的女人，往往會對那個給他帶來強烈性快感的男人產生終生不可磨滅的印記，這使她即便回歸家庭，曆經多年，也很難將心靈深處的創傷撫平。一有機會，她仍然可能與那個男人私奔。
婚外情的長久取決於激情與現實的抗爭，取決於當事雙方肉體性愛之外的“精神造愛”能力。一個感情豐富、充滿幻想能力的女人，往往比一個現實的女人更容易深陷婚外情而不能自拔。如果說婚姻是一輛汽車，婚外情就好比是一架飛機。它隻有永遠保持足夠快的飛行速度，才能不掉下來，而現實中，有多少人能夠長期承受這種以“激情”作燃料的“高速飛行”？
隻有當婚外情接近尾聲，女人才會悲哀地發現愛情的脆弱和男人的無情，才會發現婚外的激情，永遠不可能取代健康婚姻的平淡、真摯和踏實。愛情總是盲目的，正是這種盲目，成就了天下無數幸福的婚姻，也造成了無數女人終生的悔恨。女人的天生重情，使她們注定要在一個強大的男人社會，因為非正常的感情而付出遠比男人高昂的代價。
何處是女人婚外情的歸路？阿德裏安•萊恩“外遇三部曲”之一的《不忠》，可以當作一個特色注解。有著中產生活、優秀丈夫和八歲兒子的妻子康妮，在一個大風天意外邂逅了一位充滿異域風情的青年男子，很快陷入情網，一邊盡情的享受危險而刺激的感情遊戲，一方麵讓悔恨和愧疚吞噬自己。丈夫愛德華覺察出端倪後，雇用私人偵探跟蹤康妮，終於發現了事實真相。他私下約見了他的情敵，將他殺死後毀屍滅跡。警方發現了屍體，上他們家調查案情，康妮也漸漸知道了這一切，她努力想回歸家庭，於是與愛德華一道默契地隱瞞殺人事實。
影片結尾的鏡頭是，深夜，他們開車行駛在一條寂靜的馬路上，路口是紅燈，他們停了下來。孩子已在後座上熟睡，康妮和愛德華輕聲交談著，決定逃離這個國家。終於，他們彼此寬恕，擁抱熱吻，早忘了路邊就是警察局，早忘了路口的紅燈，已變成綠燈。