Ping-pong tournament

I entered the company ping-pong tournament for the singles match. I had high expectations because I thought being Chinese automatically made me better than anyone else. But it turned out not to be the case. I haven't played for years. Almost all the mechanics are rusty except for the serves. The competition is not that good. Most people win points on unforced errors. But I wasn't that good either. I rarely was able to attack sucessfully. The serves saved me in the first few games. But once people got used to it. It failed to win me free points. I won 3 matches and lost 2. The thing that surprised me was how nervous I was even though I didn't think I cared about the result. But in fact it always matters. No matter what kind of competition, I always want to win. My hands got cold before the match. There were a lot of people watching at one of the matches. My heart was pounding in my chest. I feared disappointing the audience. That was the match against the eventual winner. I played my worst. Confidence is not something you talk about and get it. You have to earn it through experience and success. It is important to experience everything such as match playing, public speaking or performing under preasure because you won't know what it is like unless you experience it first hand. Most likely you will be lousy at first. I was pretty lousy addressing the students at Zhejiang University for the recruitment event. My head went blank in front of hundreds of students. But I will probably be better next time or at least I will know to prepare better for it. That is the thing with the education I got. I didn't get to experience a lot of things in school. Only exams. My son will be different. I hope he will be able to bring out his best when it counts.