The hardest thing is to change oneself.

I am going back to HZ on Sunday. The date is approaching. I have a mixed feeling about it. There is the anticipation factor. It would be a welcome change of scenary. But I also miss being with my son. For some reason, I feel guilty towards him all the time. I want to give him the world but fell far short. Good intention only is not enough. I cannot control my outburst sometime. I yell at him only to feel sorry later. Then it is over-compensating. Resentment builds up slowly. Eventually I explodes and the cycle begins once again.

The hardest thing is to change oneself.