Farewell My Egypt...

Based on my blog a couple of years ago, I have re-write the story in English.  Hope to share some thoughts with people here, and always apperciated the kindness of love we had and all the beautiful things happened in our life. 

Farewell My Egypt

 

Egypt seems to be nothing accomplished than its history and its “One Thousand And One Night” which brought people into Arab words.  To me these were not important at all.  I couldn’t help myself so desperately to visit my Egyptian love who brought me into his world and left me with nothing more than wonders. 

 

He is a typical Arab young man, tall, firm, handsome, brown colored skin full of health and energy.  His deep dark eyes looked at me passionately, his gentle loving care towards made me not doubt that his love is true. “Plain as a piece of paper” is the only words I could use to picture him. A working class, standard living, nothing more than ordinary; He sees the whole world is as much as the sky above his head. He feels all he needs from the world are in his hands. Nothing he deserves from God more than he has, and he enjoys the life to the fullest. Besides all, nothing was more important to him than being with me and being in love. The time stopped for our love, there is nothing between us but love.  Our love is pure and beautiful.  I can never felt being loved by someone so strongly like his love.  I was “falling in love” madly.  He planned every detail for us, our future, nothing more than maintain the same way of living which he feels proud of that he can provide the best which all woman deserved from man.  Get married produce a bunch of kids, watching kids running around the house happily, a lovely wife with charming smiles, holding a silver tray serving great dinner for everyone.  The home was filled with joy and laughter. All we thought what could be happened only in the movie or dreams are now became true for us.  There is nothing seems to be problems can overcome our love. He is a prefect man, and I was a prefect woman to him as well.  All the love and passions like water flood my heart and made me dazzling around.   When I was standing in front of  The Sphinx and looking at the statues, I can’t stop wondering if I was in the real world, and in love with the real person.  Egypt - a city of misery, a city of desire.  Isn’t it the real Sphinx could stand there with the human face and lion body.

 

Could I really take the great adventure of my own and live with my love in this city to which I wouldn’t belong?  Would I live in this completely different world just for that purity of passion towards our love?  I started asking myself, how long our love would last, and how long I could keep our feelings all time high with no resist?  Could I give up everything I have in another part of world which I am used to and comfortable with to exchange and accommodate his nothing more than the ordinary life style.  What is love all about?  Whenever I see the way of his living, having to deal with the life that I have never thought would happen to me.  I see people looking at me in a strange way and talking to me something I couldn’t understand properly.   Whenever I wanted something and I clearly know that’s not going to happen simply as my love couldn’t afford it, and never would have that budget in his life.  I started questioning myself; “Was that kind of perfect love I really wanted for my life.  Can I accept everything he provided for me which he thought the best he could and I should be appreciated?”  Love and life seems so against each other in our case, confused me more than I would handle it. In one hand, we both so in love, nothing to make us apart. In another hand, I am so depressed by such living with loved one so basic and plain.  To be, or not to be, question rose on my mind. One morning, I woke up very early, he was lying next to me and fast asleep, peacefully with smile on his handsome face, he breathed so peacefully, I could see though his mind that he was dreaming, his future was so beautiful and bright sunshine though the trees lighting to his lovely little cottage.  I got up from the bed walked though the empty room, looked out of window from our apartment, although it was only 6 o’clock in the morning, the streets were as dirty as ever and already busy as usual, people seems never sleeps, standing or setting or laying on the parked cars talking loudly.  The cars which were everywhere are all old and dirty, poorly maintained as you can see from its body and black exhaust too, no good conditions at all.  Driver’s horn blew aggressively with no reason and never stops.  The street vendors were in their different ages from as young as child of below 5 or 7 to as old as over 70’s.  They are all looked very unhealthy, dirty and poorly.  Looking around the buildings nearby, air pollution stained the buildings outer wall to dirty smoky liked black. Some of the buildings even have not been finished and people were already living there. Laundry hangs on every balcony swinging in the morning chilled air waiting for the sunshine to dry up.  The sky covered by heavy cloud and hardly expects the sun light as it supposed to. 

 

Suddenly, I realized that I was definitely walking on the wrong side of the tracks; I was stepping in soil that wasn’t meant to be on the bottom of my shoes. I can never live in those surroundings and still happily towards my loving man.  The passion of love will stay inside of me but not outside of this apartment door.  Definitely, I was not belonging to his part of the world. 

 

I must go.  Sitting on the plane back home, the beautiful river Nile still steaming though my heart, the misery of The Pyramid, the love story of Cleopatra & Mark Anthony, the king of Alexander the great, the scarified “The City of Death” for the most Egyptians was the place to be set free.  But not me though.  I can never free my love and soul.

 

Step in front of my home for the past decade.  Breathe fresh air in the lovely clear blue sky, such relief crossing my body. Driving my beautiful Mercedes-Benz on the freeway, I finally freed myself from the love of Egypt.  I can’t wait to get on horseback. Pip, my dearest Arabian horse took me galloping in the desert like a bird flying high up to the sky.  I laughed with full of joy, breathed heavily to erase the pain of losing the love of my life, just for a piece of freedom I don’t want to give up. Sitting on top of a dune with Pip standing next to me, the sunset light longed our shadow on the desert, my lonely heart with no connection to anyone. Looking at the far away skyline, the cloud looked like a big book right open in the middle,  that was the fairytale love story written by me.  The last sunlight cut the book right though, and sealed with the words appeared at the end - “She lived happily ever after.” By that time, I have sealed my book with tears deeply in my heart, and never to open it again.  Pip stood and looked at me with nothing but comfort. 

 

Farewell my sweetest Egypt inspirations. So long my dear love. Perhaps I would go back to Egypt one day to see myself in the past, and my past would always be one of the most beautiful memories in my life.