Talk as to talk to a 5 yr old child (ZT)

When people approach something, they often have a primary agenda. In the case of a PWS, it is usually to STOP stuttering. The obstacle this creates for some is that they are placing importance on stuttering...they are continuing to feed their power to stuttering. Success or failure then becomes measured strictly in terms of whether or not they were fluent at any given moment. In many cases, a "bad day" leads to panic and a reinfrocement of disbelief concerning whether or not it all "works" and whether or not they can ever truly be fluent. The voice in their head becomes irate.. complaining.. nagging...judging... Happiness becomes measured by whether or not they stutter. So, two themes:

1. The best [and ultimately --even most fluent ] state to be..appears to be one where you become OK w/ stuttering, at PEACE w/stuttering [yes, even before you "conquer" it]...It is OK if you stutter, it is OK if you don't stutter. Fluency doesn't bring true happiness just like stuttering doesn't bring sadness. It's all from within you. Remember: What you resist persists...as long as you are fighting stuttering, your "enemy" against whom you are fighting still exists. Love your situation, forget your past as much as you can, and ENJOY the process of becoming more fluent---both the bumpy AND the smooth parts of the road. KNOW that it's all happening perfectly..and you can choose to be at peace with every moment of every day whether you're speaking smoothly or struggling with words.

2. Prepare yourself to listen less and less to the "drill seargeant" in your head pushing you to improve your speech. You were born perfect and you ARE perfect...only learning and conditioning have created the ego voice that cries, whines, and neurotically nags you all day long to get "better"--- Learn to LOVE yourself w/ LOVE being an ACTION verb. SPeak to yourself as you would truly expect a friend you WANT To be with all day to speak to you.. not just w/ respect to your choice of self-talk words..but also w/ respect to self-talk TONE. Be endlessly patient with yourself. You will make mistakes, sure. DOn't make yourself "wrong" for doing so.. allow endless mistakes..the more gently and patiently you correct yourself, the faster you'll improve. If you had a young 5 year old child who kept coming to you crying "Mommy/Daddy, I tried and I tried..and I keep stuttering.. I stink.. I'm just terrible..What's wrong with me.. I just can't get it.." -- Would you belittle and berate them? Talk to the 5 yr old child IN YOU--in the most compassionate, kind, and patient way you can imagine. Hold his or her hand through each experience....THESE things are your most beneficial foci/focal points..and not your level of fluency..For, as long as fluency is all important, you will continue to determine your happiness based on whether or not you stutter. Would you raise a child---working to rob him of his happiness whenever he stumbled? Of course not! Why are YOU any different. Let go of the past. Only YOU are making yourself miserable and only YOU have the power to decide that you have suffered enough.