原作者：Neil T. Anderson & Steve Goss
Session 11
第十一講
Relating To Others
與人相處
Focus Verse
重點經文
Matthew 22:37-40: Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
馬太福音22章37-40節：耶穌回答說，“你要盡心，盡性，盡意，愛主你的神。這是誡命中的第一，且是最大的。其次也相仿，就是要愛人如己。這兩條誡命是律法和先知一切道理的總綱。”
Objective
目標
To understand our roles and responsibilities in relationships so that we can grow together in Christ.
理解在和別人的關係當中我們的作用，以便我們能夠在基督裏一同成長。
Focus Truth
重點真理
As a disciple of Christ we must assume responsibility for our own character and seek to meet the needs of others than the other way round.
作為基督的門徒，我們必須為我們的性格承擔責任，並尋求去滿足別人的需要，而不是相反。
Welcome
歡迎
What is the thing that has struck you the most on this course so far?
這個課程中對你震動最大的是什麽？
Worship
崇拜
Thank God for other people He has brought into your life.
為了神把其他人帶到你的生活中而感謝神。
Word
道
Understanding Grace
理解救恩
“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40)
“你要盡心，盡性，盡意，愛主你的神。這是誡命中的第一，且是最大的。其次也相仿，就是要愛人如己。這兩條誡命是律法和先知一切道理的總綱。” 馬太福音22章37-40節：
We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).
我們愛，因為他先愛了我們（約翰一書4章19節）
We give freely because we have received freely (Mathew 10:8)
我們白白地給人，因為我們已經白白地得著了。（馬太福音10章8節）
We are merciful because He has been merciful to us (Luke 6:36)
我們慈悲，是因為他對我們慈悲（路加福音 6章36節）
We forgive in the same way that Jesus has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32).
我們饒恕，正如耶穌饒恕了我們（以弗所書4章32節）
We Are Responsible for Our Own Character And Others’ Needs
我們對自己的性格負責並對別人的需要負責
“Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.” (Romans 14:4)
“你是誰，竟論斷別人的仆人呢？他或站住，或跌到，自有他的主人在，而且他也必要站住，因為主能使他站住”。（羅馬書14 章4 節）
Each person is responsible before God for their own character.
每個人在上帝麵前對他們自己的性格負責。
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 2:3-5).
“做事不可出於個人的野心，也不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀。 隻要存心謙卑，各人看別人比自己強。你們的態度應該與基督耶穌相同”（腓力比書２ 章３－５節）。
Where we do have a responsibility towards others before God, it is to meet the needs of others.
我們在上帝麵前對別人負責任之處，就在於我們有責任滿足他人的需要。
Being Aware Of Our Own Sins
認識到我們自己的罪
When we see God for who He is, we don’t become aware of the sin of others, but of our own sin. However, when we are lukewarm in our relationship with God, we tend to overlook our sin and see the sin of others.
當我們認識神的時候，我們不是先看到他人的罪，而是看到我們自己的罪。 然而，當我們和神的關係不冷不熱的時候，我們趨向於忽視自己的罪，看到別人的罪。
Focus On Responsibilities Rather Than Rights
注重責任而不是注重權利
In every relationship we have both rights and responsibilities - - but where should we put the emphasis?
在每個關係中我們都有權利又有責任—但我們要把重點放在哪裏呢？
Do husbands have a right to expect their wives to be submissive to them? Or do they have a responsibility to love and respect their husbands who in turn have the responsibility of being the head of the home?
丈夫是否有權利期待妻子服從他們？ 還是妻子們有責任愛和尊重她們的丈夫，而丈夫們有責任做家裏的首腦？
Do parents have a right to expect their children to be obedient? Or do they have a responsibility to bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord, and to discipline them when they are disobedient?
家長有無權利期待孩子順服父母？ 還是家長有責任教養他們聽從神的教誨，並在他們不順服的時候約束他們？
Does being a member of a local church give you the right to criticize others? Or does it give you a responsibility to submit to those in authority over you and relate to one another with the same love and acceptance we have received from Christ?
成為本地教會的成員讓你有權利批評其他人嗎？ 還是，這使你有責任順服管理你的權威，並用從基督那裏得來的愛和接納與別人相處？
When we emphasize our rights above our responsibilities in any relationship we sow the seeds of destruction.
當我們在與人的關係中強調我們的權利超過我們的責任的時候，我們就埋下了毀滅的種子。
Pause for thought 1
思考問題 1
What is your responsibility towards other people?
Why do we have a tendency to judge others and look out for our own needs?
If you find that you are becoming critical of others and unaware of your own sins, what is the problem and what can you do to put it right?
你對別人的責任是什麽？ 為什麽我們有論斷別人而看顧自己需要的傾向? 如果你發現你正在變得對人苛責而沒意識到自己的罪，問題何在？你能做什麽矯正它？
What about when others do Wrong?
當別人做錯時怎麽辦？
Playing the role of the Holy Spirit in another person’s life won’t work.
在別人的生命中扮演聖靈的作用不會奏效。
Discipline Yes, Judgment No
紀律約束，要；論斷，不要
Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way as you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you ( Matthew 7:1).
不要論斷人，免得你們被論斷。因為你們怎樣論斷人，也必被怎樣論斷；你們用什麽量器量給人，也必用什麽量器量給你們。（馬太福音7章1節）
Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. (Galatians 6:1)
弟兄們，如果有人偶然被過犯所勝，你們屬靈的人，就當用溫柔的心把他挽回來。（加拉太書6章1節）
We are told not to judge, but we are to carry out discipline.
Judgment is always related to character whereas discipline is always related to behavior.
我們受的教導是，不要論斷，但要履行我們的責任。論斷總是涉及到性格，而紀律總是關係著行為。
Calling somebody “stupid”, “clumsy”, “proud” or “evil” is an attack on their character and it leaves them with no way forward.
稱某人“愚蠢”，“笨拙”，“傲慢”，或“邪惡”，是對他性格的攻擊，沒有給他們留下前進的路。
If you point out someone’s sinful behavior, you are giving them something they can work with: “You are right; what I just said wasn’t true, and I am sorry.”
如果你指出某人有罪的行為，你給了他們能夠努力改善的對象：他們可以說：“你是對的，我剛才說的不對，我很抱歉”。
Disciplines And Punishment Are Not The Same
紀律約束與懲罰性質不同
Punishment looks backwards, whereas discipline looks forwards.
God’s discipline is a proof of His love (Hebrews 12:5-11).
The point of discipline is not to punish someone but to help them become more like Jesus.
懲罰是向後看，而紀律是向前看。
上帝的紀律約束是他的愛的證明（希伯來書12 章5-11 節）
紀律約束的要點不是懲罰人，而是幫助人變得更像耶穌。
Pause For Thought 2
思考問題２
Why shouldn’t we be another person’s conscience? What will happen if we try? What is the difference between judgment and discipline? What is the difference between discipline and punishment?
為什麽我們不能作別人的良心？ 如果我們那樣做，會發生什麽？論斷和紀律約束之間的區別是什麽？紀律約束和懲罰之間的區別是什麽？
When we are attacked
當我們受到攻擊
“When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate. When he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to Him who judges justly.” (1 Peter 2:23).
“他被罵不還口，受害不說威嚇人的話，隻將自己交托那按公義審判人的主。”（彼得前書2 章23 節）
If you are wrong, you don’t have a defense. If you are right, you don’t need one. Christ is our defense.
如果你做錯了，你沒有辯解的理由，如果你做得對，你不需要理由，基督就是我們的辯護。
Authority And Accountability
權威與負責任
Fro which end of this list (top or bottom) did the Lord first come to you?
上帝是從這個清單的哪一邊初次來到你身邊？
Authority
Accountability
Affirmation
Acceptance
權威，責任，肯定，接納。
“While we were still sinners, Christ dies for us” (Romans 5:8).
“當我們還做罪人的時候，基督就為我們而死”（羅馬書5 章8 節）
Acceptance came first, and then the affirmation: “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children” (Romans 8:16).
接納是第一步，然後是肯定：“聖靈與我們的心同證我們是神的兒女”（羅馬書，8章16節）
If authority figures demand accountability without giving affirmation and acceptance, they will never get it.
如果權威人物在沒有給與我們接納和肯定之前就要求我們負責，他們永不會達到目的。
Should We Express Our Needs?
我們應該表達我們的需要嗎？
If we have needs in a relationship that are not being met, it is important that we let people know what they are. However, a need must be started as a need, and not a judgment.
如果在一個人際關係中我們的需要未得滿足，我們要讓別人知道這些需要是什麽，這很重要。 然而，需要必須是需要而已，不是論斷。
Pause For Thought 3
思考問題3
Should we be defensive if someone attacks our character? Why or why not? Have you experienced a time when authority figures demanded accountability without first affirming and accepting you? How did you respond to them? How will knowing this affect what you do as a parent or in your church? What needs do we all have? How can we share a need without it backfiring on us?
如果有人攻擊我們的性格，我們該辯解麽？該或不該為什麽？你是否曾經有過這樣的經曆：有權的人物沒有先給你接納和肯定卻要你負責任？ 你對他們做何反應？ 了解這一點對於你做一名家長和你在教會的作用有何影響？ 我們都有什麽樣的需要？我們如何能共享一種需要而不造成引火燒身的後果？
One Of Life’s Little Secret
生命的一個小秘密
Every one of us needs to be loved, accepted and affirmed.
我們每個人都需要被愛，被接受，被肯定。
Jesus said: “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). We cannot sincerely help somebody else without helping ourselves in the process.
耶穌說：“施比受有福”（使徒行傳20章35節）。如果我們誠摯地幫助別人，我們自己也必同時得到幫助。
“Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be pored into your lap. For with the measure yu use, it will be measured to you.”(Luke 6:38)
“你們要給人， 就必有給你們的， 並且用十足的升鬥，連搖帶按，上尖下流地倒在你們懷裏；因為你們用什麽量器量給人，也必用什麽量器量給你們”(路加福音6章38節)。
People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered. Love them anyway.
有些人是沒有理智，沒有邏輯，自我中心的；盡管如此，去愛他們。
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Do good anyway.
如果你做好事，有人會指責你自私，動機不純；盡管如此，去做好事。
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
如果你成功，你會贏來假的朋友，真的敵人；盡管如此，還是要成功。
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
今天你做的好事，明天就會被人忘記；盡管如此，還是要作好事。
Honesty and Frankness makes you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.
誠實和坦率使你易受攻擊；盡管如此，要繼續誠實坦率。
The biggest people with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest people with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.
有偉大思想的偉大的人可能載在有小主意的小人手中；盡管如此，還是要有偉大的思想。
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for the underdog anyway.
人們同情失敗者但跟隨勝利者；盡管如此，還是要為失敗者而戰。
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
你花好多年建立的東西，有可能在一夜之間被毀；盡管如此，還是要建立。
Give the world the best you’ve got and you’ll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
把你最好的給與這個世界，而你有可能被徹底拋棄；盡管如此，還是要把你最好的給與這個世界。
Witness
見證
Being a positive witness is directly related to our capacity to love others. How can you be a good neighbor to those who live on your street, i.e., how can you love your neighbor as yourself? What needs do they have that you could help to meet? How could you get to know them better, so that you would have a better idea of what their needs are? What needs do we all have?
成為一個積極的見證人，與我們有沒有愛別人的能力直接相關。 你如何能夠成為和你同住一條街的人的好鄰居，或者說， 你如何能夠愛鄰居如同愛自己？他們有什麽需要你可以幫助滿足？你如何能更好地了解他們， 以便你更多知道他們需要什麽？ 我們共有的是需要是什麽？
Questions for Groups
給各組的問題
1. What is our responsibility towards other people?
1．我們對別人負有什麽責任？
2. Why do we have a tendency to judge others and look out for our own needs?
2．為什麽我們有論斷人而不是看顧他們需求的傾向？
3. If you find that you are becoming critical of others and unaware of your own sins, what is the problem and what can you do to put it right?
3．如果你發現自己正變得對人苛責，卻沒有意識到自己的罪，問題何在？你如何做能糾正它？
4. Why shouldn’t we be another person’s conscience? What will happen if we try?
4．為什麽我們不應該成為另一個人的良心？如果我們這樣做，會發生什麽？
5. What happens if we emphasize rights over responsibilities?
5．如果我們強調自己的權利過於自己的責任，會怎樣？
6. What is the difference between judgment and discipline? What is the difference between discipline and punishment?
6．論斷和紀律約束之間的區別是什麽？ 紀律約束和懲罰之間的區別是什麽？
7. Should we be defensive if someone attacks our character? Why or why not?
7．如果別人攻擊我們的性格，我們應該辯解嗎？為什麽/為什麽不？
8. Have you experienced a time when authority figures demanded accountability without first affirming and accepting you? How did you respond to them? How will knowing this affect what you do as a parent or in your church?
8．你有沒有經曆過這樣的情況：有權者沒有首先肯定和接受你， 卻要求你負責任？ 你對他們如何反應？了解這一點對於你做家長或者在你的教會裏的作用有什麽影響？
9. What needs do we all have? How can we share a need without it backfiring on us?
9．我們都有的是什麽需求？我們如何能共享一種需求而不會引火燒身？
To take away
帶回家的問題
Suggestions For Your Quiet Times This Week:
建議你在本周安靜的時間作以下事情：
Read Luke 6:27-41. This session may have convicted you of the need to relate differently to your family, friends and neighbors. You might want to seek the forgiveness of others. If you sense the Lord’s conviction, then go to that person or persons and ask their forgiveness, stating clearly that what you have done is wrong. (Don’t do this by letter or email – it might be misunderstood or used against you.)
閱讀路加福音6章27-41節。 這一課可能會使你思想你需要與你的家人朋友和鄰居有不同的相處方法。你可能會尋求別人寬恕你，如果你感受到上帝的指責，就去向那個人或那些人請求他們的寬恕，明確地說明你做錯了什麽事。（不要用寫信或電子郵件的方式- 免得有誤解或者被人誤用來攻擊你）
Big Questions (to consider before the next session):
思考問題（下一課之前思考）：
What are your goals for the rest of your life? How can you know if they are consistent with God’s will?
未來的時間裏你生命的目標是什麽？你如何能知道這些目標是否與神的旨意一致？
約翰福音8章32節：你們必認識真理，真理必叫你們得自由。
