IjoinedaJiu-JitsugymonthelastdayofJan2017,afew
monthsafterTimdid.Twiceaweek,afterthechildren's,I
attendedtheadults'beginnerclasses.Vacationsandsummer
atanothermartialartschooltookacoupleofmonthsoff.
Overall,IthinkIhavecompletedoneyearofBJJtraining.
Fourorfiveothersjoinedaroundthesametime,butyours
trulystayed.
Overtheyear,Ialsoeducatedmyselfbylisteningto
podca...[
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Icannothelpbutkeepingacopyherethefollowingletter
fromamodernStoic.ThisverseinoneofAliceinChains’mosthaunting
songscapturestheessenceoftheStoicbattle:AndyetIfind
AndyetIfind
Repeatinginmyhead
IfIcan'tbemyown
I'dfeelbetterdeadTheneedtobeone’sown.One’sownman.Freefrom
outsideinfluence.Freefromtyranny.Freefromanxiety.
Fear.Unnecessarypain.Tobefr...[
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Itwas18yearsagoandinthebasementofaBaptistchurch
whereIfirstreadthatfamousline.TheLordJesussaid
similarthings,e.g.,whoeverwantedtobethefirsthereon
earthshouldbethelastinthekingdomofheaven,andIhad
notroublefiguringoutthatHefavoredthe"meek."
Afterall,Icamefromaculturethatbelieves柔弱勝剛強.
"InherittheEarth"soundedprettygood,too,althoughit
wasnotclearho...[
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WhenItooktheclippertoTim'sfullheadoflushshiny
blackhairFridayevening,Ididn'thesitate.Afterall,I'd
donethissinceheeverstartedtoneedahaircut.Itmust
beover50times.Ididn'tfeelanythingdifferent.
Thebladeswentsmoothlyandleftastripeofskincovered
byaperfectlycutpatchoffur.Onlythepatchseemedshort.
Forthefirsttime,Iforgottoputonaguard(guidecomb)!
Isawwhathappen...[
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Thisweekend,threethingsofpersonalhistoricalimportance
happened;-)
First,Iwasabletosleepthroughthenightonmyback,on
theJiu-Jitsumat,andwithoutapillow.Iusedtosnore
whichwokemyselfupwhenItriedtosleeplikethat.In
additiontoonelessneed(thesmallpillow),thisability
meansthatIcaneffortlesslycorrectmyscreen-bound
hunchingpostureduringthedayforatleastsevenhours
atnight.Mybodyand...[
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Ioftenmissagoodideawhenreadingaboutitforthefirst
time.Butitwouldleaveamarkandovertime,Iwould
reflectandrevisit,oftenmorethanonce,andeventually,I
wouldgetthepoint.
Onesuchideawas"Flow"asinthetitleofthebook"Flow:
thepsychologyofoptimalexperience"byProf.Mihaly
Csikszentmihalyi.PavelofStrongFirstgavethebooka
stellarreviewinhisJan2016article"TheWillTo...[
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Ivisitedthefamilygravesonthethirddayoflunar2018
withmycousin.Percustom,theywerelocatedonthe
farmlandoftheancestral(Dad'sside)village.Noimmediate
familymemberlivedthereanymore.Thepotoflandwas
allottedtoarelativewhogrewsaplingsonit.Giventhe
frenzyofdevelopmentthesedays,thenearbylandscape
changedalmosteveryyearanditwashardtosayhowmuch
longerourgraveyardcouldstaythere.T...[
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Theseconddayoflunar2018,Iwenttoseemyauntinthe
village.Nobusoperatedthatdayandthetaxichargedme50
Yuanforthe15kmone-waytrip.Intheafternoon,Icouldn't
findanythingtotakemebacktotown.Iknewthatcould
happenandhadabackupplanbeforethetrip.
Ihatedthefussthiscausedatfarewellandbeggedher:
"Noneed,really!Don'tfeelbadandthankyouforgiving
meachance!"Iwalked,no,Imarche...[
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IhaddinnerwithJ,myhigh-schoolchum.Wehadn'tseen
eachotherforover10yearsbutIspottedhimrightawayin
thelobby.Helostsomehairbutwasaboutthesamesizeand
height.Iwasgladhedidn'tturnpear-shape.Heobviously
hadtakengoodcareofhimself.
Lastyear,Jlefthisjobforanopportunity,madeabundle,
butcouldn'tgetbacktohiscushyoldpostwherehespent
mostofhisworkinglife."Thecompany...[
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Dad'sbloodsugarlevelcamedownandhehadlivedwithout
insulinforafewmonthsbynow.Acoupleofyearsago,he
switchedfromawhite-flour-richdiettowholegrains,
vegetables,tofu,andalittlemeat.Thatdidthetrickand
savedabonafidediabetic.Daddidn'tfullyrealizewhathe
hadaccomplished:thedoctorstoldme(andhim)therewasno
turning-backoncediabetic.Heshouldhavebeenmoreproud
ofhimself--howman...[
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