Let’s not Get Your Feelings Hurt so Easily

3/20/06

Today the daycare set up a stand selling all sorts of cookies which looked delicious. I had a feeling I was going to be in trouble with only $1 cash in my wallet when I picked the kids up. Sure enough, on the way out, both of them asked me whether they can have some cookies. I said no because I did not have enough money. They were both upset and Evan was just about to cry and Olivia whined that I never ever bought cookies like that for them.

Finally we hit the road with the two younger ones in a bad mood. Evan requested that he wanted to go home. I said we can’t until we drop off Olivia to her dance class. He got irritated again:

“I do not want to go to dance class.”

“You do not have to go to dance class, you just stay with mommy in the car. After we say bye-bye to Olivia, we will go home, okay?”

He said: “Okay, I want to stay for you.” 

Now, for the past month or two, he has been incorrectly using “for” instead of “with” in his sentences and I have been trying to correct him whenever I can and he has been okay with it. But I know in today’s situation I’d better just let it go.

Unfortunately Olivia did not think so, she pointed out to Evan: “Evan, it is stay with you not for you” just like what I would have pointed out. Boy, didn’t she push the wrong button. Evan lost his temper just like that and screamed at Olivia on top of his lung: “No, don’t say that to me! You hurt my feelings!” which was the first time ever I heard him saying that even though I hear it all the time from Olivia.

Despite the fact that he started bawling, I still scolded him for yelling at Olivia. He got even more upset. Olivia on the other hand, was shocked by Evan’s attitude and felt so wronged, she started crying too: “Mommy, Evan hurt my feelings!”

Ayeyayayaya...to me there is nothing worse than hearing both of them crying to my ears in a confined space like a car. So I was like “Okay, boys and girls, you guys have to learn to be strong. Don’t get your feelings hurt so easily.”

Well, it did not really help. Any better suggestions to deal with this situation when your kids tell you their feelings are hurt…all the time?