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一個富商後代的平凡人生

(2024-06-13 18:20:28) 下一個

2024年父親節到了,很想講一些關於我嶽父的故事來紀念這位長輩,感謝他養育了一個很好的女兒,成為了我一生的伴侶,改變了我的人生。

嶽父是一個極其平凡,忠厚老實,樸實無華的普通工人。通過和嶽父的多年相處,這位善良的長輩在我心中留下了深刻美好的印象。今年是他誕辰88周年,瑾以此文紀念這位默默無聞, 幾乎已經被人遺忘的人,以表示我對他的尊敬,感謝和懷念。 

嶽父個子不高,身體瘦弱,大大的眼睛,閃閃有神,臉上常帶微笑。每次到他家去,總是看到他忙上忙下。嶽母在廚房裏忙著做飯炒菜時,他在旁邊默默幫忙,洗菜,擦桌,見事做事,忙個不停。他是一個話語不多,言談舉止非常小心謹慎的人,大家在一起熱鬧聊天時 ,他常常在一旁微笑著靜靜聆聽,點點頭,偶爾簡單地插上一兩句

我和太太剛談戀愛時,有一次,我們經過長沙市中心五一廣場的一家大綢緞店時,太太告訴我一段有關她祖父的往事。她說這個綢緞店解放前是她祖父的,1949年前夕, 她祖父本來準備移居香港,但是,她祖母不讓他去,使他錯過社會動蕩大變天前逃離的機會。50年代初,他的財產都被新中國政府沒收了,隻留下一些自住房,而他也被強迫到農村勞動改造。他因為個子矮小,被分派在隊裏放牛。作為一個從小在城市長大,從來沒有幹過農活的商人,每次放牛時,他都不敢走在牛的前麵,而是拿著牛繩膽怯地跟在牛的後麵,緊握著牛繩,生怕牛會跑掉。有一次,牛受驚嚇後,開始奔跑,他為了防止牛逃跑,緊緊抓住牛繩不放手,結果被狂奔的牛拖倒在地,拖了很長一段距離,受了重傷,不久後去世。

嶽父生長在一個大家庭,有八個兄妹,他是老三。他的弟妹都是文革前受過良好教育的高級知識分子,兄妹關係相處不錯,每逢節假日,在城市附近的幾家親戚會相聚在一起熱鬧一兩天。 我和太太結婚後不久,還去參加過在她的一個姑媽家的聚會,兄妹幾家親情氣氛十分隆厚,給我留下了特別深刻的印象。 

嶽父的大姐住在上海,她們夫妻倆都是生意人。我在上海讀研時,有時候周末去她家拜訪。姑媽一家都很熱情,每次都要留我在那裏吃飯。她有三個兒子,老大在深圳辦印刷廠,老二是外企的德語翻譯,老三是日語翻譯。他們都非常友好,健談,聊天的話題都離不開辦企業,出國。八十年代初期,祖國大地正是南下深圳,西去美國的大潮開啟階段。到了上海更是出國熱浪逼人。我剛到那裏時根本沒有出國的想法,在和他們家幾個兄弟接觸幾次後,他們點燃了我心中出國的那把火,開啟了我出國留學夢想。姑媽老人家也很健談,她講的大多都是她和先生年輕時來上海做生意的往事。那是她們家生意做的很好,她每次到上海都是住在當時最有名的和平飯店,出門坐黃包車,結帳用簽單,不用付現金。她說“我是我們家唯一的一個,在年輕時真正享受過我們家財富的人”。

嶽父上中學時,不小心摔壞了腳,綴學在家,不久,他開始在父親店裏當徒弟。剛到店裏時,有同店的夥計故意把錢放在他很容易拿到的地方,來考驗他是不是誠實可靠的夥伴,他非常自律,從來不會被這些錢誘惑。有一次,他到其它店去收錢,那時候貨幣是銀元,他沒有注意裝錢的布袋底下爛了一個洞,他剛把很多的銀元倒進布袋,隻聽到一陣錠錠錠的聲音,銀元都從洞裏嘩啦,嘩啦落到地上。他當時非常緊張,趕快把銀元一個個從地上撿起來。很幸運,錢沒有丟失。

嶽父和嶽母結婚是一段小的傳奇。50年代,嶽父已經是一家大藥廠的倉庫管理員。嶽母16歲時,便報名去西藏拉薩支邊,在那裏闖蕩了兩年多。因為她家庭出身不好,父親是前國民黨官員的緣故,不能繼續在拉薩工作,她又不得不從西藏回到湖南農村老家。不久後,她到藥廠做臨時工,在參加車間青年團員活動時,認識了當時的車間團支部書記,也就是嶽父。最初,嶽父的兄妹並不看好他們的關係,都認為雙方出身不好,女孩又太漂亮,這樣的戀情難以長久。不過,他們還是頂住了壓力,一年多後,結為夫妻。在50年代的中國,兩個出身不好的年輕人結婚是一件很不容易的事,還真要有一點膽量和勇氣來抵禦家庭和社會各方麵的壓力。嶽父和嶽母是天生的一對。他們當年在長沙海旋門照相館拍攝的結婚照,作為商店的最佳作品,還被掛放在照相館的大窗口展示了很長一段時間。

嶽父是一個聰明好學的人。他有幾十年的藥廠倉庫管理工作經驗,他的化學很好,精通藥物原料和藥廠的很多配方。他退休前幾年就有很多小藥廠和他聯係,要他退休後幫他們辦 藥廠。他的珠算也打的很好,大藥廠的原料計算數字很大,精度要求高,那時候還沒有計算機,他便用兩個算盤連成一排來計算原料的用量,這對珠算的技巧,準確度都要求很高。

太太經常提到她小時候的往事。長沙的夏天非常炎熱,她父親有時會用一點維C,加上一杯水,調配出一些非常清涼可口的飲料,喝起來有點像酸梅飲料。有時侯,爸爸對她們姐妹生氣嘮叨,但是,隻要她媽媽一回家,爸爸便會停止嘮叨。每次爸爸不高興時,她們姐妹們便盼著媽媽早一點回家,這樣爸爸就不會嘮叨了。她上中學時,放學後,她總是呆在學校參加文藝宣傳隊跳舞,玩乒乓,一直玩到很晚才回家。她的大妹妹每次回家很早,然後開始生火做飯,有時侯不小心把飯燒糊了,爸爸就會責備她妹妹,嘮叨她沒有把事情做好。生活中有時候很不公平,做事得多的人,挨罵也越多。

太太說她父親是個觀念比較傳統的人,心情不好時總是抱怨自己命苦。因為家中沒有男孩子,許多體力活都得由父親一人承擔,加之他個子瘦小、身體欠佳,難免感到苦惱。她父親也是個膽小怕事的人。她家當年住在一個很老舊的房子裏,裏麵很多老鼠。每到夜晚睡覺時,老鼠就出來活動了,在家裏跑來跑去,有時候還會爬到他們的蚊帳頂上,床頭旁邊打架。有一次,嶽父沒有注意踩到了一隻老鼠,隻見他嚇得一身發抖。

“窮人家的孩子早當家”,太太是家中三個孩子的老大,從小就是一個小管家。她長大後,父親平時很多事情都會和她商量,要她去辦理,還要承擔家裏的許多體力活。她和父親的關係非常好,她們總是有很多的話說。她們在同一個單位工作,從家走到單位有十多分鍾的路程。在冬天,她怕父親摔跤,喜歡挽著父親的胳膊,一起不緊不慢走到辦公室。很多同事看見她們,都誇她父親有福氣。她父親總是很開心,特別享受他和女兒的溫馨時刻。有一次,她幫她父親蓋被子後,她悄悄地在他額頭上親了一下,她父親笑著對她說“耍姑娘”,這是她一生中唯一的一次親吻她父親。她二十多歲時,她父親看到她沒有男朋友,到了星期天,他總是在她的背後拍一拍,笑著對她說“星期天休息,你怎麽不出去玩啊”?她知道父親的意思,便對父親說“哪一天,我有了朋友,就不呆會呆在家了,不要催我出去玩”。

我和太太剛認識不久的一個周末的晚上,我離開她家時已經晚上九點多了。冬天的夜晚,外麵一片漆黑。我剛一騎上單車,往下一坐,突然感到座椅是空的。我趕忙下車撿查,發現單車坐椅被別人偷走了。我不得不返回她家,告訴他們單車的坐椅被別人偷走了。嶽父聽說後很生氣,搖搖頭說“這裏真是一個賊窩啊”。由於時間太晚,已經沒有了公交車,我隻好留在他們家過夜。接著,我把單車搬到樓上,停放在他們家門口。

嶽父家隻有兩間房,那天晚上,我和嶽父睡一個床。他很快就睡著了,接著開始打鼾,他的鼾聲越來越大,真是鼾聲雷動,我整晚幾乎沒有入睡。第二天起床後,太太帶我到後山去跑步,她問我昨晚睡得好不好,我點點頭回答說“睡得還好”。她笑著說“我爸爸打鼾聲音很大,三樓的人都可以聽到”。我們跑步後剛進家門,嶽父告訴我們單車的坐椅找到了。原來,單車坐椅被嶽父對麵鄰居家,廠保衛科長的兒子偷了,聽鄰居說他家的單車坐椅已經被人偷走了三個。所以,他兒子也想偷一個回來,沒想到正好偷了鄰居家的,趕快把偷到的坐椅送了過來,真是很尷尬啊。

有一天,我太太要我周末上她家吃飯,那天正好是我的生日,她媽媽準備了一桌豐盛的美食。在八十年代,食品非常貧乏,那樣豐盛的美食確實使我這個長期吃食堂的人有點受寵若驚,畢竟我和太太才認識幾個月,我也從來沒有慶祝過生日。 我太太看到我有點不好意思,她趕忙告訴我她爸爸生日和我的生日隻差兩天,這是我們一起慶祝你們兩個人的生日。她這樣的解釋倒使我鬆了一口氣,托我嶽父的福氣,後來,每逢我們生日的那個周末,嶽母總是會準備一桌精美可口的湖南菜,擺上幾瓶美酒,請一些親朋好友和我們一起慶祝生日。飯後大家打麻將,聊天,玩得很開心。嶽母的廚藝很好,做的菜都是美味可口,特別是她做的蒸臘魚,臘肉更是我最喜歡的兩個老家傳統菜。我到美國幾十年後,每次回家鄉,我都會品賞到嶽母做的蒸臘魚,臘肉,真是愛心難忘。

記得我和太太剛結婚不久,嶽父對我說:“你和大妹子結婚真是找對了,她是一個很會當家的人“。嶽父說的很對,幾十年來,太太一直以井井有條的方式管理著我們的家。特別是在我們剛來美國的前幾年,那時候,我們家的收入很少,生活艱難,但是,太太總是每餐都可以為我們做出各種美食。

 

嶽父每天晚餐喜歡喝一點點白酒,嶽母都會為他準備一些可口的下酒菜,我太太總是喜歡幫老爸夾菜,照顧非常周到。嶽父一生都保留了飯後抽一支煙的習慣,雖然他的煙癮不大,但是至少也是兩天抽一包。嶽父抽煙後,老是咳嗽,有時咳得滿臉通紅,家人都勸他把煙戒掉,他總是說沒事。戒煙這事說起來容易,做起來很難,對一個抽了一輩子煙的人更是不容易,他嚐試過幾次戒煙,但是都沒有成功。我太太見她父親戒煙不成,便總是買一些好牌子的煙給他,不要他抽太差的煙。 

嶽父沒有什麽業餘愛好。到退休時,他身體開始變得越來越差,心肺功能不好,體力下降,走路喘氣不過來,經常吃完飯後坐在沙發上就睡著了。一個周末,我帶大女兒去動物園參觀,然後,我們一起到了嶽父家。那天中午,他獨自一人在家,看上去很疲倦,走路也很吃力,我和他一起準備中餐,快吃飯時,他說他到樓下去一下就回來。過了十來分鍾,他提著一瓶啤酒,很吃力地從門外走進來。看到這情景,我趕忙說“謝謝您,您太客氣了”,他說“沒事呐,沒事呐”。這事一直銘記在我的心中,使我心存感激,又深感內疚。他病的那樣嚴重,走路都走不動了,還忘不了要去給女婿買一瓶啤酒。十幾天以後,也就是1992年12月初,嶽父突然心髒病發作,病危住院,兩天以後不幸與世長辭,享年61歲。

嶽父離開我們已經三十多年了,他是一個非常平凡的人。他那誠懇待人的態度,與世無爭的性格,對家人無微不至的關懷永遠銘刻在我的心中。每次看到我太太高興得笑時,我總會對她說”你笑起來和你爸爸一模一樣,真可愛“。

English Version

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閱讀 ()評論 (11)
評論
PingJiangLi 回複 悄悄話 回複 '油翁' 的評論 : 謝謝你的翻譯。我的英文翻譯不好,所以,每次我都是用chatGpt,它翻的英文比我的好太多了,時態都可以翻出來。
油翁 回複 悄悄話 不好意思。文章太好,我不小心當了一回翻譯,請刪去無妨。
油翁 回複 悄悄話 Father's Day in 2024 has arrived, and I want to share some stories about my father-in-law to commemorate this elder, thank him for raising a wonderful daughter who has become my lifelong companion, and changed my life.

My father-in-law is an extremely ordinary, honest, and humble common worker. Through years of being with my father-in-law, this kind elder has left a profound and positive impression in my heart. This year marks his 88th birthday, and I write this to honor this forgotten figure and express my respect, gratitude, and remembrance towards him.

My father-in-law is not tall, with a slender body, big bright eyes, always smiling. Every time I visit his home, I see him busy with various tasks. While my mother-in-law is busy cooking in the kitchen, he helps out quietly by washing vegetables, wiping the table, attending to chores diligently. He is a man of few words, always listening attentively during lively conversations, occasionally interjecting a simple sentence or two with a smile.

My father-in-law grew up in a large family, with eight siblings, being the third eldest. His siblings are all well-educated senior intellectuals before the Cultural Revolution, and their relationships are harmonious, gathering together during holidays at several relatives' homes near the city. Soon after my wife and I got married, we also attended a gathering at her aunt's house, where the familial atmosphere left a deep impression on me.

My father-in-law's eldest sister lives in Shanghai, where she and her husband are businessmen. When I was studying in Shanghai, I sometimes visited her home on weekends. Their family was very warm and welcoming, and I remember being impressed by their conversations about running businesses and going abroad. This exposure kindled my desire to study abroad, a dream that I pursued later on.

During my wife's childhood, her grandfather told her stories about the family history. He had a silk store on the May Day Square in downtown Changsha, which was taken away in the early 1950s. Despite his intention to move to Hong Kong, his wife's reluctance caused him to miss the opportunity to escape the societal upheaval. After his property was confiscated, he was sent to labor reform in the countryside, where he passed away due to an injury from being dragged by a cow at work.

Father-in-law's height, he apprenticed in his father's shop after accidentally breaking his foot in secondary school. He showed honesty and reliability by passing tests set up by fellow shop assistants. Despite facing challenges, like a bag with a hole causing coins to fall out, he maintained integrity. His dedication and hard work earned respect among peers.

Father-in-law and mother-in-law's marriage was a tale of patience and courage. Despite societal pressures due to their backgrounds and a lack of physical support, they prevailed and tied the knot. Their marriage endured through hardship, a testament to their love and commitment to each other.

Father-in-law was a savvy and dedicated worker, excelling in managing a pharmaceutical warehouse. His expertise in chemistry and mathematics served him well throughout his career, earning the respect of his peers. His retirement years saw him getting offers from small pharmaceutical companies to assist them post-retirement, a testament to his skills and reputation.

Father-in-law was a man of simple pleasures, enjoying a glass of white wine with appetizers every evening. While his habit of smoking caused discomfort, his daughter would buy him high-quality cigarettes, accompanying his post-dinner routine. His struggles to quit smoking showcased his resilience and his daughter's unwavering support.

Despite his declining health in his later years, father-in-law remained selfless and caring towards his family. His small gestures, like buying a beer for a visiting son-in-law, demonstrated his kindness and consideration. His sudden passing due to a heart attack left a void in our family, but his memories and legacy continue to inspire and shape our lives.

Three decades have passed since father-in-law's departure, yet his genuine character, humble demeanor, and unwavering love for his family remain etched in our hearts. His influence on my wife's upbringing and my own life will always be cherished and remembered. As I see my wife's resemblance to her father when she smiles, I can't help but remark, "You look just like your dad when you smile - it's adorable."
timex2 回複 悄悄話 美好的一家人,真情實感,寫的很感人。
goingplace 回複 悄悄話 你也是個善良的人,這麽多年過去了,你記得你嶽父對你的好。
PingJiangLi 回複 悄悄話 回複 '菲兒天地' 的評論 : 謝謝鼓勵!
PingJiangLi 回複 悄悄話 回複 '混跡花草中的灰蘑菇' 的評論 : 謝謝蘑菇的鼓勵。
菲兒天地 回複 悄悄話 回複 '混跡花草中的灰蘑菇' 的評論 : +1

寫得真好,感情真摯,很棒的父親節紀念文。文裏還讀到很多親情的描述,真實,感人。。。
混跡花草中的灰蘑菇 回複 悄悄話 喜歡李兄以平實的文字和生活細節來紀念嶽父,有一種輕言細語娓娓道來的氛圍感,感覺得到那份真情實意。“你笑起來和你爸爸一模一樣,真可愛“,好有愛:)
混跡花草中的灰蘑菇 回複 悄悄話 還說先在老鄉家坐個沙發呢,板凳吧:)
紅泥小火爐2022 回複 悄悄話 寫的非常感人!拜讀了!
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