ZF_ Communication Skills

SOFTSKILL SERIES ：

Communication Skills包括聽說讀寫。通過閱讀和寫作來培養說，讀和寫的能力。但聽的訓練比較少。Stephen Covey提出五個階段的聽：

ignoring (忽視)- 開小會時，有人問問題，回答的答非所問。這種情況在高層上很少，因為他們答完都會問: did I answer your question?（我回答了你的問題嗎?)
pretending (裝樣) - 有一次，同事和我說，另一同事很次開會都說同樣的話，不知道他到底明不明白。
selective listening（選擇行的聽）- 隻聽見自己想聽的。有時回頭看會議視頻，發現自己遺漏了好多信息。
attentive listening （仔細地聽）- 認真仔細地聽，每個詞都注意到了。能做到這點就很不錯。
empathic listening （感同身受地聽）-設身處地站在對方立場聽。不但用耳朵聽話語，還有用眼睛看肢體語言，用心去體會說話者的心情。這是最有效的。需要改變自己的character去感同身受地聆聽。

Stephen 列了個孩子給母親講不喜歡學校的母子對話。

"Come on, honey, tell me how you feel, I know it's hard, but I will try to understand."
"Oh, I don't know, Mom. You'd think it was stupid."
"Of course I wouldn't! You can tell me. what's making you so unhappy?"
"Well, to tell you the truth, I just don't like school anymore."
"What!" （respond incredulously.） "What do you mean you don't like school? And after all the sacrifices we've made for your education! Education is the foundation of your future. If you'd apply yourself like your older sister does, you'd do better and then you'd like school. Time and time again, we've told you to settle down, You've got the ability. but you just don't appy yourself. Try harder. Get a postive attude about it."

在這段對話中，母親徹底忽視孩子不喜歡學校。沒問緣由，反而用姐姐的例子來指責。你覺得這樣的對話結果如何？Stephen還舉了另一個父子對話。

"Dad, I've had it! School is for the birds!”
"You're really frustrated about school."
"I sure am, It's totally impractical. I'm not getting a thing out of it."
"You feel like school's not doing you any good."
"Well, yeah, I'm just not learning anything that's going to help me. I mean, look at Joe. He's dropped out of school and he's working on cars. He's making money. Now, that's practical."
"You feel that Joe really has the right idea."
"Well, I guess he does in a way. He's really making money now. But in a few years, I bet he'll probaly be ticked off at himself."
"You think Joe's going to feel he made the wrong decision?"
"He's got to. Just look at what he's giving up. I mean, if you don't have an education, you just can't make it in this world."
"Education is really important."
"It is, And ... you know what? I am really worried, Listen, you won't tell Mom, will you?"
"You don't want your mother to find out."
"Well, not really. Oh, I guess you can tell her. She'll probably find out anyways. Look, I took this test today. This reading test. And Dad, they said I'm reading on a fourth-grade level. Fourth-grade! And I am a junior in high school!"

對比一下這兩段對話。父親真正聆聽孩子的問題，孩子自己知道是哪裏的問題。問題明了，解決的方法自然會浮出。這樣的對話bring out the best parts of you.