情人節怪論——親情絕不是愛情！

情人節很多朋友都會若有所思的感慨一番，自然最多的還是對愛情的渴望、向往和追求了。有人就提出了“愛情”的最高境界，一定就是升華到了“親情”。乍聽起來此言似乎不無道理，也還算是合情，但絕不合理！

很多人認為“一段健康的婚姻和良好的親密關係當中，一定要具備三個要素：親情，友情和激情。不僅要有親人般的依賴與安全感，還要有朋友般的信任與默契，最重要的是要有情人般的激情！……”為什麽是情人般的“激情”，而不是愛情呢？或許就是這一字之差成就的我的這篇文章。與此同時接下來我聽到最多的就是，我們之間的感覺就像是左手摸右手一樣……！請三思這句話意味的是什麽？

恕我直言，三個要素的第一個就不對。所謂的“親情”一般應該定義是有血緣關係的人、血緣最接近人之間的感情。通常“親情”被定義是父母，兄弟姊妹和子女之間的感情，這些才是真正意義上的親情。（有時也會被特指親密、感情深厚的人之間超越了友情、但這一定又是有區別於愛情的情義，是不可替代、不可等同的。）我相信那僅僅隻能算是有所特指意義上的“親情”罷了！因為血永遠濃於水的才是親情！

至於夫妻之間，也僅僅隻能算是根本就沒有血緣關係男女之間所謂的“兒女情長”！如果一對夫妻要是把他們之間的感情都活成了“親情”，那未免也太現實了！從理論和邏輯上分析又怎麽可能？！沒有血緣關係哪裏又會有親情可言！是冠冕堂皇的自欺欺人，還是道貌岸然的不打自招？！這種感覺的真實性，有待我們進一步驗證！

因為親情不是愛情！從理論上、從倫理道德上、從生物學的定義上都是不可能做到的。那也隻不過是人們的一種借口或是說詞罷了！真可謂是“激情”過後已再無“愛情”可言，換作“親情”欺人騙己而已！前麵講過在夫妻之間的三條裏，沒有一條談及愛情的，誰還相信他們之間的感情會是相濡以沫可以白頭偕老？我好想知道，作為一個正常的男人、女人，在他們之間不談愛情，隻談親情、友情，那“激情”又算是個什麽東西？難道就是升華了愛情的親情？那又怎麽可能有在一起“滾床單”的激情？這豈不是騙人的謊話嗎？

其實，從生理學定義的角度來看一言以蔽之是假的欲蓋彌彰！（因為沒有血緣關係，就不可能有親情存在）這或許僅僅隻是人們的一種美好願望而已！而且還是在男女之間“神秘”情感交流過後，也已再無任何任何秘密探索可言了。簡而言之，就是激情過後，對自己的伴侶再也沒有任何所求（激情）之後的美其名曰-將“愛情”升華成為了“親情”！完完全全是謊言，此時此刻一旦有異性的無意介入，必然會導致她/他們又從新燃起了激情（所謂的愛情第三者）。

若把夫妻關係活到了這份上，是件非常恐怖和可悲的事情！愛情絕不是親情！僅僅隻有親情的夫妻雙方是不可能再有“激情”四射的魅力了！請記住你們身邊的人，是誰這樣形容過自己婚姻的伴侶和生活。又是誰說過這樣的話…….。或許，他們的婚姻生活已然在不經意間發生了些許的變化！……但我仍然衷心的希望天下有情人終成眷屬，並白頭偕老不離不棄以享天年！……

（感謝閱讀欣賞和留言評論）

[diaowm]

有血緣關係的親人之間不一定就有親情。親人之間反目成仇的例子比比皆是。
至於那些沒有愛情的夫妻硬是說還有親情就是自欺欺人了。沒有血緣關係的男女之間沒有了愛情就是陌生人，隻是因為雙方有某種需要才在一起生活。這些需求一旦不存在了，婚姻也就失去維係力了。

[睿智與弱智]

回複 'elfie' 的評論 : Thank you for reading and leaving a message, especially your sharing does have your own unique insights. Because your life environment experience and experience determine how you should live. For a family, it doesn't matter whether the husband and wife can grow old together. That's what I want to say: love can be terminated at any time, but family affection is a lifetime. Whether you admit it or not, the relationship between you is Objective facts. Whether men or women need love, in the different experiences of each of us in life, parents and elders may leave real life and go to the world of bliss earlier than their children. This is a fact or natural law that everyone must accept! No one can find or recognize a parent again, because you no longer need this kind of care when you grow up! This is determined by blood relationship. Blood relationship still cannot be copied and transferred, and some are passed down from generation to generation. However, the relationship between husband and wife is very different. As long as you are willing, you can repeat endlessly, get married, divorce, get married and divorce... Maybe your point of view is not wrong, but blood thicker than water is always family affection! Whether you admit it or not, in fact, you don't need to admit it at all! You can't stop your subjective consciousness, but love is not! Thank you for reading and sharing your message. I wish you happy every day!

[睿智與弱智]

回複 'elfie' 的評論 : 感謝你的閱讀和留言，特別是你的分享確實有著自己獨特的見解。因為你的生活環境經曆和閱曆決定了你該如何去生活，對於一個家庭來說，是否夫妻兩人可以白頭偕老，都無關緊要，這也就是我要說的：愛情可以隨時終止，但親情卻是一生一世，無論你承認與否，你們之間的關係怎樣，都是客觀存在的事實。無論男人女人都需要愛情，在我們每個人生的不同經曆中，父母長輩或許會早於子女離開現實生活去到極樂世界，這是每個人都必須要接受的事實或是自然規律！無論是誰都絕不可能再去找或認一個父母來，因為你長大成人了不再需要這種嗬護了！這是血緣關係決定的，血緣關係現在還是無法複製和轉移的，有也是父子子孫代代相傳而已。然而夫妻關係則大相徑庭，隻要你願意可以無止境的重複，結婚離婚再結婚離婚......。或許你的觀點並沒有錯，但是血濃於水的永遠是親情！無論你承認與否，其實，也根本就無需你承認！親情是你無法主觀意識停止的，而愛情則不然了！謝謝你的閱讀及留言分享，祝你開心快樂每一天！

[睿智與弱智]

回複 '秒秒' 的評論 : 你可以有一大堆的範本實例來證明，你所說的一切都符合你的觀點。但是所有的這些又必須要符合科學和邏輯推理及事實。因為所謂的“親情”就是血緣關係的關係，是可以通過物理手段檢測到，也是生物學意義上的毋庸置疑的。至於遇到困難了誰來幫助過你，即使是父母不幫你，他們依然還是你的父母。你不可能也不會僅此而已不承認他們是你的父母，即使你不承認他們也還依然是你的父母。婚姻裏的他/她幫你是天經地義，理所當然的。幫了你也有不了血緣關係，隻有愛情而還是沒有親情。親情是你無法改變的，而愛情你則可以隨時終止！感謝你閱讀留言分享，祝你開心快樂

[睿智與弱智]

回複 '雪中梅' 的評論 : 感謝閱讀欣賞和留言祝福，也祝你開心快樂每一天！

[睿智與弱智]

回複 'FollowNature' 的評論 : 感謝閱讀欣賞和留言，知道你是認同我的觀點了。有時候實話未見得好聽，更是會耐人尋味。祝你愉快！

[魅力野花]

愛情絕不是親情!

[雪中梅]

欣賞了，平安是福。

[秒秒]

我就知道最困難的時候誰幫助我。誰就是我的親人。
事實證明什麽同事朋友兄弟都不是。隻有婚姻關係。

[elfie]

I don't love my husband, neither does he love me, but I do respect him as my children's father, and he respects me as their mother. It's an iron triangle or pentagon: three children, two parents, and a life contract.
It's totally fine to live this way. We have 100% trust in our partnership
with no more sex involved. We pull our duties to raise up children, to maintain the household, or just to live an everyday life. Maybe you don't get this, because you have had a different experience. Blood relationships are weaker compared with this kind of relationship we have as a core family, because we have the same burden to share. You can't get out of the yolk of marriage easily if you value your own family. We don't have elderly parents and other relatives living together or close by. So it's all depending on our own resolve to survive and thrive. No grandmas, uncles, aunts, cousins or siblings. That kind of relationship has been downgraded to nothing in this American life we live.

[elfie]

Chinese people like to overvalue blood relationships, so your uncle and nephews are more important to you than your spouse.
The fact is this kind of agricultural society is gone. You no longer have anything to do with your siblings, uncles and aunts when you grow up.
The most important people are from your core family, i.e. your spouse and children. Having intimacy or passion or not isn't important either.
It is true that your relationship with your spouse is above and beyond love and
sex. It's more like a partnership for livelihood and welfare. You guys share the common assets, properties and obligations to each other.
What is more long lasting? Passion or a serious commitment for a long term contract? Marriage is a social contract in essence. You keep it till death does you apart, or your free will. You don't even need to love the other party to honor that contract, like you don't need to love your employer or your job.

[FollowNature]

你咋這麽愛講實話呢？