I Will Fly

I will fly

Comes the night
With unbearable quiet
To the farthest end of your endurances
I gently fly

Like a vessel from a feather
On the fleecy waves
Your soft breath is coming
Into my sight

So I follow the song
And found the hidden light
You are the brightest star
In my darkest night

[舞曼西樓]

金秋君的version也不錯！謝謝了：）

[獨立金秋]

Comes the night
With unbearable quietness
To the farthest end of your endurances
I start my gentle flight

"vessel" is a general term for ship, boat and other load carrying vehicles. It is quite acceptable in this poem.

[作舟]

u r sooo welcome .... didn't mean to point out the "mistakes" ....thank you for sharing also!

[舞曼西樓]

謝謝作舟君的批改！你的版本的確好得多。我從沒寫過英文詩。 但我很喜歡讀。望以後多多指教：））

[作舟]

I will fly

Night comes
With unbearable silence
The far end of your endurings
I gently fly

Like a vessel of feathers
On a fleecy sea
Your softly breathing
Into my ears....eyes....

So I follow the song
And found the hidden light
You are the brightest star
In my darkest night

............

i am not sure about "vessel" either ..... i would choose "ship" or "boat" even ....