周末娛樂一下

1. Doctor: "I have some bad news and some worse news. The bad news is that you have only 24 hours left to live." Patient: "That is bad news. What could be worse?"

Doctor: "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."

醫生：“我有一些壞消息，還有一些更壞的消息。壞消息是你隻剩下24小時的生命了。” 病人：“那是個壞消息。還有什麽比這更糟的嗎？”

醫生：“從昨天開始我就一直在聯係你。”

 

2. My son, Scott, an insurance broker in Florida, loves ocean fishing and takes his cell phone along on the boat. One morning we were drifting about ten miles offshore as Scott discussed business on the phone. Suddenly his rod bent double, and the reel screamed as line poured off the spool.

Scott was master of the situation. “Pardon me,” he told his customer calmly.

“I have a call on another line.”

我的兒子 Scott 是佛羅裏達州的一名保險經紀人，他喜歡遠洋釣魚，並在船上隨身攜帶他的手機。 一天早上，斯科特在電話中討論業務時，我們正在離岸大約 10 英裏處漂流。 突然，他的釣竿彎曲了兩倍，隨著線從線軸上傾瀉而下，卷軸發出尖叫聲。

斯科特是處理這種情況的高人。 “對不起，”他平靜地告訴他的顧客。

“我在另一條線上有電話。”

 

3. Telephone solicitors are one of my father’s pet peeves. He is especially annoyed by those who offer “free gifts” as part of their sales pitch. Late one night, Dad was in bed when the phone rang.

The voice on the end of the line said: “Congratulations, you’ve just won a free burial plot!”

“Great!” Dad replied. “Send it over.” Then he hung up.

電話推銷員是我父親的煩惱。他特別對那些在推銷中提供“免費禮物”的人感到惱火。 有一天深夜，電話響的時候，爸爸正在床上。

電話那頭的聲音說：“恭喜你，你剛剛贏得了免費墓地！”

“很好！” 爸爸回答。 “送過來。” 然後他掛斷了。

 

4. Trying to explain to our five-year-old daughter how much computers had changed, my husband pointed to our brand-new

personal computer and told her that when he was in college, a computer with the same amount of power would have been the size of a house.

Wide-eyed, our daughter asked, “How big was the mouse?”

我丈夫試圖向我們五歲的女兒解釋電腦發生了多大變化，我丈夫指著我們全新的

個人電腦，並告訴她，當他上大學時，一台具有相同功能的電腦將有一個房子那麽大。

女兒睜大眼睛問道：“那鼠標器有多大呢？”

 

5. My husband was bending over to tie my three-year-old’s shoes. That’s when I noticed my son, Ben, staring at my husband’s head.

  He gently touched the slightly thinning spot of hair and said in a concerned voice, “Daddy, you have a hole in your head. Does it hurt?”

  After a pause, I heard my husband’s murmured reply: “Not physically.”

我丈夫正彎腰為我三歲的孩子係鞋帶。 就在那時，我注意到我的兒子本正盯著我丈夫的頭。

   他輕輕摸了摸那微微稀疏的頭發，關切地說道：“爹地，你腦袋上有個洞。 疼嗎？”

   頓了頓，我聽到丈夫低聲回答：“不是身體上的。”