正文
45.《幽默的奧地利人》
多年以前，第一次訪問歐洲，給我留下深刻印象的是奧地利人濃鬱的幽默感。
1. 雙頭金鷹
維也納的夏宮是旅遊者的必訪之地。富麗堂皇的宮殿內外、簷角牆頭遍布浮雕和雕塑。
最引人注目的是雙頭金鷹雕像，牠立在夏宮門外廣場前一對石柱的頂端。金光閃閃，展翅昂首，引頸欲飛。我們不由得駐足仰望，細細品味金鷹的意境。
奧地利朋友黃立人先生自豪地介紹說：“這是上一個世紀，稱雄歐洲的奧匈帝國的象征。” 我們不由得肅然起敬起來。這時他又打斷了我們的思緒問道：“猜猜這金鷹要飛往何方？”
待了一會，他不無調侃地說“一鳥雙頭，各望西東。奧匈帝國就像這雙頭鷹一樣，違反自然規律，早已分裂瓦解，不複存在了！”
2. 飲酒退兵
八月末，九月初適逢奧地利葡萄酒節，在暢飲醇香味美的葡萄酒之餘，不由得談起有好酒量的奧地利人。
黃立人先生說：“戰後初期，在維也納還有蘇聯占領軍駐守。維也納市長與蘇軍司令常常飲宴相邀。彼此之間也常常以葡萄酒相敬相較。蘇軍司令是戰場上的英雄，但在酒場上卻是每飲必醉，每醉必倒。不得不向市長低頭認輸。
到蘇軍撤退之時， 維也納市民歡呼慶祝結束占領，大遊行時，人們抬起維也納市長，恭維他是飲酒退兵的大功臣。
3. 音樂大軍
在奧地利期間，注意到社會治安甚好。街道上絕少看到警察，更難得見到軍人的蹤影。 倒是音樂家的雕像和紀念地比比皆是。
黃立人博士自豪地說：“雖然我們沒有強大的國防軍，但是我們有一支名冠全球的音樂大軍。莫紮特，施特勞就是司令和將軍；富於音樂修養的奧地利人民就是他的士兵。
麵對支戰無不勝的音樂大軍，希特勒，拿破倫，蘇聯紅軍都不得不甘拜下風。
4. 古拉什牛肉
在歐洲的大小飯店，常常見到一道匈牙利名菜 — 古拉什牛肉，味道類似天津起士林的紅燴牛肉。在奧地利吃起來卻別有一番風味，
一是那盛菜的家什，竟然是一隻吊在彎彎小鐵架上的小鋼盔，下麵放一盞酒精燈，青焰冉冉升起，鋼盔裏的菜肴咕嘟咕嘟冒泡。
二是奧地利朋友邊吃邊講：“這道美食起源於第一次世界大戰時，戰場上的士兵昇起營火，架起鋼盔；以就地撿拾的土豆和戰死疆場的馬肉一起烹煮而成。這苦中求生之舉發展成為一道傳世名菜：“古拉什牛肉” 寓意深遠，它示人以和平生存的珍貴道理。
5. 最短的書
黃博士是名副其實的奧地利中國通，席次間講述過一段笑話，他先問我們：“世界上最短的的三本書是什麽？” 我們一時語滯，隻好聽其緩緩道來：“我的答案一是英國的食譜，二是德國的聖經，三是瑞士的笑話。”
這應該是奧地利人調侃周圍的鄰居的笑談吧？在奧地利人看來，英國人生活十分簡樸，食譜當然甚短； 德國人不在乎上帝，聖經自然簡單；瑞士人嚴謹刻板，幽默感似乎少了些！
黃博士似乎認為，維也納才是歐洲的心髒，猶如中國的上海。生活品味，音樂修養都是歐洲翹楚。細想起來，的確有幾分道理。
6. 各有所長
後來居英期間，習慣了英國人的餐館和家庭飲宴，食譜的確簡單得很。一位請我參加家宴的主婦，端上桌的主菜就是一隻烤羊腿，席前問我的問題竟然是：“你知道天安門廣場坦克人的姓名嗎？” 原來這位女君子也是食無求飽者呀。
在德國考查時，注意到德國人周日不一定去做彌撒。青年人也愛去市政廳舉行簡單的婚禮。談話間往往涉及兩德的未來和統一，也十分關注環境保護。一次在接待西德OTTO * 公司來訪的CEO時，帶他參觀天津的建築垃圾堆山工程現場時，他看到我們拆除後扔掉的整磚和半磚，心痛不已，大呼：“你們太浪費資源了。” 他說：“二戰後重建家園時，我們連八分之一的磚頭都不舍得丟掉啊！”
鄰居瑞士人精準守時，說到做到。我的連襟是位瑞士機械師，做事務求完美，從來不說笑話。每次出國安裝機器，會把一次出差的所有單據，車票，機票、門票、照片甚至地圖整整齊齊的剪貼成冊。他家的客廳裏已經有幾十本這樣的紀念冊，整整齊齊地放在書架上，等待主人的回顧。
每當回憶起在奧地利遇上的人和事，的確都有一種寓意雋永，回味無窮之感。再見吧，幽默的奧地利朋友！
再見吧，簡樸、務實、刻板、守時的歐洲朋友！
筆者記於九十年代初，2021年12月定稿於美西矽穀。
?? 機器翻譯
45. 《The HUMOROUS AUSTRIAN》
Many years ago, my first visit to Europe impressed me with the strong sense of humor of Austrians.
1. Double-headed golden eagle
The Summer Palace in Vienna is a must-visit place for tourists. The magnificent palace is full of reliefs and sculptures inside and outside, and on the corner walls.
The most eye-catching is the statue of the two-headed golden eagle, which stands at the top of a pair of stone pillars in front of the square outside the summer palace gate. The golden light shines, spreading its wings and holding its head high, attracting its neck to fly. We can\'t help but stop and look up and savor the artistic conception of the Golden Eagle.
Mr. Huang Liren, an Austrian friend, proudly introduced, This is the symbol of the Austro-Hungarian Empire that dominated Europe in the last century. We couldn\'t help awe-inspiring. At this time, he interrupted our thoughts and asked, Guess where the Golden Eagle is going to fly?
After a while, he joked, A bird with two heads, each looking west and east. The Austro-Hungarian Empire, like this two-headed eagle, violated the laws of nature, had long been divided and disintegrated, and no longer existed!
2. Drink and retreat.
Late August and early September coincide with the Austrian Wine Festival. In addition to drinking mellow and delicious wine, I can\'t help talking about Austrians who have a good amount of wine.
Mr. Huang Liren said, In the early post-war period, Soviet occupation forces were stationed in Vienna. The mayor of Vienna and the commander of the Soviet army often invite each other at dinner. They often respect each other with wine. The commander of the Soviet army is a hero on the battlefield, but in the winery, he will get drunk every time he drinks and falls down every time he gets drunk. I had to bow my head to the mayor and admit defeat.
When the Soviet army retreated, the citizens of Vienna cheered to celebrate the end of the occupation. During the parade, the mayor of Vienna was raised and complimented him as a great contributor to drinking and retreating troops.
3. Army of music
During my stay in Austria, I noticed that social security was very good. There are few policemen on the street, let alone soldiers. Instead, statues and memorials of musicians are everywhere.
Dr. Huang Liren said proudly, Although we don\'t have a strong national defense force, we have a world-renowned music army. Mozart, Straw is the commander and general; the musically cultivated Austrian people are his soldiers.
In the face of the invincible music army, Hitler, Napoleum and the Soviet Red Army all had to give in.
4. Gulash beef
In restaurants in Europe, we often see a famous Hungarian dish - Gulash beef, which tastes similar to the red stewed beef in Tianjin cheeselin. It tastes unique in Austria.
One is the dishhouse. It turned out to be a small helmet hanging from the curved iron frame. There was an alcohol lamp under it. The green flames rose slowly, and the dishes in the helmet were gurgling and bubbled.
Second, an Austrian friend said as he ate, This delicacy originated in World War I. Soldiers on the battlefield raised campfires and set up helmets; cooked potatoes picked up in place and horse meat in the battlefield. This struggle to survive has developed into a famous dish handed down from generation to generation: Gulashi Beef has a far-reaching meaning, and it shows the precious truth of peaceful survival.
5. The shortest book
Dr. Huang is a veritable Austrian Chinaton. During his seat, he told a joke. He first asked us, What are the shortest three books in the world? We were sluggish for a while, so we had to listen to it slowly: My answer is the British recipe, the German Bible, and the Swiss joke.
This should be an Austrian joke about the neighbors around him, right? To the Austrians, the British life is very simple, and the recipe is certainly very short; the Germans don\'t care about God, and the Bible is naturally simple; the Swiss are rigorous and rigid, and the sense of humor seems to be less!
Dr. Huang seems to think that Vienna is the heart of Europe, just like Shanghai in China. Life taste and music cultivation are all European leaders. Thinking about it, there is indeed some truth.
6. Each has their own strong points
Later, when I lived in the UK, I was used to British restaurants and family banquets. The recipe was really simple. A housewife who invited me to the family banquet served a roast leg of mutton. The question that asked me at the banquet turned out to be: Do you know the name of the tanker in Tiananmen Square? It turns out that this gentlewoman is also a man who can\'t eat enough.
During the German test, I noticed that Germans may not go to Mass on Sunday. Young people also like to go to the city hall for simple weddings. The conversation often involves the future and unity of the two virtues, and also pays great attention to environmental protection. Once in reception of the visiting CEO of West Germany OTTO * Company, he took him to visit the construction garbage dump project site in Tianjin. When he saw the whole bricks and half bricks we threw away after demolition, he was heartbroken and shouted, You are too waste of resources. He said, When we rebuild our homes after World War II, we are reluctant to throw away one-eighth of the bricks!
The neighbor Swiss is accurate and punctual, and he does what he says. My company is a Swiss mechanic. I do things for perfection and never tell jokes. Every time you go abroad to install a machine, all the receipts, tickets, tickets, tickets, photos and even maps of a business trip will be neatly clipped and pasted into a book. There are already dozens of such souvenir books in his living room, neatly placed on the bookshelf, waiting for the owner\'s review.
Whenever I recall the people and things I met in Austria, there is indeed a sense of meaningful meaning and endless aftertaste. Goodbye, humorous Austrian friend!
Goodbye, simple, pragmatic, rigid and punctual European friend!
The author recorded it in the early 1990s and was finalized in Silicon Valley in the United States in December 2021.
多年以前，第一次訪問歐洲，給我留下深刻印象的是奧地利人濃鬱的幽默感。
1. 雙頭金鷹
維也納的夏宮是旅遊者的必訪之地。富麗堂皇的宮殿內外、簷角牆頭遍布浮雕和雕塑。
最引人注目的是雙頭金鷹雕像，牠立在夏宮門外廣場前一對石柱的頂端。金光閃閃，展翅昂首，引頸欲飛。我們不由得駐足仰望，細細品味金鷹的意境。
奧地利朋友黃立人先生自豪地介紹說：“這是上一個世紀，稱雄歐洲的奧匈帝國的象征。” 我們不由得肅然起敬起來。這時他又打斷了我們的思緒問道：“猜猜這金鷹要飛往何方？”
待了一會，他不無調侃地說“一鳥雙頭，各望西東。奧匈帝國就像這雙頭鷹一樣，違反自然規律，早已分裂瓦解，不複存在了！”
2. 飲酒退兵
八月末，九月初適逢奧地利葡萄酒節，在暢飲醇香味美的葡萄酒之餘，不由得談起有好酒量的奧地利人。
黃立人先生說：“戰後初期，在維也納還有蘇聯占領軍駐守。維也納市長與蘇軍司令常常飲宴相邀。彼此之間也常常以葡萄酒相敬相較。蘇軍司令是戰場上的英雄，但在酒場上卻是每飲必醉，每醉必倒。不得不向市長低頭認輸。
到蘇軍撤退之時， 維也納市民歡呼慶祝結束占領，大遊行時，人們抬起維也納市長，恭維他是飲酒退兵的大功臣。
3. 音樂大軍
在奧地利期間，注意到社會治安甚好。街道上絕少看到警察，更難得見到軍人的蹤影。 倒是音樂家的雕像和紀念地比比皆是。
黃立人博士自豪地說：“雖然我們沒有強大的國防軍，但是我們有一支名冠全球的音樂大軍。莫紮特，施特勞就是司令和將軍；富於音樂修養的奧地利人民就是他的士兵。
麵對支戰無不勝的音樂大軍，希特勒，拿破倫，蘇聯紅軍都不得不甘拜下風。
4. 古拉什牛肉
在歐洲的大小飯店，常常見到一道匈牙利名菜 — 古拉什牛肉，味道類似天津起士林的紅燴牛肉。在奧地利吃起來卻別有一番風味，
一是那盛菜的家什，竟然是一隻吊在彎彎小鐵架上的小鋼盔，下麵放一盞酒精燈，青焰冉冉升起，鋼盔裏的菜肴咕嘟咕嘟冒泡。
二是奧地利朋友邊吃邊講：“這道美食起源於第一次世界大戰時，戰場上的士兵昇起營火，架起鋼盔；以就地撿拾的土豆和戰死疆場的馬肉一起烹煮而成。這苦中求生之舉發展成為一道傳世名菜：“古拉什牛肉” 寓意深遠，它示人以和平生存的珍貴道理。
5. 最短的書
黃博士是名副其實的奧地利中國通，席次間講述過一段笑話，他先問我們：“世界上最短的的三本書是什麽？” 我們一時語滯，隻好聽其緩緩道來：“我的答案一是英國的食譜，二是德國的聖經，三是瑞士的笑話。”
這應該是奧地利人調侃周圍的鄰居的笑談吧？在奧地利人看來，英國人生活十分簡樸，食譜當然甚短； 德國人不在乎上帝，聖經自然簡單；瑞士人嚴謹刻板，幽默感似乎少了些！
黃博士似乎認為，維也納才是歐洲的心髒，猶如中國的上海。生活品味，音樂修養都是歐洲翹楚。細想起來，的確有幾分道理。
6. 各有所長
後來居英期間，習慣了英國人的餐館和家庭飲宴，食譜的確簡單得很。一位請我參加家宴的主婦，端上桌的主菜就是一隻烤羊腿，席前問我的問題竟然是：“你知道天安門廣場坦克人的姓名嗎？” 原來這位女君子也是食無求飽者呀。
在德國考查時，注意到德國人周日不一定去做彌撒。青年人也愛去市政廳舉行簡單的婚禮。談話間往往涉及兩德的未來和統一，也十分關注環境保護。一次在接待西德OTTO * 公司來訪的CEO時，帶他參觀天津的建築垃圾堆山工程現場時，他看到我們拆除後扔掉的整磚和半磚，心痛不已，大呼：“你們太浪費資源了。” 他說：“二戰後重建家園時，我們連八分之一的磚頭都不舍得丟掉啊！”
鄰居瑞士人精準守時，說到做到。我的連襟是位瑞士機械師，做事務求完美，從來不說笑話。每次出國安裝機器，會把一次出差的所有單據，車票，機票、門票、照片甚至地圖整整齊齊的剪貼成冊。他家的客廳裏已經有幾十本這樣的紀念冊，整整齊齊地放在書架上，等待主人的回顧。
每當回憶起在奧地利遇上的人和事，的確都有一種寓意雋永，回味無窮之感。再見吧，幽默的奧地利朋友！
再見吧，簡樸、務實、刻板、守時的歐洲朋友！
筆者記於九十年代初，2021年12月定稿於美西矽穀。
?? 機器翻譯
45. 《The HUMOROUS AUSTRIAN》
Many years ago, my first visit to Europe impressed me with the strong sense of humor of Austrians.
1. Double-headed golden eagle
The Summer Palace in Vienna is a must-visit place for tourists. The magnificent palace is full of reliefs and sculptures inside and outside, and on the corner walls.
The most eye-catching is the statue of the two-headed golden eagle, which stands at the top of a pair of stone pillars in front of the square outside the summer palace gate. The golden light shines, spreading its wings and holding its head high, attracting its neck to fly. We can\'t help but stop and look up and savor the artistic conception of the Golden Eagle.
Mr. Huang Liren, an Austrian friend, proudly introduced, This is the symbol of the Austro-Hungarian Empire that dominated Europe in the last century. We couldn\'t help awe-inspiring. At this time, he interrupted our thoughts and asked, Guess where the Golden Eagle is going to fly?
After a while, he joked, A bird with two heads, each looking west and east. The Austro-Hungarian Empire, like this two-headed eagle, violated the laws of nature, had long been divided and disintegrated, and no longer existed!
2. Drink and retreat.
Late August and early September coincide with the Austrian Wine Festival. In addition to drinking mellow and delicious wine, I can\'t help talking about Austrians who have a good amount of wine.
Mr. Huang Liren said, In the early post-war period, Soviet occupation forces were stationed in Vienna. The mayor of Vienna and the commander of the Soviet army often invite each other at dinner. They often respect each other with wine. The commander of the Soviet army is a hero on the battlefield, but in the winery, he will get drunk every time he drinks and falls down every time he gets drunk. I had to bow my head to the mayor and admit defeat.
When the Soviet army retreated, the citizens of Vienna cheered to celebrate the end of the occupation. During the parade, the mayor of Vienna was raised and complimented him as a great contributor to drinking and retreating troops.
3. Army of music
During my stay in Austria, I noticed that social security was very good. There are few policemen on the street, let alone soldiers. Instead, statues and memorials of musicians are everywhere.
Dr. Huang Liren said proudly, Although we don\'t have a strong national defense force, we have a world-renowned music army. Mozart, Straw is the commander and general; the musically cultivated Austrian people are his soldiers.
In the face of the invincible music army, Hitler, Napoleum and the Soviet Red Army all had to give in.
4. Gulash beef
In restaurants in Europe, we often see a famous Hungarian dish - Gulash beef, which tastes similar to the red stewed beef in Tianjin cheeselin. It tastes unique in Austria.
One is the dishhouse. It turned out to be a small helmet hanging from the curved iron frame. There was an alcohol lamp under it. The green flames rose slowly, and the dishes in the helmet were gurgling and bubbled.
Second, an Austrian friend said as he ate, This delicacy originated in World War I. Soldiers on the battlefield raised campfires and set up helmets; cooked potatoes picked up in place and horse meat in the battlefield. This struggle to survive has developed into a famous dish handed down from generation to generation: Gulashi Beef has a far-reaching meaning, and it shows the precious truth of peaceful survival.
5. The shortest book
Dr. Huang is a veritable Austrian Chinaton. During his seat, he told a joke. He first asked us, What are the shortest three books in the world? We were sluggish for a while, so we had to listen to it slowly: My answer is the British recipe, the German Bible, and the Swiss joke.
This should be an Austrian joke about the neighbors around him, right? To the Austrians, the British life is very simple, and the recipe is certainly very short; the Germans don\'t care about God, and the Bible is naturally simple; the Swiss are rigorous and rigid, and the sense of humor seems to be less!
Dr. Huang seems to think that Vienna is the heart of Europe, just like Shanghai in China. Life taste and music cultivation are all European leaders. Thinking about it, there is indeed some truth.
6. Each has their own strong points
Later, when I lived in the UK, I was used to British restaurants and family banquets. The recipe was really simple. A housewife who invited me to the family banquet served a roast leg of mutton. The question that asked me at the banquet turned out to be: Do you know the name of the tanker in Tiananmen Square? It turns out that this gentlewoman is also a man who can\'t eat enough.
During the German test, I noticed that Germans may not go to Mass on Sunday. Young people also like to go to the city hall for simple weddings. The conversation often involves the future and unity of the two virtues, and also pays great attention to environmental protection. Once in reception of the visiting CEO of West Germany OTTO * Company, he took him to visit the construction garbage dump project site in Tianjin. When he saw the whole bricks and half bricks we threw away after demolition, he was heartbroken and shouted, You are too waste of resources. He said, When we rebuild our homes after World War II, we are reluctant to throw away one-eighth of the bricks!
The neighbor Swiss is accurate and punctual, and he does what he says. My company is a Swiss mechanic. I do things for perfection and never tell jokes. Every time you go abroad to install a machine, all the receipts, tickets, tickets, tickets, photos and even maps of a business trip will be neatly clipped and pasted into a book. There are already dozens of such souvenir books in his living room, neatly placed on the bookshelf, waiting for the owner\'s review.
Whenever I recall the people and things I met in Austria, there is indeed a sense of meaningful meaning and endless aftertaste. Goodbye, humorous Austrian friend!
Goodbye, simple, pragmatic, rigid and punctual European friend!
The author recorded it in the early 1990s and was finalized in Silicon Valley in the United States in December 2021.
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